Sunday, April 29, 2007

Beltane on the Brookberg

This weekend Wonder and I joined the Children of the Circle to celebrate Beltane on the Brookberg. Beltane is the sabbath of the joining of God and Goddess, of fertility, growth, love and passion. I took the train to Den Haag and Wonder picked me up. It was the first time we went with his new car, which is a lot bigger than his former one. The drive was comfortable and the car turned out to be more economical. All our stuff fitted in better too. All in all a great improvement!

We arrived around 11am. The weather was terrific: warm and sunny, blue skies and a breeze. The lake looked beautiful, the surroundings fresh and green. An idyllic picture. As we pitched the tent (actually... Wonder did; I didn't feel too comfortable in the sun), the others were arriving one by one. The group that built the new sweatlodge at Imbolc is faithfully present, a lot were there again. Also some new faces and other people from before. Llwella was there too, Luna had to cancel unfortunately. Ben2bears had brought his dog Spike. We weren't the only ones with a tent, there was a little village of tents around us. At night it was lit by torches.

The group split in two: people for the workshop inside and people for the sweatlodge. Wonder and I joined the latter. Because of the temperature outside we didn't need a lot of stones to heat the sweatlodge. We all picked one and added a wish for ourselves. I wished to be able to let go of the resistance and get healing by acceptance, which applies in more ways than one. Together we added wood to the pile. The fire was kindled and burned high. It was so hot that we couldn't stand close. Wonder singed his eyebrown and moustache when the wind suddenly turned.

Before we went into the sweatlodge we took a dip in the lake, cold but refreshing. The sweatlodge felt very hot, I was hard to stand. I lied down, that felt better. We went on a guided journey. I surrendered myself and let it come over me. I remembered no pictures, sounds, etc. When I accidentally touched Wonder (or he me) in a split second I saw a sextant. That made no sense to me until he told us he had been thinking of navigating in a certain way. In between the two sweatlodge sessions we swam in the lake and enjoyed the sun.

After the sweatlodge ritual we joined the others for dinner. Everyone had brought something to eat and/or drink. Wonder had made a very yummy soup, there was fresh fruit and a lot of other food. I was quite hungry and enjoyed a bit of everything. After dinner we sat outside and talked.
Later in the evening we went back to the fire place and started a smaller fire. We gathered around for a drumming circle. The circle was made by 8 stones, one for each sabbath of the yearwheel. Wonder and I sat behind the Lammas or Lughnasadh stone. The drumming was very intense. I just sat there with my eyes closed and enjoyed the rhythm. Wonder had to lie down and was "out" in some strange kind of way. It took me a lot of effort to get him back, but fortunately he was okay. When the fire went down Wonder and I jumped over the fire together to confirm our friendship. We were both tired and decided to go to bed after a drink and snack.

Sunday morning we woke up after a good night's sleep. The weather was very sunny again. We had breakfast together. After breakfast Wonder and I made a walk around the lake. It was beautiful and we took a lot of pictures. I called Ron again, he was just out of bed. Back on the "camping" we took down the tent. Around noon we closed the circle and said our goodbyes.

Next time at Litha Ron will go with us. I'm happy he wants to see the Brookberg and experience it for himself. We talked about it and decided to invite Gaialynn to come along too. Litha will be just before her cosmetic breast operation.
On the way home today Wonder had to go to the loo and we stopped at her home. Wonder showed her his car and we drank a cup of tea. I invited Gaialynn to accompany us with Litha and she gladly accepted. I called Ron and gave her the phone, so she could thank him too. I'm already looking forward to Litha!

Friday, April 27, 2007


RapaljeYesterday evening Ron, Wonder, another friend and I went to a theater concert by Rapalje, a Celtic folkband from the Netherlands. I've seen them live at Castlefest and I love their music very much. When we noticed (months ago) that the band would be here in IJmuiden, I booked tickets right away.
The show is called "Vurige Kelten" (Fiery Celts) and that's it exactly. Guest stars were David Myles (Highland pipes) and a pair of Irish dancers. It was a bit strange to just sit and listen to them, but after a few songs people danced, clapped and sang along. Before entering the theater hall everyone got a Rapalje-lighter to use during slow numbers; wonderful to see all those little flames. In the break Wonder bought a Rapalje blouse, a Rapalje card deck and the CD of the show. He has all their CD's. It was a fabulous show and we had a great time!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

TT #37: things I do on the computer

Thirteen things I do on the computer

You know by now that I'm a computer addict. I spend a lot of hours in front of my flatscreen monitor. Sometimes people ask me what the **** I'm doing all this time, so I made a list for you!

  • blogging - I keep this blog in English and a private divination blog in Dutch.
  • surfing - Just starting at my Google startpage or any link someone provided I visit websites I'd never have seen otherwise.
  • finances - Postbank, Visa, Paypal... I like to be up-to-date on our finances.
  • collections - keeping track easily of my collections in Excel and online sources
  • e-mail - I love e-mail, quicker and easier than snail mail, personal and business-wise; still I'll always like to write real cards and letters.
  • forums - There have been times I spent most of my online time on forums; not anymore, but I like to keep informed and talk with others. I'm a member on several forums: about witchy stuff, Robbie Williams, books, etc.
  • chat - I have a lot of people in my messengers lists; it's an easy way to contact people. I also have Skype.
  • music - I have Dolby Surround on my PC and lots of music, video's etc.
  • pictures - I use my digital camera very much and I have many pictures on my harddisk, neatly stored in well-organized folders.
  • polls & surveys - I like to voice my opinion by filling in polls and surveys on various subjects, often interesting stuff.
  • Get Paid To - Every day I take some time to click links in e-mails from GPT-sites. I get paid for it and I've earned quite some money with it . Look here for more info.
  • my website - I made a website in GooglePages and like to work on it.
  • sync with my iPaq - I sync my contacts, calendar, tasks and some files; that way I have a lot of information with me in my handbag.

What do you do on your computer?

*** from your comments I know I do a lot more with my PC: BookCrossing, PostCrossing, downloading and loooots more! ***


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Your Career Personality: Idealistic, Service-Oriented, and Future-Oriented

Your Ideal Careers:

Alternative health practitioner
Environmental lawyer
Magazine editor
Museum curator
Photo journalist

Yeah, I'd like to have any one of these jobs!
Amazing how this is so accurate...

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

End of course

This afternoon was the twelfth and last meeting of the course "Working with your own experience". I was waiting for the bus to Haarlem, but after I waited for 25 minutes I called Ron. He called me back to say there was a bus strike outside the rush hours. Ron and Wonder were driving to Haarlem to look for another car for Wonder, so they gave me a lift.

The theme of this last time was evaluation. We shared our constructive criticism and personal highlights. Last week we all got 12 blank cards to make a personal message to say goodbye to everyone. I've been thinking a lot about what to make. Finally I decided to make a diagram with the names of the participants, with the name of each person in the middle. It was quite a puzzle to get all the names in it! Around it I put stickers, images (personal if possible) , thanks and good wishes. On the back I glued my personal card, a sticker of Tinkerbell, a cut-out of a witch and the saying "Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again". Here you can see a front and back, here all the cards together.

I had brought my camera. In one of the breaks we asked someone in the building to make a group picture of us in the courtyard. Unfortunately one of the participants was absent, but this was the last possibility to make a picture.

After the official course time we all went to a pub in the centre of Haarlem. I jumped on the back of the bike of one of the others. We got 2 drinks and some snacks at the expense of the course. It was very pleasant and relaxed. Around 6pm Ron and Wonder picked me up.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Blog Apocalypse

I’ve been tagged by Nathalie to participate in a challenge called Blog Apocalypse, set up by The Urban Monk. The Urban Monk will donate $1 to charity for every link that he receives back. Everything for charity, so here it is! ;-)

Blog ApocalypseThis is the challenge:
"The blogosphere is ending. No more blogs. Blog apocalypse. The internet is still working, the world is fine. But you can’t write anymore. Write your last post. Make it a good one. What is the reason you blog? What is the last gem of knowledge you want to leave? What do you want to be remembered for? Who are you? What is the meaning of life? Haha…well not exactly but you get the point. Pour your heart into it. "

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear readers / friends,

I cannot believe this will be my last post. One way or another I'll find a way to reach you. I have to, I can't miss you! I'm addicted to write and read blogposts. Aaargh!!!

No no, I have to be realistic. I'll still be writing, I always will, but b-l-o-g-g-i-n-g--i-s--o-v-e-r. That makes me sad. Starting a weblog was one of the best decisions I ever made. It coloured my life. I shared part of my life with all of you, and you gave me a glance of yours.
I got so many wonderful, heartwarming and/or wise replies. Keeping a diary feels good, but the comments on an online diary add so much to it. I felt I am not alone; there's always someone to give a hug or to offer an advice. It gave me insight and made me feel loved and cared for. I thank you all for that, from the bottom of my heart.
Reading your blogs enriched my life. You told me about your daily life and life in your country / state, you shared your feelings both positive and negative. We got to know each other better by participating in memes like Thursday Thirteen. Even though I've never met most of you, I feel close to you. I cherish my real life friends, but I cherish you too!

Together we make a difference. Don't let the blog apocalypse end that.
Keep writing, keep caring for each other, keep sharing!
Every end is a new beginning too.
This is no farewell, just goodbye for now.

Merry we meet
Merry we part
Merry we'll meet again.

Love & Light, Tink

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I don't like tagging others, but..... if you have a blog, please consider writing a post too. This meme makes you think, you'll get links on other places and on top of that you support a good cause (probably the Salvation Army, but other suggestions are welcome).

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Monique 30

Today our neighbour and friend Monique turned 30. The party was yesterday from 3pm until late at her home. Ron helped with the preparations and during the party. Monique is pregnant, so she couldn't do all the stuff on her own.
As a present we gave her a 1 year subscription to make and maintain a website for her child. Ron calls the baby "Beemertje" (little Beemer or BMW) and everyone has adopted that, so the site is called "Beemertje" until the baby is born and has a real name.
The party was very pleasant. There were some friends I hadn't seen for a while, so we had a lot to catch up. Halfway through the day I went home to walk the dogs and rest for a moment. I was very tired because of the lack of sleep the night before. Afterwards I was fit enough to stay until late and have fun!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Ara meeting

Yesterday evening I had another meeting with the Dutch Ara group in Dordrecht. I spent the day at Wonder's home, so I already was halfway to Dordrecht. I was supposed to meet Sorcha and Liza in the train at Den Haag HS, but I took the wrong one. They were in the express train, I was in the slow one... Fortunately I got no ticket check; I travelled for reduced fare because Sorcha has a concession card. They got off the train In Rotterdam and joined me later.

I missed the last meeting because Ron needed me at home. This time everyone was present except one girl (she is in Germany). We casted the circle from hand to hand, passed on energy around the circle and did a grounding exercise. After that we talked about our group and the initiation. Because the initiation is postponed until May 2008, we have more time to get to know each other. We planned 3 meetings for this year and we'll celebrate Imbolc together next year. The group feels very good and I look forward to our future meetings!

We took a train back that went to Amsterdam through Haarlem. I thought we had an express train, but part of the journey it was a slow train. Therefore I missed the last bus to IJmuiden. I called Ron, but he had taken some beers. Luckily, on Friday and Saturday nights a Niteliner runs between Haarlem and IJmuiden. I just had to wait another 45 minutes... Ron came to the bus stop and we walked home. Meanwhile it was almost 3am. Yaaaawwwn! ;-)

Thursday, April 19, 2007

TT #36: collections

Thirteen collections

My hubby always says I collect collections. Perhaps that's a bit exaggerated (is it..?), but it's true that I enjoy the art of collecting! ;-)

  • Dutch stamps - My dad collected Dutch stamps and we always did it together. When he died I took over the collection and continued it.
  • bears - Long before the hype I collected bears. I love (real) bears and I support Alertis and their Bear Forest in Rhenen. I have several collectable bears and a lot of Colour Box / Real Old Bears by Peter Fagan.
  • Tinkerbell - That's no surprise, is it? I love that little pixie ever since I was little. I collect all kinds of Tink stuff.
  • fairies - The fae folk has always appealed to my imagination. I believe in fairies. I have a lot of little statues and other stuff. Amy Brown's fairies and the Flower Fairies are my favourites.
  • business cards - When I worked as an assistent accountant I got a lot of business cards and that ended up in a collection. I also have a lot of different (free) cards for Ron and me from Vistaprint and IceCards.
  • stickers - As a kid I collected stickers in general. Now I have a big collection of stickers to use for scrapbooking or other creative projects.
  • magazines - I read a lot of magazines and I keep the interesting ones, mostly the pagan / spiritual ones, but also ones about the Dutch language, history, nature, animals etc.
  • books - I own a large amount of books, so you could say I collect books in general. :-) Within this collection I have separate collections: Pinkeltje (a Dutch children's book character by Dick Laan); detectives like Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple, Mrs. Pollifax, Miss Seeton, Perry Mason, The Cat Who, etc. etc.; and lots more...
  • coins - My dad collected coins and banknotes from all over the world and I inherited his quirk. I also have every common eurocoin from the European countries that use the Euro (except those from the Vatican, San Marino and Monaco: the prices are ridiculous).
  • divination stuff - In my previous TT I showed you a part of my oracle card decks collection, but I also have tarot decks, runes, pendulums and the like.
  • notebooks - I have dozens of notebooks in all shapes and sizes. I use a lot of notebooks, but I have enough empty ones to last a lifetime. Still I can't resist buying another cute one...
  • pens - They belong with the notebooks, *lol*! On my desk I use my father's Parker, in my handbag is my "pagan and proud"-pen, but I have loads of other pens. I have a weakness for fountain pens.
  • cats - I used to collect cat statues but I have sold a lot of those. I know have mainly Bast statues (one big one and several smaller ones). Collection is the wrong word in this case, but I love to have real cats around too. We once had 9 at the same time, right now we stick to 2: Freyja & Bastet.

******* What do you collect?? *******


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Dark moon ritual

Last night I went to the Amsterdamse Bos (woods) to perform a dark moon ritual with the inner circle of the Witchy Girls. There will still be Witchy Girls Nights, but part of the group wanted to do rituals together: the inner circle was born. To make a good start as a group we decided to do two rituals: one with dark moon for banishing and letting go and one with full moon for cleansing and to welcome.
Yesterday the weather was great: sunny, dry and not cold. We found a beautiful spot, a natural circle in the woods with water in the west. I had volunteered to do the North or earth element. A first for me, but it felt good. I also took part in the libation ceremony. We all brought a stone. Sorcha led us into a guided meditation to let all the negative energy, problems etc. inside us flow into the stone, with some time to ourselves to complete that process. Afterwards we each buried our stone in the woods. One of the girls had made special incense: for the dark moon to put on the altar, and for each of us personally to help with the banishing. A snail decided to keep us company in the circle. That's a good sign, because a snail stands for cleaning and letting go! All in all it was a wonderful ritual and I'm looking forward to the one with full moon!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Side effects

Last week I had a swollen lip. I thought I had bitten on it, so I didn't really pay attention. It disappeared like it would normally. After that I had some kind of rash on my left cheek; not very visible, but it itched. I have an oversensitive skin and those rashes happen on a regular basis, so again I didn't take it too seriously.

Tuesday evening my upper lip started to bulge again. When I woke up in the middle of the night it had become worse. I tried to get some sleep, but around half past 3 I woke up Ron. My lip looked awful and it hurt. We decided to go to the GP-post in the hospital. I got antihistamine. At home I took one and went to bed again. By the time I woke up, my lip had gotten a bit less, but now my whole face started to swell. Ron called my internist. He wanted me to come to the hospital again, because he didn't trust it.

On the way to the hospital it got worse again. I felt dizzy and the swelling kept growing. When I got out of our car I was wobbly. Ron supported me to the entrance. In the square in front of the hospital I couldn't stand on my legs and I got disorientated. Ron called out for help. Someone got a wheelchair and they rushed me to the emergency ward. I got a drip in my arm and they connected me to a monitor. The doctor left us to talk it over with his colleagues. He came back after a while. I had a severe allergic reaction to the (bloodpressure) medicine I started with almost two weeks ago. A known but rare side effect. Leave it to me to get something rare..! ;-)

I had to stay the night in the hospital for observation. Ron went home to get some stuff for me. I got a bed in a room at the emergency ward. The nurses were very kind. Ron had to go around 10pm; I hated to see him go, I wanted to go home too! I read my magazines, listened to music on my iPaq and did some puzzles. New patients came and went, it was a temporary room before they got a room on a specific department. The last patients arrived around midnight and it was late before the lights went out. I didn't sleep much, although the bed was comfortable.

After breakfast the doctor came. Everything seemed okay enough and I could go home. Ron was already on his way. I was very tired so at home I went to bed and slept for hours. In the afternoon Wonder came to visit me. I showed him the pictures I made the day before. Scary!
Bit by bit I'm feeling better. Tonight I slept deep and long. My face is still a bit swollen and I don't feel great yet. It was quite a scare, but I'll be okay. Thank Goddess!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

No TT today

No Thursday Thirteen on my blog today. I've spent the night in hospital and I am very tired. I had an allergic reaction to my new medicine against high blood pressure. I'm okay now. I'll post about it later today or tomorrow, but I thought you might be wondering why there's no TT here!

Monday, April 09, 2007

TT on LT

I created a group on LibraryThing for people also participating in Thursday Thirteen. It's simply called "Thursday Thirteen on LT". I invited some bloggers I know are on both TT and LT. If you're reading this and it applies to you, feel free to join!

I love LibraryThing! My Library contains 129 books (and oracle decks) at the moment. Still only a snippet of what I have, but I can't hurry. There are so many books packed away in boxes... I miss them! I hope I can unpack them in my new room soon...

Friday, April 06, 2007

Computer trouble

It's official... I'm addicted to my computer. When I listed my obsessions earlier this week I should have included "computer & internet". If I can't use my PC I get severe withdrawal symptoms. Let me start at the beginning...

In October 2006 my provider offered a free trial of a new service: Multikabel Internet Security (MIS). Anti-virus, anti-spam, anti-spyware and an extra firewall. I'm very content with my provider, so I decided to accept the offer and try it. I was using a free service (AVG) at that moment, satisfactorily. I downloaded MIS and tried to install it. Alas, it didn't work. I called the helpdesk, but they didn't know the answer. To make a very long story short: after a lot of mails, calls and a lot of attempts it finally worked 2 weeks ago (about 5 months later!!). The free trial period was over, so I bought a license (€3 a month). So far, so good.

To get rid of old stuff and problems we did a clean installation of the whole PC last week. No problems with the MIS installation. I noticed before that my computer's speed had decreased considerably since I used MIS. In phonecalls 2 employees admitted it was known within Multikabel. Hmmm, would have been nice if they had told that before..!

Last Wednesday I went to Postbank Online to do some computerized banking. I log in every day. When I had filled in my username and password I hit the log-in button. Normally the next screen would be my bank account, but this time I got a strange screen in very poor Dutch asking me for 10 transfer codes. Shit, a trojan horse virus! I called Postbank's customer service and they knew exactly what the problem was. It's a known virus "every good anti-virus software should recognize". Hmmm, not MIS... They adviced me to get rid of it by downloading AdAware and software like that. I was so pissed and annoyed; MIS should have found it and delete it before harm was done!! AVG found a trojan, but it wasn't the wrongdoer. Still, it was another trojan MIS didn't detect... I couldn't use my PC, the other trojan had already infected Internet Explorer. @#*&$&*$*!! Multikabel gave wrong and odd advice, they couldn't help. We were on our own as far as they were concerned.

Fortunately we have a friend who is a pro in IT and stuff. He managed to find and suspend the trojan. At our request he uninstalled MIS and we're using AVG again. Today another program (Hitman Pro) was able to identify (Trojan.Dropper.Small.AEK) and delete the trojan. Thank goodness! Multikabel will hear more about this for sure!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

TT #35: oracle cards

Thirteen oracle carddecks I own

I love oracles in any shape or form. I use several, but I also like to collect them. For this TT I'm listing thirteen non-tarot oracle carddecks. Tarot is a fixed format, in oracle cards the form is more free to the maker. The bold links lead to the items in my library on LibraryThing.

I have more decks, but I had to limit myself here to thirteen. :-)


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


Years have passed by
but it's still so hard
I can't give you a hug
or even a birthday card
I cherish all the years we've had
but I still miss you like crazy, dad!

In loving memory of my dad...
Today would have been his 72nd birthday...
Alas, he died aged 61...

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Tagged... passions or obsessions?

Selena Kitt tagged me to confess 5 things I'm obsessed with. I must say that I don't like the word obsessed though. It sounds as if everything revolves around those obsessions. It sounds negative. They are sometimes, but I'd rather make it a list of my 5 passions and obsessions.
Well, let me see...

  • an easy and well-known one to start with: I'm Robsessed. *LOL* Explanation for first-time-visitors (otherwise you would have known for sure): I love Robbie Williams and his music. Robsessed in a good way: I don't idolize him, I don't believe in blind adoration. I like to act as if I do, just to tease some people. ;-)

  • a very old one: food! I wish I could say I have a normal relationship with food, but that wouldn't be true... Food will never be just food for me. Even though I don't always act on my thoughts anymore (thank goodness!), the "bad" thoughts are still there.

  • also very old, tied to #2 and soooo difficult to get rid of: my body image. I know I have a distorted body image. It's a "relic" from my eating disorders. I try to fight it, but fail so many times... At times I detest my body. I avoid seeing it in a mirror. I believe people when they say I look okay, but I don't see it myself.

  • time for a positive one: nature and animal protection. I love all creatures great and small. I loathe maltreatment, abuse, hunting, etc. etc. Like children animals are vulnerable, can't tell what they feel. Or as The Carpenters sang: they have no voice.

  • more passion than obsession: witchy stuff! No hobby but my lifestyle, religion or whatever name you give it, it's me. Still I'm sensible, not at all woolly or free-floathing. My feet are solidly on the ground. :-)

I should tag 5 people to make a list like this, but I don't want anyone to feel compelled. So if you'd like to do it: feel free! Leave a link in your comment so I can come and read yours!