I don't want to get into it too deep, but Phyllis Curott / The Temple of Ara and I went our separate ways. I still appreciate everything I've learned, but the arranged initiations were cancelled indefinitely and the new plans of the temple didn't fit my ideas and expectations. It has been a huge disappointment, but I decided to move on... I'm still considering different options. The group Ara Lowlands will continue under a new name: Lowland Systers.
Last Sunday I started the Shamanic Training by Linda Wormhoudt in Amsterdam. It lasts until the end of this year. I know Linda from her book "Goden en sjamanen in Noordwest Europa" (Gods and shamans in northwestern Europe), which is one of my favourites.
This first meeting's theme was getting to know each other. We were with almost 20 people. I only knew 2: one of the Lowland Systers and someone I met before in a witches cafe and on the Brookberg. The group is very diverse: in age, male and female, in background. Linda told about shamanism and what we are going to do. We did several exercises to get to know each other better.
After the break we made a shamanic journey. I had difficulty getting into it. The trance was there, but I was stuck. The spirits / ancestors came to me, because I obviously couldn't come to them. They told me I have to take care of myself, insert a break when I need one, put myself first. I should meditate more. Hmm okay, I guess that's my answer concerning the roller coaster... :)
Near the end of the evening Linda asked us to put support, energy, strength etc. in a flower for a group member that couldn't be with us. She was waiting in a hospice for her father to die, they gave him up but the dying process took long. An awful situation for her, but inside me an irrational feeling of rebellion bubbled up and demanded attention. I was angry! At least she had time with him, I wished I would have had time with Leo! I decided to share it with the group and that was the right decision. At that moment I burst into tears and let it go. Linda put another flower in the circle, for me! Then everyone did their thing (rattled, sang, meditated, etc.) to charge the flowers. Because I had expressed my feelings there was room to give the other flower some energy and support too. The flower is now on my altar.