~~Tinkerbell~~

Merlin Sythove 1955-2012

2012-01-12T13:37:00.000+01:00

On January 3rd of this new year Merlin Sythove passed to the Summerlands after he lost the battle with cancer. Although he wasn't a close friend, I'm glad our paths have crossed more than once. I'll miss him. He was a wise man who shared his knowledge happily and freely. We didn't always agree, but always agreed to disagree with mutual respect.

He was an important man for wicca in The Netherlands. In his last days his family, friends, acquaintances and others gathered together on his Facebook-page and on his Silver Circle forum, united in our sorrow. Numerous candles were lit around the world, healing sent, thoughts shared, etc. Even then (and still...) he brought people together.

Last Saturday we celebrated his life in an impressive and moving ceremony. Lots of people came together, dressed in medieval or appropriate fantasy style as was his wish. My heartfelt condolences go out to the people close to him. He'll be missed by many. Thank you for everything, Merlin. May you rest in peace. Until we meet again!

Merlin Sythove, witch extraordinaire - In Memoriam (Wiccan Rede Online)
Merlin's Archive - a collection of articles, mostly written by Merlin Sythove. Often published in Wiccan Rede, sometimes written by others and / or published in other journals or web sites.
Merlin about himself (in Dutch, but you can click the translate button for English, German or French)
Silver Circle - Center for The Old Religion, founded in 1979

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Elegy For a Dead Witch

by Doreen Valiente

To think that you are gone, over the crest of the hills,

As the Moon passed from her fullness, riding the sky,

And the White Mare took you with her.

To think that we will wait another life

To drink the wine from the horns and leap the fire.

Farewell from this world, but not from the Circle.

That place that is between the worlds

Shall hold return in due time. Nothing is lost.

The half of a fruit from the tree of Avalon

Shall be our reminder, among the fallen leaves

This life treads underfoot. Let the rain weep.

Waken in sunlight from the Realms of Sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Happy New Year

2012-01-05T16:31:00.000+01:00

Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry I'm a bit late though... A lot is happening, more about that later.

I won't do a 2011 review, I don't feel like it. A lot of bad stuff has happened then and I don't want to think about that anymore. I want to move forwards. I also have a lot to be thankful for, and I want that to be the focus for the new year!

Yuletide blessings

2011-12-21T01:46:00.004+01:00

May this Yule
by the turning of the wheel
bring love, peace, health,

happiness & good fortune;

hoping the rebirth of the light

shines new rays of hope

on you and yours!

Happy Holidays to all of you, my friends!

Blogblast For Peace 2011

2011-11-04T11:44:00.000+01:00

This is the fourth time I'm participating in Blogblast for Peace (and an extra one on 9/11 this year). I stumbled upon this simple but true quote by Mother Teresa and decided to build this year's globe around it. I chose children's drawings of smiles; also simple but very effective!

Blogblast for Peace links

Blessed Samhain!

2011-10-31T12:50:00.000+01:00

Some time ago I received an intriguing invitation: making a death mask for Samhain with a small group! I didn't have to think long and decided I'd definitely want to be there. So last Saturday it was time! Unfortunately one of the women wasn't feeling well, so we ended up being with 6 'wyld & wicked women'! ;-) Some had met each other before. I only knew the hostess beforehand, so I had the privilege to get to know 4 wonderful women.

First we had dinner at a beautiful Samhain-decorated table. Everyone had an extra plate for someone behind the veils. We shared stories about those people and animals while eating in their honour. This year I dedicated my plate to my dad. For dinner we had a very yummy salad, delicious pasta with pesto and salmon, an exquisite quiche and very tasty pizza! The dessert was even better: heavenly cheesecake and divine pecan pie with vanilla ice-cream.

In the temple called "Ons Ding" ("Our Thing") we prepared the plaster bandages for the masks. In the background you see the veils to the other world and on the right the beautiful altar.
We made the masks in pairs. To protect our skin and to make the mask easier to release we covered our face with a lot of cream. I had a nasty cold, so I was a bit nervous whether I could persevere the plaster. I decided to put some straws in my mouth, so I had both nose and mouth to breathe. Still, it wasn't easy! I started thinking a lot of "what-ifs". That wasn't going to help me persist so I went into a meditative state and that was the right decision. I did it!
Then it was my turn to make a mask. I soon felt I was very tired and the cold didn't make it any easier. I wanted to finish the mask, so I kept on putting plaster bandages. I struggled. I realized it wasn't working and felt so bad... Finally I asked someone else to take over. That was so hard, I felt I had failed miserably. In the kitchen I cried, but everyone was so kind and comforting! My mask partner got a beautiful mask nevertheless and she wasn't disappointed (as I had feared). On the contrary, she accepted her own lesson in this with grace; we talked it over and hugged.

Afterwards we all talked about what making the masks had done with us. Generally speaking death-masks are made after a person dies. Look here for examples. To do it on a living person can feel strange, especially when the eyes and mouth are covered. You literally shut them up...
Meanwhile, it was very late so we set up the beds and dived in! Unfortunately one of the women had to go home. I slept next to the veils in Ons Ding. In the morning we had a long breakfast / brunch, closed the circle and then we said our goodbyes. Thank you for everything, lovely ladies!

Witch's tools

2011-10-26T11:36:00.000+02:00

I've got a lot of 'witchy stuff': statues, incense-burners, candle-holders, stones, feathers, altar cloths, etc. etc. Some bought (new or second-hand), some given to me, some self-made. Over the years it made a nice collection. I made my own runes and my pentacle. Some things I have more of. For example I have my 'official' athame, but I also have a wooden one that Ron carved for me in Lier. Both very precious to me!

As a boline I mostly used a pretty little knife from Scandinavia. I have been looking for an 'official' one for years. For me it had to be a sickle with a white handle. The ones in pagan shops didn't appeal to me though; they are all the same. I trusted that eventually it would come to me. And it did!

This year on Castlefest I came across a blacksmith called Roodbaert (red-beard, and indeed he had one!). Ron and I talked with him and I told him how I saw the boline I wanted. He understood exactly what I wanted and its purpose. He told us he had recently got his hands on over 400 years old iron nails. He offered to try to make my knife from those, and at a very reasonable price.

A few weeks ago the knife arrived. We had asked him to make it with a simple handle, because I wanted to wrap it with white leather myself. It took some time but I'm very very satisfied with the result!
(click on the pics to see them bigger)

Lowlands Asatru Thing

2011-10-24T20:07:00.000+02:00

In the second weekend of October Ron and I went to the first Lowlands Asatru Thing. A 'thing' in its historical meaning is a court assembly, but was later used for an assembly of the people. Asatru is explained here. Lowlands is self-explanatory I guess. The purpose of the meeting was to bring together asatruar (practitioner of asatru) and people interested in asatru for various purposes. We gathered in "De Grote Bunte" in Nunspeet, a beautiful place surrounded by nature.

We arrived in the early evening of Friday, after an aggravating drive because the car stopped running on LPG. We decided to leave that there and then and have a great weekend, which we did! :-)
Later in the evening the LAT was officially opened. Around the tables we all gave a little introduction of ourselves. I'm not astruar, my path is witchcraft / wicca, but I like to work with the Norse pantheon and was curious to learn more about it. There were several people I already knew and I got to know new people.

On Saturday there were some very interesting workshops: how to look at historic sources, spirits of the land, introduction to the 'high seat of the seer' and deity of Dutch soil. All very interesting and thought-provoking! In the entrance-hall and the workshop-room were a lot of books on display. Great to roam about!

In the evening there was a blot (asatru ritual). The weather wasn't that great, a lot of rain all weekend. The blot was outside, it was dry at first. Of course it started to rain, long live the lowlands! :-) We decided to stay outside nevertheless and had a wonderful ritual in the pouring rain. Quite different from what I am used to, great to witness and be part of!

Sunday I was up and about very early and decided to take a walk in the woods behind the buildings. It was very beautiful and I made a lot of pictures. Of one place I made 3 pics within 5 seconds and was surprised to see them. I leave it up to you what to make of it...

After breakfast we attended two workshops: making a bind-rune and burn it into a wooden slice and singing power-chants. Afterwards we did a closing ritual and all went our different ways. Until next year! :-)

Adiana again

2011-10-11T19:44:00.001+02:00

Last week I had an appointment for the final test of the Adiana procedure, the hysterosalpingogram. HSG is a fertility testing technique that involves the injection of a special dye into the uterus through the cervical opening. The progression of the dye is then monitored via x-ray. It shows whether the tubes are completely closed or not.

It was done by another gynaecologist. She was very friendly and did her best, but man oh man... it was SO painful! I know I have a low pain barrier, but still... Everything she did hurt, and hurt badly! Ron later said she was very young and seemed a bit insecure and clumsy when she didn't get it right in one try. I can handle pain impulses, but it just didn't stop hurting. I couldn't relax locally as I did with the Adiana procedure itself. I could watch the screens and follow the dye. I cannot describe how I felt when I clearly saw one tube wasn't closed completely.... Oh NO! What a disappointment...

Afterwards I felt shaky and when the gynaecologist and nurse left I burst into tears. I was in pain and lost quite a lot of blood. The doctor had said that was normal, so I wasn't alarmed and in the days after it slowly got less and eventually disappeared.

Today I spoke with my own gynaecologist. He told me only a very small percentage of tubes wasn't closed completely after 6 months. Of course I belong to that minority, just my luck... :-( We agreed to do another internal ultrasound scan next week, just to be sure the inserts are still in place. Then in 3 months we have to repeat the HSG. Unfortunately there is no other way to indisputably prove the closing of the tubes. He promised me he'll do it himself and in a slightly different way. Not completely painless, but hopefully a bit more bearable. With something to relax and pain medication beforehand I think I'll manage, but I'm not looking forward to it!

UPDATE Oct. 17: Just got back from the ultrasound. The inserts are still in place. One is slightly further into my tube, what might be why it isn't completely closed yet. The new HSG will be done in January.

Worlds Biggest Summit (free!)

2011-09-30T09:24:00.000+02:00

Worlds Biggest Summit

Goddess Leonie of Goddess Guidebook.com is organizing a wonderful event, and it's completely free! Learn from 100+ great teachers including SARK, Julia Cameron, Lynn V. Andrews and many many more. Business luminaries, spirituality leaders, health & wellness visionaries, creativity goddesses, the writers you worship, the bloggers you bow to, the geniuses you ogle, the wisdom you’re craving...

It's online, so you can download and listen when the time is right for you!
Come and join us!

The Queen's Meme Cat edition

2011-09-27T21:54:00.000+02:00

We shall talk cats this week. Puuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

1. Do you have a cat?
Yes, three!

2. What is your cat's name?
They are named after goddesses: Freyja, Bastet & Maia

3. What makes you love cats?
How can one NOT love cats? They are beautiful, independent, obstinate, loving, purring and soooo much more! Couldn't live without them!

4. If you are not a cat person, why not?
I am a cat person and a dog person. They say that's rare, most people are the one or the other, or at least have a preference.

5. What is the funniest thing your cat has ever done?
It never bores me to look at a cat playing with something simple like a paper pellet or a dripping tap. Makes me smile every time!

6. Do you think cats have feelings and can talk to their owners?
I like to think they have feelings. My cats talk (meow) to me, just wished I knew the language!

7. The Rainbow Bridge is the place where cats go when they pass away. I think it's a lovely idea. If humans could have a bridge of their own in the afterlife, what would you name it?
I say we all go to the same Rainbow Bridge. When we arrive at the bridge our pets are waiting for us to cross it with us to the Summerland.

BONUS POINTS! Post a picture of you and your cat.

I can't find a pic of me with all three of them, but here they are.

From left to right Maia, Freyja, Bastet!

(the links bring you to their Catster-pages)

I remember 9/11

2011-09-11T14:46:00.000+02:00

No words can ever really express my feelings,

so I respectfully stay silent in remembering...

(This post is published on 2011-09-11 14:46 Dutch time,
the exact moment of the first plain hitting the WTC 10 years ago)

Freddie 65

2011-09-05T12:47:00.003+02:00

Freddie Mercury would have been 65 today. He is still missed by so many, but he will live forever through the music legacy he left behind for us...

Google honoured Freddie in a special Doodle today:

Sick and tired

2011-09-02T14:08:00.001+02:00

Yep, I was sick... again! I've missed all the flu attacks since I started taking echinacea a few years ago. Everyone around me got it, except me. But this year it seems to be my turn, despite the echinacea I'm still taking. And it keeps coming back. This last week I was sick for the fourth time in just three months! Of course I was a good girl, listened to my body and stayed in bed or on the couch. I'm feeling a bit better now and I sincerely hope this was it. I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired! Most of the time I can handle the 'tired'-part, but I'm fed up with being sick and/or feeling under the weather. All the stress in our life can't be good, but I can't take that away. If only I could... *sigh*
Okay, enough ranting. Just thought I'd let you know where I've been this week.

Farewell to Miss Peach

2011-08-24T17:28:00.003+02:00

(image found at Purrchance To Dream /
made by Jan of Jan's Funny Farm for the Cat Blogosphere)

This morning I found out that Miss Peach has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. That made me so very sad... Who is Miss Peach, you think? Well, in her own words: "I am Misses Peach, an 18 year old Victorian Devon Rex kitty who tolerates living in this modern world but would rather live in Jane Austen or Beatrix Potters time." A cat? Yes, but not just any cat...

As a beginning blogger I visited Miss Peach's Meowz, my first encounter with a blogging cat. Little did I know... There is a whole Cat Blogosphere of cats with blogs! Cat-lover as I am, I started following a lot of them. Miss Peach always had her special place in my heart. Can you care for a cat you've never met irl? I know I can! Non-catlovers and non-bloggers (and maybe more people) might not understand, but I don't care. Of course it's not the same as loving my own furballs, but that doesn't mean it isn't real...

Rest in peace, sweet tiny Miss Peach! You'll be missed around the world... My heart goes out to her loving family, that took such great care of her until the very end. A candle will be burning in front of my Bast statue for all of you!

The Queen's Meme - The Upside Down Question Meme

2011-08-23T17:49:00.000+02:00

Questions you say? Today we shall ask questions about..well....questions. I shall pose a question. Your answer must be a question. Behold your brain-twisting activity for the day...

If you could ask one question of the following .....
What would your question be?

Your iPod
"How do you know exactly what song to play 'at random'?"

Casey Anthony
"How did it come this far???"

Your ex's last ex
I think I am my ex's last ex...

Your pet
"Can you really understand a word I'm saying?"

John Lennon
"Can you forgive Mark Chapman?"

Your great-grandmother on your father's side
"How did a typical day in your life unfold?"

Your mirror
"Why can't you just lie to me?"

Foofur & Arwen in the dunes

2011-08-22T15:04:00.001+02:00

Yesterday I took Foofur & Arwen for a walk in the dunes. I made pics and two short video's. When I got home I downloaded Windows Movie Maker and started experimenting. This is the result! No music yet (still have to figure that out), just the sound of the wind. I hope you'll enjoy it nevertheless. :)

Adiana progress update

2011-08-20T11:24:00.006+02:00

Do you see the two white spots left and right of center? We have twins! *lol* Hahaha, no... Those are the Adiana inserts. Last Thursday I had an appointment to check the progress. I got an internal ultrasound scan and a talk with the gynaecologist. Everything is okay, it's going as planned. I've made an appointment in October for the final HSG-test.

The Queen's Meme - Mimi's Old Memes Meme

2011-08-16T16:59:00.000+02:00

Mimi took one question from each of the first 7 question memes she ever did and put them into this meme!

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? (from The Silly Questions Meme)
---> Aaaargh, bad hair day!
Name something about humanity you absolutely hate. (from The Monday Melee Meme)
---> abuse of children and animals in any way
What was the first lie your mother ever told you? (from Ten Lies My Mother Told Me meme)
---> I don't want to remember that...
Name one thing you should never say around a Ouija Board. (from The Ten Things You Should Never Say Around a Ouija Board meme - from Frank @ Honk'n'Hollr)
---> "Wanna play? Come on over!" (although I strongly discourage use of a Ouija board, but that's another discussion)
What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? (from the I Think I Caught Something Meme)
---> I don't have a bathtub (yet!), but in the shower I use Dove.
If a doctor told you today that you were pregnant, what would you say? (The Honesty Meme)
---> "Whaaaaaaaaaaat???" Although technically still possible I hope not (see my Adiana post)
Are you in a complicated love situation? (from The Don't Call Me, I'll Call You Meme)
---> Thank goodness no! I'm happily married. :-)

Mr. Linky doesn't work for this meme for me, but if you leave a comment I'll visit you!

Castlefest 2011

2011-08-12T17:17:00.001+02:00

Oops, quite some time again since I posted last time. It's not that I don't want to post, but most of the time it would be bad news and rants. Life isn't great at the moment, and that's a huge understatement...
We did go back Lier for 5 days and we had some wonderful times there. The weather wasn't great, but we enjoyed ourselves nevertheless. Unfortunately I caught a bronchial infection. Even with antibiotics it took quite some time to cure. When I got better, Ron got sick. Nice couple we are, always lucky! :-S

Last weekend we went to the fantasy/medieval/gothic/pagan fair Castlefest. We had a great time! Here's a video, that gives a nice impression:

In the afternoon there was a cloud burst or maybe a few all together! We found shelter under a tree, but still got soaking wet. The rest of the day it was dry and even sunny at times. We met a lot of friends and others, went to a lecture, watched some great bands perform... We had a great time! I've put the pictures we made in an album on Facebook (no account needed to see them).

Thank you Robbie!

2011-07-19T17:26:00.002+02:00

Yesterday, the big day arrived! The Robbie Williams (and Take That) concert in the Amsterdam Arena! I checked the website all day. The 2nd concert in Denmark had to be cancelled last Saturday because Robbie had food poisoning. Thank goodness our concert wasn't cancelled!

Because we had seated tickets we didn't have to go early. We entered the stadium when The Pet Shop Boys had just started. I love those old songs, brings back memories. The sound wasn't very good though, but fortunately that was solved before the main act arrived.

Take That as a foursome opened the concert with some lame songs. Didn't really catch me until 'Patience' and then 'Shine'. I've never been much of a TT-fan, especially not the quartet. I like it, enjoy some of the songs, but that was not what I went for. Sorry, boys...

Then suddenly there was a familiar face and a familiar sound.... Robbie!!! The whole stadium came alive and the sound-level multiplied big time. He knows how to make an entrance and started with 'Let Me Entertain You'. Now that's how you open a concert! Followed by 'Rock DJ' and 'Come Undone'. In between Rob chatted. He looked very good, although sometimes there were little signs that he wasn't back to complete strength yet. That didn't stop him from giving it all. My all-time favourite 'Feel' was great:

Of course 'Angels' couldn't miss on the set-list:

After a break with dancers Take That returned in original setting with Rob leading them in 'The Flood'. The podium looked magnificent. It did so all evening, the set was really awesome! They started high up in the air. Rob was lowered upside-down like he started the 2003 concerts, spectacular! After some of the new hits they gathered around the piano for the old stuff. Unfortunately not 'Could It Be Magic', but still some great ones like 'Everything Changes'. Mark is my favourite person of the other TT-ers but his voice has changed and I really don't like the sound of it anymore. Gary has a wonderful voice of course. Pity he didn't sing 'Shame' with Rob. In the encore they sang 'No Regrets' (rather hear the original) and 'Relight My Fire' (sounded like a new remix, not bad).

Afterwards I was dog-tired, very thirsty and had a sore throat but man oh man was it worth it! WOOHOO!!!! Rob must have been exhausted, but I'm sure behind the scenes Ayda has received him with a lot of TLC and that's the best medicine for him. :-)

Here are my pics:

Concert Robbie Williams (& Take That)

What a vacation...

2011-07-18T15:20:00.000+02:00

Thursday the 7th Ron and I were finally on our way, ready for a great two-weeks vacation in Lier, Belgium. We arrived late in the afternoon. I didn't feel completely fit, but it was just like having my period. Just what the doctor had said after the Adiana. In the evening we went for a walk along the river Nete. The weather was nice and the dogs were happy too. We noticed a lot of herbs, so we planned to pick them later in the week.

The next morning my back ached. Perhaps I had slept in a wrong position or something, I don't know. Every move hurt. Still we decided to go into town to do some shopping and groceries. It went okay, but I was exhausted when we got back. Little by little I was feeling worse: my back, nauseous, dizzy... I tried to eat something, but it didn't taste at all. In the end I went to bed early. Unfortunately I didn't feel better when I woke up, on the contrary. A few days I was feeling so ill... After that I felt slightly better, but that was about it. I didn't get better. In the end we decided last week to go home, in hopes of getting better there. I felt so sad to have to abort the vacation, but we really had no other choice. I couldn't stop crying though.

So, last Tuesday we got home. Ron called the gynaecologist, but he said it had nothing to do with the Adiana procedure. Perhaps only my strength was a bit low which caused me to get ill. He advised me to take paracetamol a few times a day and let the illness run its course. Gradually that made me feel a bit better, but it took quite some time. Right now I'm still not completely back to normal, but I feel okay. If the weather cooperates a bit, perhaps we'll go back for a few days. We'll see...

Done!

2011-07-06T20:57:00.000+02:00

This afternoon the Adiana procedure was done. I wasn't really nervous. The gynaecologist was very nice and his assistants too. We chatted about our upcoming vacation and in the meantime we could watch everything on a tv screen next to me. The doctor explained what he was doing. It didn't hurt, but sometimes it felt awkward and strange. He informed me when the feeling could be worse. The moment of releasing the insert was uncomfortable. It made me feel dizzy and nauseous. Luckily this doctor gives a shot of atropine before the procedure, otherwise I would have fainted. The feeling disappeared when the delivery catheter was taken out. The whole thing lasted 15 minutes maximum! Right now it feel okay, quite normal actually. It can hurt like a normal period at best. In 5 weeks I'll get a consult and an ultrasound scan for control. After 3 months a test will be done to confirm that my tubes are completely blocked.

At first Ron and I planned to have kids some day, but then my depressions and eating disorders got in the way. I couldn't take care of myself, let alone take care of a baby. When those problems were more or less behind me, the chronic fatigue became the next spoil-sport. Now, 10 years later, the fatigue is still there. We don't want to put a child in this situation, doesn't feel fair to the little one. Plus meanwhile I'm almost 43. It's for the best, it wasn't meant to be. Regrets? Not really... I guess over the years we got used to the idea of having no kids. We enjoy the freedom and are at peace with it.

Adiana procedure

2011-07-05T15:26:00.000+02:00

I'm still trying to get off as much medication as possible. Last year we talked about birth control. I'm still using a contraceptive pill. The hormones in it have influence on my body and the other medication, so I'd like to stop taking them.
The best option is sterilization and the easiest way would be for Ron to do it. But that never felt good for me. If anything happens to me, he can still have kids for the rest of his life while my biological clock has almost run out. Of course we don't presume anything happening, but the consideration stands nevertheless. On the other hand sterilisation for me meant surgery, not very appealing either.

In a women's magazine I read something about the Adiana procedure, a safe and minimally invasive procedure for permanent contraception. I made an appointment with a gynaecologist that specializes in Adiana and Essure (another, similar method). He advised me to stop with the pill for some months to see whether my menstrual bleeding pattern would return and be regular. That turned out to be the case, so the appointment could be made for the procedure. Unfortunately that had to be rescheduled several times, but tomorrow afternoon it will be done.

There are four simple steps to the Adiana procedure:

Step 1: A slender, flexible instrument (delivery catheter) is passed through the body's natural openings (i.e., through the vagina and cervix and into the uterus) to deliver a low level of radiofrequency energy (i.e., energy that generates heat to create a superficial lesion) to a small section of each fallopian tube.

Step 2: A tiny, soft insert - about the size of a grain of rice - is placed in each of your fallopian tubes, right where the energy was applied.

Step 3: You must use another form of birth control over the next 3 months, while new tissue grows in and around the Adiana inserts, eventually blocking your fallopian tubes.

Step 4: At 3 months, a special test is performed (hysterosalpingogram or HSG) to confirm that your tubes are fully blocked. This test will ensure that the procedure has been successful.

Or you can watch an animation of the procedure here.

All text, images and the animation are property of Adiana / Hologic Inc.

House blessing

2011-07-04T15:55:00.004+02:00

Our friend Maralynn got a new home some weeks ago. She planned a house blessing and asked me to help her with the ritual. Some people asked me what we did and with her permission I'll give you an idea.

Yesterday friends gathered in her home, varying from experienced witch to newcomer. First I explained what we were going to do. Then we cast the circle from hand to hand. I love that way of casting a circle, because everyone has an active part and it literally binds people together for the ritual. I called the quarters and Maralynn invited the goddess and the god.

The heart or the working part of the ritual consisted of three parts:

cleansing the house with a smudge stick (white sage, lemon grass and cedar) by Maralynn and me
blessing the house with the elements by Maralynn and three others, each with an element (incense, candle, water and salt)
making a witches' bottle together for home protection - Maralynn decided not to bury the bottle but place it on a shelf above her front door

For the cake and wine Maralynn had biological apple juice (she doesn't like alcohol, yay for me!) and self-baked pentagram cookies. Of course we saved some for the libation (offering to the gods and local spirits).

After thanks and closing the circle we had a delicious barbecue to celebrate!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Arwen!!!

2011-06-29T19:10:00.000+02:00

Remember this picture? It seems like yesterday, but it was nearly 2 years ago. Arwen is celebrating her 2nd birthday today!! She is a bit 'petite' for a Berner Sennen (Bernese Mountain dog), small and lean. She loves to play, run and especially: swim! You can see her grow up in her own photo album. Here are the latest ones:

What? This is my birthday???

Does that mean I get an extra treat???

That was yummy! Come and share some cake for my birthday!

Long time no see

2011-06-17T21:15:00.002+02:00

Yeah, I haven't been posting much lately... I have so much I want to do, so much I need to do and even more I have to do... Somehow that ends up in me doing nothing. I'll give you a little update though...

My health still bothers me. As I wrote before, I'm caught between happy feelings (yay, nothing's wrong) and discomfort. I don't feel good, on the contrary. I'm not sick, it's hard to describe. On top of the physical problems I'm also struggling mentally. Life isn't easy at the moment. I won't tire you with the details, but it's more survival than life... Bleh, enough of that negativity.

From Ascension Day until the Sunday thereafter my coven was invited to the Greencraft Coven Convention in Castle De Berckt in Baarlo, Netherlands. Greencraft is an Alexandrian based Wiccan Tadition, founded by Hera and Arghuicha (read more on the Greencraft website).We had wonderful days filled with workshops, rituals, meetings and social interaction. The weather was very good, although a bit too sunny and warm to my liking. A lot could be done outside. Because the tradition celebrated its 20th anniversary the covens had prepared a beautiful and very special ritual to honour and thank Hera and Arghuicha. We were very honoured to be able to take part in this.

We are busy with Ron's business called Van Leeuwen Auto Advies (Van Leeuwen Car Advice) or VLAA. The website is online: www.vlaa.nl. The colours we are using come from Van Swieten, the transport company for which Ron's father worked and Ron has fond memories of. We have done a lot of work these last weeks/months. The logo, business cards, etc. are ready too. The car will get some advertisement next week. Let the customers come! :-)

Last weekend Ron and I went to a little folk festival called Teylinger Fest. It was organized for the first time this year, but hopefully it won't be the last! There were folk bands playing all day in the Ruin of Teylingen. On the fields around it were market stalls and entertainment. You can see our pictures in my Facebook album "Teylinger Fest 2011" (no need for a FB account to watch).

That's it for now. I'll try to post more regularly!

Results

2011-05-30T10:07:00.002+02:00

The cardiologist just called. There was nothing wrong with my 48 hours ECG or any of the other tests. My basic heartrate is somewhat higher than average, but no problems, no arrhythmia, nothing out of the ordinary. Now I'm torn between being happy (nothing wrong, yay!) and feeling disappointed with this unsatisfactory answer (I feel lousy, what IS wrong than, damn it?!). The heart specialist will report to my GP and that's it for now. I feel a bit numb...

PFI Conference 2011

2011-05-22T21:56:00.001+02:00

Finally some time to write about the Pagan Federation International (PFI) Conference in Lunteren last week!
I arrived just in time for the opening ritual performed by Rufus & Melissa Harrington. After that I said hello to friends from the Lowland Systers, my coven, the Olympia studygroup, other workshops, etc. The yearly PFI Conference is always a great place to meet a lot of people I know and to get to know others.

The first workshop I went to was by Gerry Damen about energetic protection. Of course I know a bit about the subject, but the way she presented it was enlightening. The story behind energetic protection and why/when we need it, the different ways people use, how we can improve our own method, etc. Very interesting! We also did some exercises.

On the workshop schedule was an item that intrigued me, because I know very little about it: Enochia. It was given by Rufus Harrington. He is a Wiccan High Priest and initiate of the Western Mysteries who has spent many years studying Elizabethan magic. He has reconstructed the rituals of that era's most famous mage, Dr John Dee, using Dee's original manuscripts, and related documents. A renowned expert on Elizabethan magic, he teaches Enochia throughout Europe. He told about his own acquaintance with Enochia. He talked about John Dee and Edward Kelley and their work together. A lot of practices we use today originally come from the Enochian system of magic. Rufus let us call the quarters with the original text in Enochian, which isn't easy to pronounce I might add! It felt very powerful though.

The next workshop was something completely different: Vincent Ongkowidjojo about the Nine Worlds in the Northern Tradition. He has an interesting view on the nine worlds and how we see them today. I bought his Dutch book about Runes in the Northern Tradition. He has also written a book in English: Secrets of Asgard.

Taloch Jameson gave a workshop Drumming Meditation. He expresses his paganism through music with his band, The Dolmen, and through being a ceremonial facilitator with the multi-path Dolmen Grove which he formed in the early 1990s. He told about the magical history of the island of Portland off the Dorset coast of the UK. He chanted with us and let us feel the power of drumming in meditation. The workshop was over way too soon, I would have loved to hear more of him!

The last workshop I wanted to attend was by Alruin of Mandragora. When I got into the room, incense was burning. Somehow it got to me heavily. Within a few minutes I started to feel uncomfortable and sweaty. I decided to leave. Pity I had to, the workshop sounded very intriguing! In the hallway a friend picked me up and took me outside where I felt better in no time.

In between the workshops I visited the little market in the big hall.
I bought cotton tape for my new robe at the stall of Feuersprung, a German shop with a great assortment of ritual stuff. They had brought a lot of tape, but also gorgeous statues.
From GardenStone I bought his book Het Mercurius-Wodan complex.
I also browsed through the other stalls with books, stones/crystals, incense and a lot more!

The closing ritual was performed by Rufus & Melissa Harrington. It involved some kind of maypole dance. I didn't join in, because I still didn't feel great, but I enjoyed it from the edge of the room. I shared in the energy, which was very joyful and exuberant.

Ron arrived just in time for dinner, a wonderful and yummy Indonesian Buffet. During the closing ritual he bought me a beautiful gift: the statue of Herne I admired earlier at the Feuersprung stall! I love it!!

In the evening a storm was coming, a musical storm in the appearance of the English band The Dolmen! We had seen them on the Elf Fantasy Fair and Ron decided to come for this gig. Their performance was great! The audience was very enthusiastic and the dancefloor was crammed all night. I've put some Dolmen pics in a Facebook album.

Berner Sennen meeting

2011-05-18T23:51:00.015+02:00

Last Sunday there was another Berner Sennen (Bernese Mountaindog) meeting in Hoofddorp. Although I was tired from the day before (more about that later) I'm very glad we went. Arwen had a great time and so did we.
One of the Berner Sennen owners, Hermien Stok, presented her second children's book about Berner Sennen dogs. What better place to do that than on a lawn surrounded by Berner Sennen dogs? You can find her books here (along with other great Berner Sennen stuff!).
After the presentation we made a walk around the pond. Of course Arwen was the first to go into the water, she loves to swim. Ron made a lot of pics, I've put them in an online album. Click on the pic below to go to the album.

Bernermeeting Hoofddorp

My heart

2011-05-12T16:45:00.046+02:00

Last Monday I had an appointment with the heart specialist. A very nice lady, kind and efficient. An ECG was made and I had to do a test on the hometrainer. Nothing strange could be seen. The last time I suffered from my heart problems there was a doctor present. She immediately noted what was happening: atrium fibrillation. It is not good, but not too serious either and not life-threatening in itself, but it is very uncomfortable and increases the risk of other heart problems.

The cardiologist gave me a portable device to monitor my heart for 48 hours from Monday to Wednesday. It made a 48 hour ECG on a digital storage card. Unfortunately (well, under these circumstances...) I didn't have another serious problem, although I had a few times that my heart started racing and I felt bad. I discovered the symptoms start coming when I'm standing still for some time. Exertion doesn't trigger the problems, but standing still does. Strange! I have written down my experiences and handed them in with the device.
The doctor will call me with the results on May 30th. I'm curious, we'll see...

Blessed Beltane!

2011-05-01T11:52:00.003+02:00

Dew Kissed and Beltane Blessed

(a poem by Bendis)

hawthorn gathered in the may

atop a tree of birch

gaily blowing in the wind

rainbow ribbons spin

queen of may, jack o'green

bless the fields and land

lively dancing kissing twirling

ribbons in the hand

king making, goddess blessed

sacred vows of ancient days

wrapping ribbons round the pole

dance the sacred ways

spread the grass make a bed

lay upon the land

spill the seed bless the night

lovers hand in hand

come my love, walk with me

we'll lay upon the grass

our love to bless this night

and watch the moonlight pass

dew kissed, we shall awake

~*~*~*~

Have a Blessed Beltane! And to my friends in the Southern Hemisphere: have a Blessed Samhain!
In a minute I'm off to a Beltane celebration and ritual with my coven. How are you celebrating Beltane (or Samhain) this year?

A little update

2011-04-24T22:33:00.001+02:00

I've been wanting to write a post almost every day in the last two weeks, but somehow every time something got in the way. A little update...

The finances for Ron's business are finally done. The normal banks weren't interested, didn't even take a look at the businessplan. We don't have personal money to invest, so the verdict was an established fact: not interested. We didn't give up and turned to Qredits, the only nationwide operating microfinance institution in The Netherlands. We got a visit of one of their business advisors and he liked the idea and plans. Finally, after almost a year of pursuing this goal, the business can really start.
Sounds good, huh? It is, really! But from that moment on eveything seemed to be doomed. Whatever we did, it all backfired. Whatever we started went wrong. It would be too much to spell it all out, but man... it was exhausting and undermining our motivation. But again... we won't give up! Things can only get better... Luctor et Emergo! ;-)

I haven't been feeling very well the past weeks. Something went wrong with my heart and blood pressure medication (my fault). Last week after I went countrydancing I collapsed at home. My heart rate and blood pressure were skyhigh. I really felt very bad. My medication is okay again, but still my heart is racing regularly and my blood pressure is too high even in rest. I'll have to make a doctor's appointment next week. Perhaps my medications have to be adapted; they all interact. We'll see.

Last saturday we went to the Elf Fantasy Fair in Haarzuilens, a festival for fantasylovers, pagans, live action role play (larp), re-enactment, etc. with great music, stands, workshops, lectures and more on the grounds of Castle De Haar. We had a great time! You can see our pictures in my Picasa webalbum:

Elf Fantasy Fair

Reiki Master

2011-04-10T21:53:00.001+02:00

I got my Reiki 1st degree in 2003 together with my sister Joke and in 2005 we got our 2nd degree together. Unfortunately our Master decided to stop with courses and attunements. It took some time to find another way to continue this path. When I finally found it, I started the Master study at 1st degree level so I could refresh my memory and learn some new things. Because of the fatigue and concentration problems it took me longer than expected but I did finish it!

Friday morning I got my Reiki 3rd degree attunement / initiation together with 4 others. It was a very intense experience for me and very emotional. Water kept running from my eyes and it weren't tears, a strange feeling! My body felt very heavy, but not uncomfortable. Afterwards I couldn't stop yawning.
After lunch we immediately started giving 1st and 2nd degree attunements to a group of people. Attunement is hard work for me. I got energy from it but my body was exhausted. I'll have to be creative to find a good way for me to do this, but that shouldn't be a problem. The Reiki Master gave me some tips already. It was a long, but very instructive and nice day. After taking my time with studying I can finally call myself a Reiki Master!

Berner Sennen Beach Walk

2011-04-04T16:14:00.000+02:00

Yesterday Ron and I went with Arwen to an organized walk on the beach of Noordwijk with 50 to 60 Berner Sennen (Bernese Mountain) dogs from all over The Netherlands. For us it wasn't far, just a 45 min. drive. The weather forecast had been very bad for this afternoon, but fortunately they were all wrong! It was dry, quite warm and even sunny from time to time. Almost perfect conditions for dogs on the beach. We didn't bring Foofur this time. The beach is not his favourite and we had already been to the IJmuiden beach the day before. Of course Arwen had a blast! We walked along the beach near the sea. She loves the water and was soaking wet in no time. We enjoyed ourselves very much, but at the end we were dog-tired! ;-))

I've put our pics in an album here.

Magical Realms stampset

2011-03-26T12:28:00.000+01:00

I collect stamps, Dutch stamps, but when I came across this beautiful British set I simply couldn't resist.

The set is called Magical Realms and features worldfamous magical characters: Rincewind & Gytha Ogg (Terry Pratchett's Discworld series), Dumbledore & Voldemort (J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series), Merlin & Morgan Le Fay (Arthurian legend) and Aslan & The White Witch (The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis). My compliments to the Royal Mail for this amazing issue!

Want them too? I ordered directly on the Royal Mail website.

Booktip: WyrdWood - The Story of Dusty Miller

2011-03-21T12:07:00.001+01:00

I've had the privilege of meeting Dusty Miller the 13th during Walk & Talks in Amsterdam (2006) and Zeist (2007). To say he's an interesting man is a huge understatement... When I heard there was a book about him, I ordered it immediately at Lulu. I received it last week and read it in a few hours. I love it and most importantly, it does Dusty justice. I highly recommend it, as you can read in my 5-star review.

description:

"Dusty Miller 13th is an English Shaman and Folk Magician. He is descended from the aboriginal inhabitants of Britain, the Elfin tribes who dwelt in the primeval forest before the Celtic invasions. He carries the traditions and wisdom of his Elfin ancestors through into the modern day. In this book, written with the consent and active co-operation of Dusty and his family, Dusty's relationship with the Ancient Tree Spirits known as Dryads is explained, along with the manner in which he gathers LiveWood from the Dryads – wood which still contains a living, sentient spirit – and crafts it into magical tools, such as wands, staves, cudgels and pendants. These LiveWood artifacts are items possessed of powerful and ancient Magick, with an emphasis upon healing, protection and becoming successful in life."

Relaxing yurt weekend

2011-03-14T16:49:00.001+01:00

I got to know the yurts in Otterlo when I spent two weekends there with the Lowland Systers last year in March and November. When Ron heard my stories and saw the pics he said he would like to go there too!

So last weekend we stayed in a yurt with 3 friends and we had a great time. We all needed the peace and quiet after days/weeks/months of stress and other stuff. The weather cooperated nicely, it was dry and sunny. Ron and I drove to the yurt friday afternoon, the others arrived in the evening.

Saturday we woke up slowly and spent the day doing whatever we felt like! The men did some archery, I went for a walk in the woods, we all relaxed and enjoyed ourselves. In the afternoon the hottub was fired up. The men tried it first (very hot!), later in the evening the ladies joined them. In between we had a barbecue! After soaking and relaxing in the hottub we went back into the yurt. I slept a lot and very well!

On Sunday we had another quiet morning. Slowly we started packing and clearing out stuff. In the afternoon we drove home after a wonderful weekend with friends, fun and relaxation. Just what the doctor ordered! ;-)

Duke Taylor

2011-03-10T14:51:00.001+01:00

I learned about Duke Taylor through his Facebook-page. He was a wonderful dog with a heart condition. On his page he raised awareness and tried to help other dogs in every way possible. Every day I checked in to see how Duke was doing, to look for new pictures and/or causes.

Unfortunately Duke lost his fight on March 4th. He has crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge. In the end he didn’t suffer and had the chance to spend the night with all of the family, one more time. Just like Duke, his tail was wagging and he was licking anyone who would be near. He was a fighter and kind soul. He was a champion, a very special dog. His family is hoping to keep his spirit alive and The Duke Nation (all of us fans and supporters) is keen to do so. His page will be continued to spread the word about animal causes and help other animals in need.

RIP dear Duke, you won't be forgotten!

I donated $ 10 in loving memory of Duke to help other dogs in need.
If you're willing and able it would be great if you do so too.
Any amount is welcome! Thank you.

BF but not Forever...

2011-03-07T15:02:00.000+01:00

Once there was a man I called my best friend (after Ron of course) but no more... His ideas about friendship turned out to be very different from mine. How mistaken could I be...

We have been friends for quite some years. Last year he finally found the love of his life. I couldn't be happier for him! Of course that changed the friendship a bit, but that was to be expected and fine with me. The contact was less frequent, but our bond seemed as strong as it had always been. At the end of January I went to visit him for a day and we had a wonderful day together. A few days later he called, panic-stricken by a certain problem. Ron and I talked to him and calmed him down a bit. I was worried, but he said he'd go to his girlfriend so he would be okay. I asked him to let me know how it would work out.

After this I didn't hear anything from him for weeks. I tried to call several times, several numbers. Nothing! I was confused, but decided to give it some time. He obviously needed that. I sent him an invitation to Ron's birthday, like we did to all our friends. He didn't show up, didn't call, no card, nothing... Last Saturday I sent him a normal e-mail, asking him what was going on. I was still worried. Yesterday evening I got a short and cold answer. He had no use for other people's misery. He would contact me again when he would be in need for it. O yes, and a congratulatory message for Ron. All in two lines. I was speechless, hurt, flabbergasted, in shock, stunned, baffled... name it what you want, I think it's clear...

After a lot of crying I decided to send him an answer: "If that's your idea of friendship, I have no need for it. I'll make it easy for you. I break off all contact permanently. Pity it has to end this way, but this seems to be what you want. So be it." It hurt to make it so short and cold. It hurt(s) to do it at all, but I had to do it for self preservation. I can handle a lot from people I love, I accept a lot, but there are limits. People must go very far to reach them, but he did. It's over, irreversibly. But damn it, it hurts like hell!

I could give you gossip, slander or do some mudslinging and backbiting. I won't. That's not the person I am. I can't hate him (yet?). I hope he is happy. Might sound strange or misplaced but I mean it...

Seidr themeday about divination

2011-02-27T20:38:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I attended a seidr-themed workshop about divination / oracle "under the mantle" with Linda Wormhoudt in Amsterdam. It was a very interesting day. Linda told us a lot about the methods of divination used in Northwestern Europe. It is too much to share it all, but I'll let you take a peek. :-)

For example, Útiseta/útisetta literally means "sitting outside" and 'sitja á haugi' means "sitting on a burial mound". The practitioner or 'vala' retreated to a place in nature, covered herself with a mantle, blanket or animal skin and just sat there. Singing and praying she tried to get into contact with the dead (ancestors) to seek information and/or advice. Unknown how long exactly, she just came back when she had an answer.

We tried it ourselves. At first I didn't feel comfortable at all covering myself. I struggled to find the right position for me. Then suddenly I found it and I surrendered myself. I had gone in with a question and almost immediately I got answers, or at least tips / clues. I can't really ecplain, you have to experience it!

Sitting "under the mantle" I encountered an unexpected 'guest'. Next to me a polar bear showed up and offered to be my power animal. He said I needed him in this time of my life and he'd be happy to help me. Wow, I didn't really know what to say... I never heard of someone getting a power animal this way, but of course I'm honoured. I've always been fascinated by bears and a polar bear is really special. I don't know what it stands for exactly, but I'll look it up later. For a moment I saw myself walking with a female black panther on one side and a male polar bear on the other. Magnificent, I'm privileged!

After lunch we did some other experiments and exercises with other methods of Nordic divination. At the end of the day I was exhausted, but it was well worth it!

Cat-Library™

2011-02-22T14:41:00.001+01:00

If I had enough space I'd love this, and my cats would too! :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T15:03:00.000+01:00

Ron and I never really do something special for Valentine's Day. It's nice to celebrate love, but you should do that every day of the year! It has become a very commercial day: 'buy her this', 'buy him that', etc. I don't want anyone to buy me flowers too. Don't get me wrong... I love flowers, but alive in nature where they belong! They don't have to slowly die for me in a vase, that just makes me sad. Ron gets me presents quite often, so I really don't mind if he forgets all about this Valentine's Day.

Having said all that..... Sometimes you have to set aside your principles and surprise your loved one with an unexpected move... So tonight we are going out for a Valentine's Dinner Date that I secretly booked two weeks ago! He was surprised indeed when he opened the card I made with the image above (Love is... going out for dinner together).

Happy 12th Birthday, Foofur!

2011-02-12T12:26:00.001+01:00

Today is Foofur's 12th birthday. In his honour I made a slideshow with some random pics of my little friend. It seems like yesterday that we met in the pet shelter where I volunteered. It was love on first sight for both of us. He sat on my hand, can you believe it? I have pics of when he was little, but they are analog and I've got no idea where they are. So for now the digital pics will have to do!

Happy Birthday, Foofur!

Blessed Imbolc

2011-02-01T23:41:00.003+01:00

Brighid's Well in Kildare, Ireland

Imbolc is the feast of Brighid. The Irish goddess Brighid is the keeper of the sacred flame, the guardian of home and hearth. To honour her, purification and cleaning are a wonderful way to get ready for the coming of Spring. That means cleaning your house, but don't forget yourself! Meditate on what you would like to see grow in health and strength this year (for yourself, your family, friends, nature, Earth) and ask for Brighid's blessing upon it.
In addition to fire, Brighid is a goddess connected to inspiration and creativity. You can make your own Brighid’s cross(es) and hang them near doors and windows to protect home and hearth, or in the kitchen where her influence can bless your food.

My plan was to celebrate Imbolc with my coven, but unfortunately that had to be cancelled. I had made preparations for the ritual, so I'll just have to adapt those to do it by myself tomorrow. I have also found a wonderful guided meditation, an inner journey to meet Brighid. I have started a major personal 'purification' and I'd love her blessing upon it! I'll honour her with a Brighid's cross and by making slemp, an old Dutch milk drink.

Did you celebrate Imbolc, or are you going to?

May Brighid's fire light your path

and her blessings be upon your home & hearth!

Edit Febr. 2: Pictures of my slemp, Brighid cross and doll can be found in my Facebook album "Pagan Stuff".

Update

2011-01-18T15:10:00.000+01:00

A few weeks into the new year, everything back to normal. You asked me how I'm doing. Well, I feel fine! I really think it was the right time to quit taking antidepressants. The first weeks I felt a bit weird, like I had a big fog inside my head. Slowly the fog faded away. The most significant change are my feelings. I got to know peaks again, up and down. My feelings are more intense. I laughed out loud, cried a river and got really mad! When I was having my period last week people around me suffered from my temper. :) In the beginning it was all a bit too much, but I already feel a balance coming. It feels good to feel real again. It doesn't feel strange at all, it feels very familiar. The old me is waking up and I welcome her back with open arms!

I also started working on my weight again. I don't diet, I pay more attention to my food intake and regularity. Everything is allowed, but in moderation. The first week went very well and the reward was huge: I lost 7 kg (15,4lbs)! Of course that was a bit much and a lot of water, but still nice. The second week I got my period and gained 0,5 kg. Ah well, the average is still good. ;-) I have to (want to) persevere anyway, because I have quite some weight to lose. I don't have a goal weight, more a goal size. I'd like to have size 44 (Dutch size, equals UK-size 18, US-size 16) again, so I can buy clothes in common stores. A long way to go, wish me luck...

Last post of 2010!

2010-12-31T20:37:00.001+01:00

The last weeks I haven't been posting much. Don't worry, I'm still here! I've been busy with some major issues in my life. I won't beat around the bush... In a very sneaky way the eating disorder monster found its way back into my life. I hate to admit it, but it's true. Good news is I'm fighting back with all I've got! It is hard, but I'm more determined than ever to get rid of it once and for all...
Another big decision: I decided to try a life without anti depressants. They've helped me in the past and I'm glad they did. After I forgot them for a week (yes, really forgot!) and didn't even really notice it I decided to give it a go. So you see... major issues...

This morning I walked a labyrinth on a foggy beach and it was magical! The fog in my head is slowly clearing away. It will take some time until the ad remainders left my body completely. I asked some guidance in the labyrinth.The answer was clear enough: have faith! So that's my intention for 2011...

To all of you: blessings and all the best for 2011. May your best day of 2010 be your worst in 2011! :)

For Ron

2010-12-14T02:18:00.002+01:00

Our love started off on rocky ground

But together we stood tall

Because the love we found

Can really conquer all!

If it wasn’t for you

I wouldn’t be here

The reverse is also true

We just need each other near

Together we are strong

Two halves of one heart

Friends, lovers, soul mates all along

A bond never to fall apart

All the words in all the books can not describe my love for you

So it will take all of my life and more to prove you that it’s true

~*~*~*~

Today is our wedding anniversary, we got married 15 years ago. We are together for 24 years though. I remember that beautiful day back in 1995. Very cliche perhaps, but it really was the happiest day of my life...

Each day I love you more

I love you more than I did yesterday

But less than I will do tomorrow

Forever!

BBC Booklist

2010-12-06T16:43:00.000+01:00

I encountered this list again (on Facebook) and finally decided to see how I did and post about it. :)

So the BBC (anno 2003) believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. Bold the ones you've read, and italicize the ones you've read parts of but didn't finish.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (my all-time favourite book!)
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Bible (Roman Catholic school and upbringing)
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Complete Works of Shakespeare (yep, all of it!)
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Middlemarch - George Eliot
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Emma -Jane Austen
Persuasion - Jane Austen
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
Animal Farm - George Orwell
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Atonement - Ian McEwan
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Dune - Frank Herbert
Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
On The Road - Jack Kerouac
Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
Dracula - Bram Stoker
The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
Ulysses - James Joyce
The Inferno - Dante
Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
Germinal - Emile Zola
Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession - AS Byatt
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (still read it every year)
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Color Purple - Alice Walker
The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
Watership Down - Richard Adams (love it!)
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
Hamlet - William Shakespeare
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Not 100 because in the original list there were several Harry Potter books, now it's one. The winner was The Lord Of The Rings and I couldn't agree more!

Wow, I got 70 out of 98! I didn't read all of them in English, but also in Dutch of course. I always try to read a book in the original language if possible (mostly English, some German and French).

How did you do??

Disneyland Paris

2010-12-04T23:50:00.001+01:00

Thursday Ron, Joke and I returned from a 4-day/3-night stay in Disneyland Paris. We had a fabulous time! Because of the snow and x-mas decorations it was a true winter wonderland. So beautiful... We stayed in the Santa Fe Hotel in a simple but well-equipped room with double beds, decorated in Cars-style. A shuttlebus service was available to go to the parks.

The first day we left early, because it was a 500 km (310 mi) drive. When we arrived we moved into the room, unpacked and rested for a while. We decided to take the bus to the parks to look around a bit. Joke had been there before with Leo, so she knew where to go. The parks were covered with snow. Around 5pm the Once Upon a Dream Parade started, my absolute favourite thing to do (watch). Main Street looked wonderful. A few times my eyes filled with tears of sheer happiness. Finally there, as I've always wanted ever since the opening in 1992... My inner child enjoyed herself to her heart's content!

After an early night and deep sleep we had an early breakfast, so we could leave for the parks early too. Guests of the Disney hotels are allowed early access before opening hour. The first thing we did was Space Mountain. Holy moly, that was quite a ride! I loved it, although I was a bit unstable when I got out. Some attractions were closed because of the weather and/or refurbishing. We did all we could and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. From thrills to wonderful attractions like "It's a Small World" and "Peter Pan's Flight". It was very tiring but I walked on adrenalin! We never had long waiting times; that's the benefit of going on weekdays outside holidays. For dinner we had booked the Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Great entertainment and the food was good (except for the cold potatoes).

Wednesday we 'did' the Walt Disney Studios Park. That one is smaller but also great in a different way.The absolute tophit was The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror! Woohoo! Inside it looked spooky and the ride was awesome. The Moteurs... Action! Stunt Show Spectacular was abridged because of the snow, but still spectacular. It was very cold on the grandstand, so after the show we had some hot chocolate and went into the theatre to get warm again. When we had seen what we wanted, we walked to the other park again to shop and of course watch the Parade again. I bought and got some wonderful Tink-stuff! We had dinner in The Steakhouse about which I can be brief: a big disappointment, not something I'd recommend. But we didn't let that spoil our fun too much! We returned to the hotel, very tired (and Ron with painful knees) but very satisfied after another great day.

Thursday we decided to skip the parks and drive home early because the weather forecast was bad. The homeward journey was long. In France and Belgium it wasn't that bad, but in the Netherlands we fell into an early traffic rush hour. We were home around 6pm. First we picked up the dogs at Ron's sister; they were so happy to see us! I had missed them a lot, and the cats too. We ordered dinner in and talked about our adventures. What an experience, what an amazing time...

A selection of our (800+) photos are in my Facebook album "Eurodisney December 2010".

Catching up

2010-11-28T21:17:00.000+01:00

The last few weeks have been very busy. First Ron had a very nasty flu. Just when he was recovering he got an acute cystitis, which is very painful especially for a man. On top of that his knees are aching again. In between all of that Ron is working hard to get his own business going.

A friend invited Ron and me to celebrate Samhain with a group we know from a pagan forum and former meetings. First it wasn't possible because I had a ritual planned with my coven on Saturdaynight, but that was delayed. In the evening we did a beautiful ritual and afterwards there was a Halloween party in the big hall. Everything was decrated and looked great. I wore a Caspar the Friendly Ghost mask and a witches' hat. Ron stayed up late, but I went to bed earlier because I was very tired.

November 16th I went to the first viewing of the Take That documentary "Look Back Don't Stare" in Theater Tuschinski in Amsterdam. It's about Rob's return to the boy... eh... manband. I had won tickets! If you're interested in Ron and Take That I can recommend it. At times I was surprised there eventually came a cd. :) I understand why Rob has so much fun being back with the boys. If this is the way for him I'm okay with it. I already bought a ticket for the concert in the Amsterdam Arena on July 18th next year and I'm looking forward to it!

Last weekend I spent another weekend in a yurt with the Lowland Systers. This time it wasn't as cold as early this year. We had a wonderful time! The first day we used to catch up with each other and make plans for the weekend. Saturday we slept in. I woke up at half past 10! The last weeks had asked a lot of my energy, so I had to use the weekend to recharge my battery. In the afternoon we did some magical groupwork and when it was dark we walked into the woods to do our ritual. We found a stump that was perfect to use as an altar. Afterwards we had dinner in the yurt. It's such a great accomodation! It has a lovely atmosphere, especially by candlelight. Sunday morning we packed our bags and said our goodbyes. We already have plans to return there next year. :) You can see my pics in my Facebook album "Yurt 2".

Farewell to Bagheera

2010-11-23T16:57:00.001+01:00

In 2008 I introduced Bagheera the black panther (leopard) to you in this blogpost. I adopted her through Big Cat Rescue. Now it's time to say goodbye....

BAGHEERA
born: March 1, 1989
died: November 10, 2010

She lived far longer than most of her kind do, but that doesn't make it easier to let her go... I cried... I really loved her from afar...

Bagheera came to Big Cat Rescue from Oklahoma on May 27, 1995 with Adonnis, another black leopard. They were both declawed and being kept as pets. Their owners then moved and didn't have room for either of them at their new location.
Adonnis and Bagheera, the two roommates, were able to spend their days together in a very large cat-a-tat built especially for them as a contest prize won by Julie Hanan, a Big Cat Rescue volunteer. They were located in an area of the sanctuary that isn’t accessible to all volunteers or guests.

A slideshow was also created when they were re-introduced and began life together again in their new, larger cat-a-tat. That can be viewed here. The video below will give you an opportunity to see just how playful and affectionate they were with each other.

Sadly, Bagheera was left without Adonnis when he passed away on January 13, 2010. Her health continued to fail and the people at Big Cat Rescue said a tearful goodbye to her as she joined Adonnis over the rainbow bridge, finally free, after living 21 years in captivity.

text by Big Cat Rescue

Please support Big Cat Rescue if you can, they do GREAT work! Every donation helps! They are also on Facebook, Twitter and other networking websites.

Blogblast for peace 2010

2010-11-04T13:51:00.001+01:00

Today I'm joining hundreds of bloggers across the world in a movement called "Blogblast For Peace". Bloggers will unite in a global cry for peace in this annual event. One day. One voice. All it takes is one post. Won't you join us?

This is the third time I'm participating in Blogblast for Peace. I chose quotes that emphasize that peace on earth starts with peace within. The dove doesn't need explanation, and the Tink in outline is my personal touch. I hope you like it!

Blogblast for Peace links
BFP website
info on Mimi's blog
eventpage on Facebook
fanpage on Facebook

Finally found!

2010-10-22T19:59:00.000+02:00

I finally found my black panther statue! After years of looking, searching, asking... The black panther is my power animal or totem for as long as I can remember. I really wanted a nice statue, but most I found showed an angry panther, often with open mouth. I know they are predators, but still I was looking for something else. A few weeks ago I was surfing the web when I encountered BlackPantherAnimals.com. Wow, a paradise for black panther fans like me (they also have other animals though). After some consideration I decided to buy Black Panther On Rock and Tiny One. The postage costs startled me as always from the USA to here, but I really wanted to have this. Now that I found her, I couldn't let go... I'm very happy!
Bastet shows you how big it is:

O what a day...

2010-09-28T23:50:00.004+02:00

This morning I did a guest lesson for staff nurses about eating disorders. It's one of the things I do to help others with my experience. It was part of a special information day in a mental health care institution. I tell about my own experiences and discuss with the audience (this time nurses, but it can be any audience). When they are social workers I try to make them see that patients are individual persons that need an individual approach. They aren't cases that need to be treated according to protocol. Of course treatment protocols are necessary, but I try to make them think outside the box. I give them a view from the other side. As usual the response was positive, they were thankful for my input. I believe I gave them something to think about and that's exactly what I want to achieve.

When I wanted to go home afterwards I encountered a problem. A car had parked so stupidly that I couldn't get out of my space. I tried to get out by direction of someone that tried to help, but it couldn't be done. I was stuck between a lamppost, a tree and that car. The personnel was very kind and tried to help me in every way they could. I called Ron and he got the name of the owner through the car dealer. Unfortunately that wasn't someone known there. After two hours I called the police, but they said they couldn't help me as I was on private property. Eventually two people from the local parking management team came. They weren't allowed to tow away the car either, but they managed to get my car a few inches sideways with a drag-rope on my tow bar. That way I could finally drive away. After three hours I was on my way home. I was pissed and worn out, but thankful for the help and happy to go home at last. Quite the adventure...

Birthday and other things

2010-09-21T12:40:00.002+02:00

Time to catch up... My birthday was good. Yes, there were tears for Leo, but that was okay. I gave his picture a prominent place in the room. For Joke it was a sad day too of course, but she came early and I think she had a good time with all the guests. It beats sitting home alone and crying I hope.

I was happy to share both the sadness and the joy with my friends and family. It was busy, but not too much. I had asked money because I wanted to save for a good speedbike. Although I also got some lovely presents I had enough money to buy the bike I wanted. Yesterday we went to get it. Ron assembled it right away. I tried it for a while, but I'm still a bit weak. Last week I had a nasty cold, flu, virus or whatever it was. I feel a lot better, but it goes away slowly. Unfortunately I infected Ron, so now it's his turn to feel lousy and my turn to play nurse.

Last Saturday I had a wonderful get-together on the Veluwe. I was invited to an early Mabon ritual. The Lowland Systers and my coven were invited, so I saw quite a few familiar faces. I also got to know some other lovely women and a man. It was an eclectic group that went very well together. It felt warm, welcoming and strong. The ritual was beautiful. The surroundings were lit by candles. The weather had been very wet last week but we had dry weather with open skies and a gorgeous moon looking down on us. Magical... I was home very late and very tired, but it was worth it for sure!

Firsts

2010-09-03T22:21:00.000+02:00

Today is my sister's birthday. The first time without Leo. She didn't celebrate her birthday, but of course I went to see her. She was very emotional, and so was I. Because Leo had his birthday only a few weeks later, they mostly celebrated the two birthdays together on Leo's in October. Last year Joke celebrated her own birthday. The last with Leo, as if it had to be that way. He was surrounded by friends and family, although we didn't know it was the last time...

This week my old "auntie" Rie died suddenly in her home; she was almost 81. She wasn't really an aunt, but the mother of my brother's childhood friend and their family became friends with mine. Through the years she was always there; sometimes every week, sometimes a few times a year. Modern, spontaneous, optimistic, loving... She was a wonderful woman and will be missed dearly by many. Today I got the announcement in the post. On top was a rainbow and the translations of the first lines of "Look for me in rainbows" by Vicky Brown, which was one of the songs on my mother's cremation. Again, tears...

Next Wednesday I'll have my birthday. It will be an ambivalent day. I will have a party, but it will also be exactly a year ago that Leo so unexpectedly died. I can't help but thinking about it. I know he would want me to celebrate my birthday as always. I'll try, but this first time it won't be completely 'as always' and in a way it will never be. I think about him every day and miss him, but certain days are significant whether we like it or not. Nevertheless, life goes on and so must we... I know I won't keep it dry next week though.

These 'firsts' are difficult. It will get 'easier', the raw pain and grief will soften. I know. Still, I hate these 'firsts'!

Awards

2010-09-01T17:51:00.001+02:00

The 2010 Top Paganism Blog Awards are organised by Online PhD Programs and BestBloggers. Awards candidates are selected using audience nominations. The list of nominations is then filtered through to produce a list of award candidates. Each blog on this list is then scored by a panel of 5 judges. Each judge rates each blog across 20 different attributes providing it with a ‘subjective’ score. These ratings are combined into an aggregate, and the aggregates of the 5 judges are averaged to give the blog its final rating. The ratings are then compared, and awards are given out to blogs in the 99% percentile (meaning the top 1% of blogs receive awards). The award winners for the paganism category were announced on August 17, 2010. I was surprised but very honoured to hear ~*~Tinkerbell~*~ is one of the top 35 paganism blogs! There are very interesting other blogs on the list too; I'm using the list to explore new blogs.
Thanks for nominating me!!

~*~*~*~

Greenwheel from Green Witch Ways has bestowed upon me an award for a blog with substance! See her post here. Wow, thank you! I am flattered and again very honoured.

The rules for the award are :
1. Thank the blogger that gave you the award -
Thank you GreenWheel! Your blog does definitely deserve the award too!
2. Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, experience, using 10 words. -
Pfew, only 10? Sorry, no can do...
• no obligations (write whenever I want & whatever I want)
• personal (it's not an info only blog, but a personal account)
• pagan (I'm pagan so my blog is pagan)
• interesting (I write for myself, but I hope others find it interesting too)
• etc.... fill in your own idea about my blog
3. Pass the award on to 10 other blogs you feel have substance. -
Let's see how far I get:..
• Lyn at Witch Blog
• Suzie at Suzie Ridler
• Dori at From A Yellow House In England
• Lily at Irresistible Secrets
• Renny at RennyBA's Terella
• Vixen at Vixen's Den
Visit them, they deserve it! :-)

Castlefest and handfasting

2010-08-20T17:48:00.001+02:00

(I've written this post more than 10 days ago, but forgot to hit "post" I think..??)

Last Saturday Ron and I went to Castlefest, a medieval/fantasy/pagan/steampunk festival in Lisse. There were a lot of market stalls, artists, musicians and other entertainment. It's a huge piece of land, so we first made a round to see everything. Most people are dressed up medieval, pagan, etc. My friend Krissy had made a beautiful blue gown for me. I had used some make-up (which I rarely do) and I really felt pretty. People even said I was radiating! With Krissy I bought a corset to wear over the dress. I always thought that made me look fat, but it didn't; it showed my... ehm... assets so to say! ;-) I also bought a beautiful black (matt) saucer with a spiral in it.

This time there was an extra reason to visit Castlefest. We were invited to attend the handfasting of two friends. They had asked Ron to take pictures. The ceremony was really beautiful. They were very nervous. They are together for 12 years and this was a wonderful confirmation of their special bond. It brought tears to my eyes, and I wasn't the only one! You can see the pictures in this album, but please note they are private and not for other use!

Congratulations to Rob & Ayda!

2010-08-08T13:52:00.015+02:00

Rob and Ayda got married yesterday at his LA mansion. They planned to marry somewhere else, but some stupid guest couldn't keep his/her mouth shut and leaked to the press. I hope they had a wonderful wedding, the most beautiful day of their lifes, that they'll look back at for years to come. I'm so glad for Rob he finally found the love of his life and Ayda is one lucky lady! ;-) I wish them all the best and a lot of privacy away from the paparazzi!

About Rob re-joining Take That... I'm still not decided about the reunion. For Rob it seems to be what he wants, so then basically it's fine with me. But he is so much more than Take That and I'm afraid we'll miss a lot of that... I never really was a huge TT-fan, so maybe that plays a part too. I like Take That, I love Robbie Williams; that's the difference.

Back from Lier

2010-07-27T23:28:00.000+02:00

We're back from a two weeks vacation in Lier, Belgium. We stayed at a private paradise of friends in the middle of nature and had a great time. The weather was very hot, but we also had some cooler (well, less hot...) days with an occasional shower. This was our third year there, but it will never become boring.

The dogs had a great time too, living outdoors most of the time. Foofur knew it, but it was Arwen's first time there. She enjoyed it fully, and so did Foof! Running free, rolling in the grass, dozing in the sun... On our walks along the river Nete they met horses, donkeys, cows, rabbits, birds... Arwen went swimming in the river. I panicked a bit when she went into the flow, but she is a great swimmer. She dawdled to come back. :)

We buried Boris' ashes on a partly hidden spot on the property. He enjoyed it there sooo much and it was the last place where he was happy. We made a circle of stones to mark it. He's at a good place. We buried his ashes, but Boris will always live in our hearts.

We visited the famous Zimmer Tower in Lier for the first time. Of course we had made pics before on the outside, but we decided to do the complete tour and it was very interesting! We also did some shopping and sightseeing. Lier is a beautiful old city.

We like flea markets and the like a lot. It is always nice to visit one outside our own area. In Belgium we visited one jumble sale around a church and two huge car boot sales. Our last full vacation day was the Belgian National Holiday, so we could choose which one to visit!

There was a lot of chamomile in the meadows nearby, so Ron sneaked behind the fences and picked a big bunch (see picture on top of this post). I infused the chamomile flowers in oil and put it in the sun. It's sitting in the kitchen windowsill at home now.

All in all we had a wonderful time, our batteries are recharged!

Comment moderation

2010-07-17T11:13:00.000+02:00

Much to my regret I have just changed my settings to moderate all comments on my blog. I don't like it (at all!), but lately the spam comments with hazardous links are numerous. I delete them as soon as I spot them, but it doesn't help. I hope moderating will keep them away. If you have other tips, feel free to share!

Please don't let it stop you from commenting; your comments are always very welcome!

The Complete Walt Disney World 2010

2010-07-06T16:34:00.001+02:00

No, I haven't been to Disney World. I wish! I'm afraid our budget doesn't allow it at the moment, but I'm sure we will one day. We will definitely take this book with us!

Recently I joined NetGalley, an inexpensive and green way for publishers to share their digital galleys securely. Professional readers (reviewers, media, bloggers, journalists, librarians, booksellers and educators) can all use NetGalley for free to read and request galleys they want to review. The review is totally independent, so you can be honest if you don't like the book too. There are categories to choose from and other search options. There's a wide range of galleys available. I downloaded Adobe Digital Editions (also free) to read the books, but most publishers also have files for a Kindle. I had to get used to reading on the computer, but with the laptop it's okay. I'd love to have an e-reader though, or even better: an iPad.

The first book I requested was "The Complete Walt Disney World 2010", the only independent Disney guide ever honoured by the Walt Disney Company. It's the winner of Disney's iParenting Media Award for Outstanding Family Product. Other honours include Travel Guide of the Year and Nonfiction Book of the Year. That sounds very promising, but of course I had to see it for myself.

I browsed the pages first to get an overall impression. Then I dived in and read articles and reviews, watched gorgeous pictures, etc. The guide can help you to organise your visit beforehand with all info you can think of. When there it can help you find your way. It is easy accessible and easy to find anything you want or need. For me it was easy to imagine I was there. I like to travel by book or internet and this is a great book to do just that. I went for rides, visited Epcot, booked a beautiful room and located Tinker Bell (who else? *lol*). It provided me with lots of pleasure.
So if you think about visiting, already planned to go or want to take a virtual tour like I did... this is the guide you need!

Happy Birthday, Arwen!

2010-06-29T12:47:00.002+02:00

Arwen is 1 year old today! Happy Birthday, sweetie! Unbelievable how fast this year has gone by. I remember holding her for the first time. So small, smaller than Foofur, but with those huge paws. She's grown into the size of her paws now. Still cute, still a puppy, full of misschief though, playful and happy. I can write about her for pages and pages long, but I'll let the pictures speak. Look at her first year in pictures on Facebook or Hyves (same pics, resp. English and Dutch comments). Enjoy!

Litha and more

2010-06-27T21:06:00.000+02:00

Last Monday I had a very special Litha celebration with my coven. I really feel welcome there. I like them and I think they like me. :) Anyway, I have found my path back again. I feel at ease and confident about it. I can't share everything here. That's a pity, but that's just the way it is. I'll still share whatever I can.

Last year after I left the Temple of Ara I really felt bad, out of balance and lost. Now I can see it as something in the past. Phyllis Curott will always be dear to me and I've learned great things while working with her. I'm proud to have had her as a teacher. And a terrific part of the legacy is a group of wonderful women to work with, the Lowland Systers.

This is the robe I made for the Litha celebration. As you know I'm not a sewing-star (that's a huge understatement...) so I had help from Wonder and Ron. I have two belts: one straight and one braided (what a work!). The fabric (100% cotton) was white originally, but I decided to dye it. A bit of a gamble, but it turned out just the way I hoped it would! I bought the shawl some time ago and the colour fit perfectly.

And the winner is...

2010-06-22T23:29:00.000+02:00

Mike, you've just won a free copy of 'Learning To Stand'! Congratulations! Please e-mail me your home address, so Claudia can send you your prize. Enjoy!

Learning To Stand

2010-06-17T12:18:00.002+02:00

Last year I let Claudia Hall Christian hijack my blog to promote her fabulous novel The Fey (see blogpost). Now it's time to let you know about the second novel in this series: Learning To Stand. I read it a few weeks ago. I was really looking forward to see how Alex' story would continue and I wasn't disappointed in any way. If you liked The Fey, you'll like Learning To Stand. I love both!

After all Alex Hargreaves has been through everyone expects her to move on. That's not as easy as they make it sound though... Alex struggles to get back on her feet. Meanwhile the world around her doesn't stand still. Things happen around her and she has to get herself together. She's the only chance of survival for a little kid. With the courage of despair she leads her team into a very dangerous encounter.

The book grabbed me and I couldn't lay it down. Page after page I wanted to read to know what would happen next. Indeed, a page-turner par excellence. Interested? Claudia is offering you a 20% discount on all of her books. Use discount code "BLOGTOUR" in her Create Space store. Learning To Stand is also available at Amazon, but it's not possible to offer the discount there.

But it gets even better! If you comment on this blog post you are automatically entered to win a FREE copy of Learning To Stand. I will wait until the beginning of next week to give you some time. Just like last year I'll put the names of the commenters on little papers and pick one blindly, so... take your chance and leave a comment!
Claudia will be checking in and answer your questions.

Some links to visit:
On A Limb With Claudia - Claudia's blog
Stories by Claudia
AlexTheFey - home of the Alex the Fey thriller series
Denver Cereal - serial fiction by Claudia

Herbal fun again

2010-06-12T21:13:00.001+02:00

Today I made a wonderful walk in the dunes with Foofur & Arwen. While they were walking around me I picked some red poppy (papaver rhoeas), not the opium poppy: that's papaver somniferum. Back home I put them in alcohol, oil and hot water (separately). Internally poppy helps against coughs, throat aches, hemorrhage, nervousness and insomnia. In external application it has a soothing and moisturising effect on the skin.

I love my herbal experiments. I have made quite a few. At the moment this is my window sill in the kitchen:

From left to right: herbal vinegar, lemon balm oil infusion, poppy tincture, echinacea root tincture, rosemary oil infusion, poppy oil infusion, valerian root tincture and poppy water infusion. On the far right is water with gemstones.

Ceramic art

2010-06-06T15:00:00.001+02:00

Some time ago I noticed a picture on Flickr by Suzie Ridler that showed a lovely ceramic bowl. I did some searching and ended up at Etsy. De Baun Fine Ceramics sells beautiful handcrafted bowls, incense burners and more. They have all been created by artist Diane De Baun. She has been working with clay since the early 80’s. Her websites are full of wonderful ceramic art, so it was hard to choose! After a while I had narrowed down my list to two bowls. I couldn't decide, so I just ordered both! Last week they arrived and I love them! The left one with cats and triple moon is 4 inches in diameter, the right one 4 1/2. I've put them on my altar.

Do you want to shop for yourself? Here are the links:
De Baun Fine Ceramics - website
De Baun Fine Ceramics - Etsy Store

Busy(ness)

2010-06-02T23:36:00.000+02:00

The last months have been tough. Ron officially lost his job on May 1st. We knew that beforehand, so we acted early to get all the paperwork and applications done in time. To cut a long story short: we did the right thing but the social security authority made a mess of it and sent us from pillar to post. I'll spare you the details, but it was very frustrating. We've had quite some weeks... Both depressed and desperate, but somewhere deep within determined to overcome this. And it looks like we are finally on a winning streak. We aren't there yet, not by a long shot, but I'm moderately positive.

Despite his qualifications and experience it isn't easy for Ron to find another job, because he is too old at 45. Unbelievable, isn't it? He had to think about what he would want to do first. That took a while to figure out. Some time ago we talked with my brother and he suggested that Ron would start his own business. Ron worked out the idea and we did some research. The social security authority agrees the plan is good enough to give it a try! So now we are at the beginning of a new path. It will take time to bring it about, but that's okay. At least we can work towards a positive future again!

Herbal Healing Salve

2010-05-13T20:29:00.000+02:00

Ever since I joined HerbMentor, I've been trying out stuff. I made a nettle infusion and started with an echinacea tincture. Today I made a herbal healing salve with comfrey, plantain, calendula and St. John's Wort. I made a slideshow of the process:

The pictures of the infusion, tincture so far and the salve are also in my Flickr-album "Herbal Stuff".

10th PFI Conference Netherlands

2010-05-10T14:36:00.120+02:00

Last Saturday I went to the 10th PFI Conference in Lunteren. I left home early to be in time for the opening ritual. At arrival I already met a lot of friends and other acquaintances and that went on throughout the day. It's a great opportunity to meet people!

The opening ritual was performed by Frigga Asraaf and Michiel from the Asatru network Het Rad. Central in the ritual stood three branches that represented the PFI Netherlands: one for Lady Bara (National Coordinator PFI and organizer of the Conference), one for Morgana (International Coordinator PFI) and one for the PFI in general. We all brought ribbons to decorate the branches. I hung mine in Lady Bara's branch. The result was placed in a special place during the day.

All day workshops were given in different rooms in the building; sometimes it was very hard to make a choice! Workshops I attended:
*** The Wild Hunt by Gardenstone (lecture with music and pictures)
*** Powersongs by Frigga Asraaf & Michiel (singing powersongs together)
*** Feeling the energy of the landscape by Linda Wormhoudt (info, experiencing, trance journey)
*** Polarity in Wicca by Boann & Dagda Segais (Gardnerian HPS & HP guided us in connecting with the Goddess and God)
I enjoyed them all very much: interesting and fun to do!

In between the workshops I had time to explore all the stalls. I restrained myself and only bought 2 books and some beautiful cards. From Frigga Asraaf I bought her book "Asatru - een naslagwerk" (Asatru - a reference book), one of the most extensive Dutch books on asatru. At the table of bookshop De Wijze Kater I bought The Wicca Herbal by Jamie Wood.

In the closing ritual the branches for Lady Bara and Morgana were given to them. Then it was time for dinner: a delicious Indonesian buffet. Very yummy!!! Around 8PM The Lowland Paddies started playing in the big room. Great music and very good to dance. There had been a balfolk workshop in the afternoon and this was the perfect moment to get some exercise. I enjoyed watching! :)
Around 10PM I said my goodbyes. I dropped two friends in Amsterdam and drove home.

Witches Cafe Haarlem

2010-05-07T19:12:00.001+02:00

Yesterday I've been to the Witches Cafe in Haarlem for the first time. It is organised by George and Sander of Mandragora in De Groene Godin, a lovely little shop I got to know a few weeks ago by doing a workshop there. It is a nice place with great ambience.

This month Jungian therapist Annemarie Peters held a short presentation about her book "Dochters van de Maan" (Daughters of the Moon). In the book she shows the link between women's monthly cycles and the moon. She told us about how the book came to life, shared the essence of the book and did a wonderful guided visualisation with us. Very interesting! In between and afterwards I chatted with Annemarie and the other visitors while we enjoyed herbal tea and yummy cake. A wonderful evening that bears repetition!

Numen, the nature of plants

2010-05-04T18:04:00.001+02:00

Today I watched an excellent documentary: Numen, The Nature Of Plants. It was an exclusive screening for HerbMentor-members. Numen (defined as the animating force in nature) is a 95-minute documentary film focusing on the healing power of plants and the natural world. It is for herbalists, gardeners, medical practitioners, plant lovers - and everyone concerned about human and environmental health.

The film is built around interviews with a series of experts and individuals that in turn share their opinion about a lot of topics. In between they show beautiful footage of medicinal plants. That works very good. It is educating, moving, awakening, inspiring, compelling, and so much more. I can really recommend it to everyone!

Here's a 10 minute preview, enjoy!

Beltane Blessings

2010-05-01T12:58:00.001+02:00

Have a wonderful Beltane!!!

(Samhain Blessings to my pagan friends in the Southern hemisphere)

The leaves are budding across the land

on the ash and oak and hawthorn trees.

Magic rises around us in the forest

and the hedges are filled with laughter and love.

Dear lady, we offer you a gift,

a gathering of flowers picked by our hands,

woven into the circle of endless life.

The bright colors of nature herself

blend together to honor you,

Queen of spring,

as we give you honor this day.

Spring is here and the land is fertile,

ready to offer up gifts in your name.

we pay you tribute, our lady,

daughter of the Fae,

and ask your blessing this Beltane.

Elf Fantasy Fair 2010

2010-04-27T17:34:00.002+02:00

Elf Fantasy Fair 2010

Last Saturday Ron and I went to the Elf Fantasy Fair in Haarzuilens, a fantasy event for pagans, fantasylovers and everyone else. On the grounds of Castle De Haar around 25,000 people come together to enjoy medieval music, dancing, lectures, theatre plays, sales booths and parades.
The entrance was badly organised. We arrived around 10am, but stood in line for almost two hours!!

We met a lot of our friends there. I ran into Kit Berry and her husband again; she's the author of the Stonewylde book series. One of my favourite artists was present too: Josephine Wall! I love her paintings, but forgot to bring my book to let her sign it.
The entertainment was good as always. We listened twice to stories told by Donderelf. Bifi from Greenthingz was crowned Queen of Elfia. There was LARP-play, re-enactment, music and so much more.
In the evening we went home. The fair was open until 10pm, but we were pooped! It was a lovely day, we enjoyed ourselves very much.

(click on the picture above to see our pictures in a webalbum)
(more pictures here)

Ron entered the Elf Fantasy images contest.
Please vote for his pictures:
1: Aandacht
2: Donderelf
3: Elfenbankje

I'm back!

2010-04-22T19:19:00.001+02:00

Wow, it has been looooooong since I posted a blog. The reason..? Hmmm. The easiest answer would be "I'm busy", but that's not all true. I often thought about posting, but it just didn't end up here. Ah well, whatever the reason... I'm here! :-)
I have been doing some things during the 'silent time' that are worth mentioning; here are some (not in any particular order).

April 10th I attended a workshop with Linda Wormhoudt about Seidr. She has written a great book about it: "Seidr, het Noordse pad", so I was looking forward to learn more. We were asked to bring our staff or another stick, as the theme of the day was to work with the staff and with energyfields. Apart for some theory it was a lot of action; not hearing about it, but trying it ourselves. Very interesting and worthwhile!

I discovered a lovely bookshop in Haarlem called De Groene Godin (The Green Goddess). I often shop in Haarlem and I even lived in the city centre long ago, but I didn't know it. It's a little shop with a large table in the back where you can sit, drink tea etc. and workshops are held. I did a workshop there with Mandragora some weeks ago. We made an ointment and a tincture. I learned new things and had a great evening!

I was asked to tell my personal experience story and talk about depression in a theme group of a day-care program in a hospital. I went there twice. The first time I told my story and answered questions; the second time I answered more questions and we discussed it further. The supervisor/counsellor was very content, the group was positive and for me it was another good experience with this work!

The Tuesday before Easter Evert and I went to the Matthäus Passion in Breda. It was a great performance with wonderful soloists. My favourite part are the bass voices and they were very good! In the afternoon we went to 'my tree' in the Mastbos. It had been some time since I could be there. We also visited the burial mounds (around 1700-1000 BC) on De Regte Heide. There are six of them, but a little one in the back caught my attention. It felt very strong. There was a tree nearby and I couldn't resist climbing in it...

More later! :)

Morning Sun

2010-03-06T18:36:00.007+01:00

Robbie Williams has given his new single “Morning Sun” to Sport Relief as their official charity single for 2010. The song will be released on March 8. He said: “I am very happy to donate my time to help Sport Relief and I thank my co writers for doing the same. Please join us in helping this very worthwhile cause”. All of the record company profits and artist royalties from digital single sales of the track in the UK will go to the charity, as will income from the writers and their publishers.
You can donate to Sport Relief by visiting their website.

The music video is directed by Vaughan Arnell, director of classic Robbie videos including Angels, Feel and Bodies. Watch Robbie rocket out of space on an intergalactic voyage through the stars here or here.

How do you rate the morning sun
After a long and sleepless night
How many stars would you give to the moon
Do you see those stars from where you are
Shine on the lost and loneliest
The ones who can’t get over it

And you always wanted more than life
But now you don’t have the appetite
In a message to the troubadour
The world don’t love you anymore
Tell me how do you rate the morning sun

Stuck inside the rainbow years
And you could happen to me
‘Cause I’ve been close to where you are
I drove to places you have seen
It all seems so familiar
Like they’d been sent to kill ya

It doesn’t take an astronaut
To float into space is just a thought
The morning brings a mystery
The evening makes it history
Tell me how do you rate the morning sun

And the village drunk
Sadly passed away
It was a shame
I never knew his name
I wonder if he sat there every morning
And watched the sun rise

How do you rate the morning sun
It was just too heavy for me
And all I wanted was the world
If you are the starlet in the sun
Don’t go wasting your time
‘Cause there is no finish line

And you don’t see anything
Not even love not anything
The night could take the man from you
A sense of wonder overdue
The morning brings a mystery
The evening makes it history
Who am I to rate the morning sun

Written by R. Williams, D. Spencer, K. Andrews, R. Scott, S. Ralph, D. Black

Passport

2010-03-05T13:18:00.004+01:00

Today we finally applied for new passports. They expired in September 2009, but first we didn't have the money (2x €50,90) and then we couldn't find them... They have a fixed place, but somehow weren't there anymore. We searched the house several times, but alas... This week we decided to report them missing. That would have meant extra costs, but we really didn't know where else to look. Before we did inform the police we decided to search one more time. And o wonder... we found them, in Ron's photography bag! At first we wondered why, but suddenly we knew. Ah well, they have been found.

Of course we needed passport photo's. I never like pictures of myself, but the requirements for a passport made it even worse: ears visible, 100% front view, no smile. Ron had to take his glasses off. The photographer made an extra set of 'normal' pictures. Mine are both horrible, on the 'normal' pic I have slit-eyes because he made me laugh. At least Ron's pics are nice. :-)
Since a short time there are fingerprints on the Dutch passports. I thought about ink, the old-fashioned way, but none of that! It worked with a scanner, nice and clean. Next Friday we can pick up our new passports!

Weekend in a yurt

2010-03-03T16:16:00.004+01:00

Two weeks ago the Lowland Systers spent the weekend (Friday to Sunday) in a yurt in Otterlo. There are 5 yurts (or gers as the Mongolian people call them) on a field, and a tipi with electricity where you can cook. In the yurts there is one electric point, no water and a central stove to heat. Like the yurt itself the interior is authentic and made in Mongolia. You can see pictures in my Facebook photoalbum (no need to have a FB-account).

We got together to make a fresh start. We dealt with the Ara-stuff and are moving on. We all are doing our own thing, but we decided to stay together as a group. Ara Lowlands has changed into Lowland Systers. One woman decided to step out and go her own way. We are with 6 women now. This weekend was to reconnect with each other.

We did a beautiful pathworking on Friday evening and a ritual on Saturday night. We did our ritual bading in the hottub in the snow. First we had to remove a thick layer of ice and then heat the tubstove for hours. When we finally got in, the water was still a bit chilly and near the bottom quite cold. We didn't stay in very long, but we did it anyway. Great for teambuilding! :)

Anyway, the weekend was a big success and we had a lot of fun!

Winter Olympics closed

2010-03-01T15:41:00.008+01:00

Wow, what a two weeks we had! I really need to kick the habit. I especially followed the speedskating, which was mostly at an unearthly time for me. Perhaps it's not the wisest thing to go to bed around 2-3AM and later almost every day when you're chronicly fatigued, but it was worth it.
The Netherlands didn't do bad; we are 10th in the medal count:

GOLD Nicolien Sauerbreij - Snowboard - Ladies' Parallel Giant Slalom
GOLD Ireen Wust - Speed Skating - Ladies' 1500 m
GOLD Mark Tuitert - Speed Skating - Men's 1500 m
GOLD Sven Kramer - Speed Skating - Men's 5000 m
SILVER Annette Gerritsen - Speed Skating - Ladies' 1000 m
BRONZE Bob de Jong - Speed Skating - Men's 10000 m
BRONZE Laurine van Riessen - Speed Skating - Ladies' 1000 m
BRONZE Speed Skating - Men's Team Pursuit

The Dutch men's bobsleigh turned out to be a disappointment; the 4-men sleigh didn't even start. The 10000 m men's speedskating should have been gold for Sven Kramer, but the much-discussed wrong lane-switch caused a disqualification. He didn't take his revenge on the Men's Team Pursuit. Bad communication cost the men the final. Although they are the best by far (note the olympic record in the bronze final), they failed to prove it.

Nevertheless there was a lot to cheer about and party in the Holland Heineken House, where all the medallists were honoured. The double gold on the 1500m (men and ladies) was a surprise. The gold by snowboarder Nicolien Sauerbreij was the onehundredth gold medal for The Netherlands in olympic history. The first one was for the men's sailing in Antwerp 1920. :-)

I know I have neglected blogging during the olympics. I'll post about some "old" things in the coming days.

Firechild by Maxine Sanders

2010-02-08T14:57:00.003+01:00

This weekend I finished "Firechild", the autobiography of Maxine Sanders. It was a very fascinating and highly interesting book. Of course I knew who she was and that she was married to Alex Sanders, King of the Witches, but that's about it.

This book is an open, honest and brave account of her life: the abuse by her father, her life with and without Alex, her successes and failures, her views on witchcraft now and back then, her role as child - mother - priestess - wife - teacher and more. Still it's very readable, almost like a novel. I'm glad I read it and learned more about this inspiring woman and her extraordinary life. She is so much more than 'just' the (ex-)wife of Alex Sanders!

Next to the personal part I'd say this is a must-read for witches/wicca anywhere. This is part of our history. The things witches had to go through in those early days are shocking; for example being stoned (literally!) or having their house set on fire... It shows the way things were done, what changed and what didn't. Of course it is a personal account, people will disagree with her views, but that's okay. This is her story.

"This is one of the most important books ever published on modern paganism: a full and candid autobiography by one of its most influential, and charismatic figures."
Professor Ronald Hutton - Author of The Triumph of the Moon

TwitterTink

2010-01-29T16:43:00.003+01:00

I've been putting off Twitter for a long time, but I finally gave in. ;-) I've been following some people on Twitter, but didn't open an account. A friend convinced me it's easier to follow by having my own account. That's true, so... I'm twittering!
Want to follow me? Click on the button in the sidebar or right here:

A. Vogel workshop

2010-01-19T15:39:00.007+01:00

The last week I've been in and out of bed / couch. At first I just had a sore throat, but later the rest of a nasty cold or flu was added. In between I've been doing things. :)

Last Friday I was invited to do the workshop "In balance" at the A. Vogel / Biohorma headquarters in Elburg. It was quite a drive and I wasn't feeling that well, but I really wanted to go! I arrived around 10am. One by one the participants came in. The welcome was very friendly and warm. All the Vogel people we encountered that day were like that. You could feel they really like their jobs and vouch for the Vogel products. The whole atmosphere felt very good.

After the welcome we were divided in two groups. My group first got a presentation about the company, how they work, the philosophy, some products and A. Vogel himself by a very enthusiastic man called Marcel Brienne (he starts talking when you visit the Dutch Vogel website). I already know and use Vogel products, but it was very interesting nevertheless. He had also brought some little jars with raw materials.

When he was finished a nice lady explained and helped us to make our own oils. There was a lot of stuff to choose from. I made two oils: the first from 80% almond oil / 20% jojoba oil with lavender, camomille and marigold, the second from 100% jojoba oil with thyme and rosemary. It was a lot of fun!

Next stop was the factory to take a look there. We got white coats and hats for hygiene. We have seen all the departments from processing to bottling with information and explanation by factory personnel. In another room a public health inspector was checking things.

Then it was time for lunch! The tables were full of delicious dressed rolls and other yummy things. After lunch we watched a short film, an introduction before we drove to the A. Vogel gardens. Everything was still covered in snow, but the gardener made the fields come alive while he told us all about 'his' gardens. I definitely want to go back in summer to see the gardens in bloom! The gardens are in a protected country estate, but always open to everyone. In the shop on the nearby farm we drank hot chocolate (or glühwein) before we drove back.

There were drinks and snacks to welcome us back. We sat for a while before it was time to go home. To my surprise we got a bag full of Vogel products and a Vogel umbrella as a goodbye gift. Wow, what a day! I really enjoyed myself and learned a lot in the process. The long drive home full of traffic jams couldn't even spoil the fun, although I was sooo glad when I got home!

Windmills

2010-01-10T23:36:00.011+01:00

My country is a land of windmills. Of course you all know the old-fashioned beautiful windmills, but we also have a lot of the modern wind turbines. And there will be more to give us more energy in an enviromentally friendly way.
Last Friday I participated in a citizen's panel, that looked into locations to place a lot of new windmills (and replace old ones) on request of the Ministry of Housing, Spatial Planning and the Environment. It is an ongoing project which started early 2009. The project manager gave an introductory talk about the plans and what was expected of us. Then we split up in groups to discuss four of the possible locations from a citizen's prospective. Several experts were present and available for questions. Wind energy is a good thing, but of course there are pros and cons. Our country isn't very big and when you rule out areas of dense population, nature reserves, airports and flight routes there isn't that much left. It was a very interesting afternoon and it feels good to be a part of all this. Nothing is decided yet, but we and our suggestions were taken very seriously.

End of the aftercare group

2010-01-06T16:04:00.002+01:00

In August I started an aftercare group for people with an eating disorder with Chantal in Haarlem. Unfortunately we had to call it quits last Monday. The group we started with said goodbye one by one and we couldn't find enough new participants to keep the group going.. We did all we could think of to promote the group and to make it known, but the response wasn't enough.

In December we had 3 people. Then one of them stopped to get more intensive therapy. One other was very enthusistic, but after one cancellation we didn't hear from her again. I tried to contact her by mail, sms, phone... nothing! I really don't understand; I hope nothing serious happened.

And so we ended up with only one participant. When I contacted Chantal about it, she had more bad news. She has to stop because of health issues of her own. I know another woman that wants to step in, but into what...? The foundation of the group is gone. We could only pull the plug...

I feel disappointed. Everyone always says there aren't enough aftercare groups in our area, but when there is one there aren't enough participants. I know I did my best, but I'm sad about it nevertheless. It was the right decision to stop, but it feels wrong...

COT #30: getting warm

2010-01-05T00:02:00.004+01:00

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers

who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week,
hosted by Gattina.

It's been a while since I posted for Cats On Tuesday. After a lot of dog-talk it's cat-time again!
Outside it's cold, colder than usual. We are having snow, hail, glazed frost... and there's more to come. The cats have their own methods to keep warm!

Freyja claims the central heating in the kitchen.

Bastet snuggles up to Arwen.

When Maia doesn't join Freyja on the radiator, she's on a pile of fleece blankets.

Unconscious Mutterings (week 362)

2010-01-04T17:40:00.005+01:00

click image to visit the UM-site

365 - days in a year
Tombstone - rest in peace
Dumb - ass
Intrusive - pushy
Fat - rolls
Axe - Boom Chicka Wah Wah
Planned - order
Spike - Buffy
Bleach - hair, teeth
Shopkeeper - customers

New Year

2010-01-03T14:50:00.006+01:00

We had a very quiet New Year's Eve, just the two of us and the pets. Foofur is scared to death of fireworks since some brat threw a squib after him in his first year. The cats don't pay much attention to the fireworks. Arwen noticed it but wasn't afraid during the day, just when it all started together at midnight she squeaked a bit. We turned the music on TV louder when we went out to watch the fireworks.

So... the New Year has started. I don't like looking back on 2009, too much painful memories. I hope 2010 will be better in every way. My biggest wish is for Ron to find the right job soon. It's about time and he really needs and deserves it: a new challenge, an ego boost and a nice paycheck.

In the new year I'm taking up a whole new challenge on my path. After the letdown with the Temple of Ara I needed a new perspective. I found it thanks to our Lowland Systers fairy goddess mother. She brought me into contact with a friend of hers, who'll be the teacher and mentor in my training of Alexandrian Wicca. It feels very good and I'm really looking forward to it!

Welcome to 2010!

2010-01-01T00:01:00.001+01:00

Happy New Year!!!

May you be blessed with
warmth in your home,
love in your heart,
peace in your soul
and joy in your life.

My year according to Facebook

2009-12-30T12:00:00.003+01:00

Facebook has a nice application called My Year In Status, that makes a collage out of a random set of statuses you posted on Facebook in 2009. Mine turned out like this:

(click image to see it bigger in a new window)

Holidays

2009-12-29T15:32:00.005+01:00

Christmas is over. Finally a bit of a white christmas this year. All the snow is gone now, but the weatherpeople say 2010 will start very cold in The Netherlands. There is even talk about an Elfstedentocht soon. I hope so. We'll see!

We tried to put up a tree. Normally we put it up and decorate it immediately. This time we put the tree up in the evening with the intent to decorate the next day. When we got up the next morning the cats (Freyja in the lead I'm sure) had ruined the tree. By a miracle Arwen wasn't very interested in the tree. We didn't have time to decorate unfortunately, so we patched up the tree as much as possible. The next morning Freyja & Co did it again... Enough is enough; we decided to clear away the tree until next year!

A week before christmas Ron got sick again. Not really a flu or something, but he had headaches, stomach- and intestines trouble. Only on christmas day he felt a bit better. Just in time, because we had invited Joke to come over for boxing day. Needless to say we missed Leo a lot, but still we spent a lovely day together.

Now we just have New Year's Eve and then the holidays are over. In Dutch we call it Oudejaarsavond (Old Year's Eve); strange huh? January 1st is New Year's Day here too.
Ron and I will stay home for the pets. It's Arwen first New Year's Eve. Although she doesn't overreact at fireworks when we hear it now and then, we aren't sure how she will react to a lot of fireworks at once. The cats aren't really interested. Foofur is afraid, but as long as he is near me he is okay. I'll give him Reiki like I did last year; it helped calm him down.

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-25T11:49:00.000+01:00

This is our x-mas card for this year. As they are sent some time ago and most people will have received it, I can show it here. We made the picture on the first snow day over here. Arwen loves snow, but that was to be expected. She had loads of fun in the woods. It wasn't easy to let her sit still with the reindeer tiara. It took some time and patience, but we succeeded. :-)

~*~ Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays!!! ~*~

Christmas Eve

2009-12-24T19:32:00.004+01:00

Christmas Eve... I'm feeling melancholy...
I miss the people who won't be there for yet another christmas...
I miss the ones that won't be there for the first time...
I love you, I miss you...

Someone is missing at Christmas
Someone I've loved all my life
Someone I played with and laughed all night long
Someone I think of when I hear that song

Someone is missing at Christmas
Someone has left me alone
Someone so close even though we’re apart
Someone who’d finish the sentence I’d start

Someone whose love is my favorite gift
Someone whose presence is my Christmas wish
Someone who always was here
Someone is missing this year

Candlelit snapshots of Christmas gone by
You in your favorite chair
Memories like snowflakes melt in my eyes
I look and you’re not sitting there

Someone whose love is my favorite gift
Someone whose presence is my Christmas wish
Someone is missing at Christmas
Wait… someone is touching my heart…

Someone has heard me and answered my call
Someone I love is not missing at all
Someone is with me at Christmas
Someone’s right here in my heart
Someone I love is with me this Christmas
And will be each Christmas to come!

Listen to the song here.

Merry Yule!!!

2009-12-21T13:36:00.001+01:00

Blessed Yule(tide), Happy Winter Solstice

to you and yours!

Pagan Sunday

2009-11-24T21:51:00.005+01:00

Last Sunday I had a pagan day! :-)

In the afternoon I went to the PFI pub moot in Zeist. It was great to see a lot of familiar faces, some of which I hadn't seen for quite some time! The theme was "A Day for Doreen", looking back on the Charge of the Goddess Conference in London on September 13. It was to honour and remember Doreen Valiente, 10 years after her death in September 1999. I would have loved to be there myself, but that wasn't possible so this was second best. People who have been there shared their stories and Morgana told us more about Doreen and her Charge of the Goddess. She let us hear a multilingual version of the Charge spoken by native speakers, very impressing!

On the way back from Zeist to Amsterdam (to bring two friends home) the weather was very very bad: storms with heavy rain. It was tiring for me to drive, so I was glad we arrived! I decided to stay in Amsterdam; there was no time to bring the car home. Luckily I found a parking place near the location of the shamanic training. Later in the evening when I went home I wasn't that lucky... Someone had smashed the car in the rear on the driver's side. A lot of damage (light unit and bumper) and no sign of the perpetrator. Grrr....

The shamanic training was very interesting again. We did a trance journey in which we focussed on a goal that we didn't achieve this year. Something we really wanted and tried to do, but somehow didn't seem feasible. Then we transferred it into a little candle and let it burn on the altar in the middle of our circle. As a group we did two rounds of blessing the candles.
After the break we made a journey to the realm of the elves (Alfheim). I stayed on the border and later retreated. The energy in Alfheim was too fast for me at this time. It was still a special experience!

My weekend

2009-11-09T12:59:00.001+01:00

I've had quite an interesting weekend! Saturday started at 8am with a lesson aguajogging. I've done that for quite some years. Joke has aquaspinning lessons with me, but also continued the aquajogging. This time they could bring someone for free. It was fun!

In the afternoon Wonder picked me up to go to a lecture in bookshop Donner (book paradise of 6000 m2) in Rotterdam. The lecturer was Jacob Slavenburg: cultural historian, authority about gnosticism and related issues, translator of the complete Nag-Hammadi writings). The theme was his new book that appeared on November 1st: "Het Grote Boek der Apokriefen" (The Great Book of the Apocrypha), a comprehensive work in which virtually all Christian apocryphal and secret writings from the first four centuries have been incorporated. A very interesting subject by a great lecturer!

Sunday I attended the third evening of the shamanic training. Linda had invited a female friend she has worked with for some time. Our group was asked to do a soul retrieval ritual with and for her, a cross-over between shamanic ritual and family /systemic constellations. I had an active part. It was very impressive and most importantly I think we helped her in her process. Afterwards I felt tired but also satisfied.

Blogblast for Peace

2009-11-05T00:01:00.002+01:00

Today I'm joining hundreds of bloggers across the world in a movement called "Blogblast For Peace". Bloggers will unite in a global cry for peace in this annual event. One day. One voice. All it takes is one post. Won't you join us?

I first participated in 2008 with a globe filled with the word "peace" in a lot of different languages. This year I chose to speak for the innocent animal victims that suffer in the name of human wars.

Blessed Samhain

2009-10-31T02:19:00.001+01:00

Samhain blessings to you and yours!

Samhain is the witches' new year. The circle is round, the wheel turns. The veil between the worlds is thin. We remember those who have gone before, especially the ones that left us during this year's cycle... We pay respect to ancestors, family members, friends, pets and other loved ones who have died. There is room for mourning, but we also celebrate their lifes. In the dark silence you can hear the whispering of new beginnings. Balance in everything: dark-light, day-night, life-death; no one without the other...

I hope the new year brings
light to balance the darkness,
laughter instead of tears
and love to conquer all.

Rob is back to stay!

2009-10-20T23:43:00.000+02:00

Tonight I went to the live broadcast of Robbie Williams' first live show after three years. He was opening the BBC Electric Proms in London. He played old songs and new ones from his forthcoming album Reality Killed The Video Star. This was the set list:
1. Morning Sun
2. Come Undone
3. Blasphemy
4. Starstruck
5. Feel
6. I Will Talk and Hollywood Will Listen
7. Supreme
8. Deceptacon
9. No Regrets
10. Won't Do That
11. You Know Me
12. Angels
13. Millennium
14. Video Killed The Radio StarI could see Rob was a bit nervous in the beginning, but he still is that amazing singer and entertainer! Not that I ever doubted he wasn't... ;-) I loved the show, especially when he sang the song he wrote for Ayda and she was singing back to him. Definitely a happy couple, great to see! I really like the new songs, I'm looking forward to the new album. There's a lot of hit potential in it for sure! Video Killed The Radio Star isn't on it though and that's a big miss in my opinion; the last song of the evening was a smash hit for Rob!

Just one heartfelt tip for Rob:
Please, PLEASE, find another stylist!! When you are in great shape like this you shouldn't wear baggy trousers and some vague shirt.

pictures: property of BBC Electric Proms
(to see more follow the link)

Farewell to Entrecard

2009-10-07T23:41:00.005+02:00

Perhaps you noticed, that the Entrecard widget is no longer on my blog. I decided to quit and cancel my account.
It started off as a wonderful way of getting to know other blogs / bloggers and get some extra traffic to my blog. I've made a lot of contacts, that I'm still very happy with. I've made sure I bookmarked them all!
The last months Entrecard evolved in a way that doesn't suit me and my blog. I've waited to see whether it would change, but it didn't. The sponsor ads system started today. I don't like sponsored ads this way, but if I wish to opt-out it'll cost me $5/month or $50/ year! So I decided today was the day to stop participating.

(image copied from Crazy Working Mom & On The Bricks)