Thursday, December 29, 2005
My mum is feeling a bit better thanks to the new medicines. I'm still doing most things for her. She doesn't dare to go outside alone, so last week I took her with me for her christmas shopping. She was very tired afterwards, but glad to be out again. Just in time, because it's snowy and slippery in the streets since Boxing Day.
The weekend before christmas was a very busy one.
Fridaynight Llewella celebrated her graduation; she's a certified dentist now. I wanted something original, so I filled a glass vase with candy in the shape of dentures and teeth and topped it off with two candy teats (also dentures). -picture- I had made a card to go with it, again with a dental theme. We enjoyed the party very much.
Saturday I drove to the Tulip Inn in Hilversum for a day of training and consultation for volunteers of the SABN (see this post). It was my first time and very interesting. We got a peek at the new website, that will be launched in January. Much better!
Sunday I was at the Midwinterfair in themepark Archeon. I met a lot of acquaintances and friends. Gaialynn was there in a wheel chair; Archeon is big and walking distances is still too tiring for her. It was so good to see her again, she looks great. Here is a picture of us in the storyteller's cottage. I had a wonderful time, but didn't buy much: a Tinkerbell ornament and a clasp for my cloak.
Thursday the 22nd the SFGA celebrated Yule at the home of one of the members. I was early and helped to decorate. This is the Midwintertable with branches of pine, mistletoe and berries; of course completed with a lot of candles to celebrate the returning light after the longest night. We didn't do a ritual, just enjoyed a very pleasant evening together.
Friday before christmas we sat front row in the local theatre for a cabaret performance called "Antiquariaat Oblomow" by Van Muiswinkel & Van Vleuten. It was the last of their performances with this piece, so we had something extra at the end. I liked the show very much!
Saturday I was invited to join in at the christmas breakfast of my former aquajogging group. I had to stop because doing both aquajogging and aquaspinning is too expensive. I still have contact with some of the group and Joke is still a member of both groups. It was a nice morning in good company. In the evening I had a bad headache and went to bed early.
Christmas day started with the smashed car window, but got better later. In the afternoon we paid a visit to Joke & Leo, where my mother was too. We dined at home.
Boxing day we drove to Breda, where we spent the afternoon and evening with WonderWillow and his mother. I had bought them both a little present, Wonder a book about art and his mum a book about cats. We were all dressed up: Ron in his wedding jacket and I wore a red skirt & blouse and make-up (wow, second time this year!). The dinner was veeery yummy! Later in the evening IJs en Llewella joined us. When we drove home it started snowing more heavily, so I was glad Ron was at the wheel!
This week Ron doesn't have to work. Well, at least not at his job... Leo and Ron really did a lot of work downstairs. The kitchen area ia almost done. They worked hard to get the section ready where the machines will be: washer, dryer and dishwasher. My mum did our laundry for the past few years, but it's too much for her now. It was finished today! More pics in our online album of the rebuilding downstairs.
Tonight from 8pm until midnight is Robbie-evening on Veronica TV: The Making of Rock DJ, The Show Off Must Go On, The Robbie Williams Show and The Making of Intensive Care. Yay! You know where to find me this evening......
Sunday, December 25, 2005
...to deserve this?
In the middle of the night we heard the doorbell ring. We live across a pub, so we thought people coming out of it were being "funny" by ringing all the doorbells in the street (wouldn't be the first time). However, it kept on ringing, so Ron went downstairs to answer. It was the pub-owner with some strange story (obviously impossible). Turned out our rear car window was smashed... ***insert term of abuse***
Fortunately we have a garage, so Ron drove the car in and we went back to sleep. Well, sleep... Not much I'm afraid. In the morning Ron called CarGlass and he could come and get a temporary replacement window almost right away. They'll have to order a new window, but it will be there later this week. We were glad to hear the insurance covers the costs, except € 68 for our own risk. But still........ Merry Christmas!!!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I'm worried though... She has a history of heart problems (5 bypasses, 2 serious coronaries) and is almost 70 (in February). She's still smoking way too much, but I've stopped commenting on that years ago. It's useless. I hope we'll be able to see the cardiologist soon.
If you can, please: light a candle, send some energy or just think of her. I'd appreciate everything anyone can do!
17.46u: I've made an appointment for January 11.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
(Elizabeth Barrett Browning 1770-1850)
We didn’t want a big expensive event; we just wanted to be married! The wedding ceremony took place at 9am (free!) and we only invited my family and a few friends. My sister Joke and my friend Cynthia were my witnesses; Ron had asked both his brothers-in-law. The party was at our place for the rest of the day. On the day itself we sent self-made cards to everyone else. We had dinner with my family and the witnesses at Dinges, our favourite restaurant. They had even decorated the place for us! This is the last picture taken of my dad, with my mum in Dinges.
I hadn’t planned a fancy dress, but after I couldn’t find anything suitable my sister offered to buy me a “real” wedding dress. Ron helped me pick one (away with the stupid superstition the groom can’t see the dress before the wedding). Up until today I’m sooo happy with the dress and the way I looked. It was the very first (only?) time in my life I felt beautiful and content with myself. I must have radiated all day! Compare my sister and me at her wedding (in 1980) and mine.
The pictures were taken by friends, but unfortunately the camera of the one who took most of the pics turned out to be broken. So we only have a few good pics and some blurry ones.
Kiss, kiss, kiss!
Aaaaah, reminiscing...... I could go on and on, I remember every second... the (just in time) self-restored old BMW that broke down the evening before the wedding... the very sunny but bitter cold weather... Ron having high fevers... the first very surprised and then proud look on the faces of my parents when I got out of the car in a white wedding dress... taking pictures in the park... the honeymoon in the bridal suite of De Eemhof (Centerparcs)... so much more...
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
It all began with an idea Frank Warren had for a community art project. He began handing out postcards to strangers and leaving them in public places, asking people to write down a secret they had never told anyone and mail it to him, anonymously.
The response was overwhelming. The secrets were both provocative and profound, and the cards themselves were works of art, carefully and creatively constructed by hand. Addictively compelling, the cards reveal our deepest fears, desires, regrets and obsessions. Frank calls them "graphic haiku", beautiful, elegant and small in structure but powerfully emotional.
As Frank began posting the cards on his website, PostSecret took on a life of its own, becoming much more than a simple art project. It has grown into a global phenomenon, exposing our individual aspirations, fantasies and frailties, our common humanity.
Every day dozens of postcards still make their way to Frank, with postmarks from around the world, touching on every aspect of human experience.
The text above is part of the inside-cover-text of the PostSecret Book which I received today. It's an extraordinary collection of secrets, a hardcover full-colour 288-pages book. A portion of the proceeds from the book go to support the National Hopeline Network (1-800-SUICIDE), a 24-hour hotline for anyone who is thinking about suicide or knows someone who is considering it. I ordered my book at Amazon (where you can see the cover and some of the cards), but it is also available at Borders and independent bookstores.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Ron and Rob drove together, so we stopped a few times to switch. We didn't have any traffic jam, but somewhere along the Autobahn (German motorway) we were directed to stop by German customs. We had to hand over our passports and an officer searched the car for drugs. He was surprised to find out that one of the Dutch passports belonged to someone speaking Bavarian fluently! Rob explained and they talked for a while. After some time we could continue our journey. The landscape en route was beautiful: snowy mountains...
I won't go into all the details, but we had a great holiday! We spent one day in the Deutches Museum which was very interesting! Of course we visited the Christkindlmarkt (Christmas Market), actually two! The biggest one was at the Marienplatz in the center of München. We have done and seen a lot, but 4 days isn't quite enough! We wanted to visit a German friend not too far from München, but lacked time unfortunately. We also would have loved to see the BMW museum. Ah well, I hope there will be a next time!
Yesterday morning we drove home, lookin back on a wonderful unexpected but very welcome holiday!
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
The great Goddess Bast who was (of course) perfect created the cat, who was and is (of course) perfect. And she created mice and small birds, so that they had food and fun chasing them.
But later, much later, she also invented the tin. And the tin was wonderful. For it contained tuna and salmon. But the tin, unlike the cat, was not perfect, for the tin could not be opened with paws. And therefore, Bast created the human. For, the human had paws that could open tins. And the humans also could invent things like central heating and keep it maintained and so Bast smiled and saw that it was good and that humans had their uses. And cats came to smile upon humans also and to love them. And so, they gave them their purrs and their warm furriness and the humans (at least, the pleasant and intelligent ones) found themselves well pleased.
But some humans (being not cats and therefore not perfect) did not understand this and began to mistake their role in the Universe. And they became misguided and thought that their role was other than to open tins and work central heating. And with that, came a great hole in the understanding of humans, so that they felt hollow and empty and the worst even forgot to worship cats. But we must attempt to forgive them for, being not cats, they are not perfect and cannot help themselves. But most of all, we must learn to avoid the damaged humans. Those that would harm us, for this world does contain impure and imperfect creatures and there are even humans so impure that they would try to hurt a cat.
But, there are some who rest between these groups and it is a service to the Universe to train and save them, if possible. We may train these humans by sitting on the laps of those who claim that they do not love us, so that they may realise their terrible error and come at last to a realisation of their True place in this Universe. Especially, we must work upon those men who claim not to like cats, for therein lies the route to many homes and hearts and tins. Once you have passed the threshold of their ignorance, we may educate household after household further.
And when we have enslaved the men, so that despite repeating "I do not like cats" they find themselves loving us, we may rejoice. For we have brought the light to a poor species, one that lacks fur, whiskers and even a tail and is ridiculous at catching mice and we have made it feel, if only for an instant, what it is like to be Truly loved by the Real Creatress of the Universe.
Afterwards you can, of course, totally ignore them.
(found on the website of Capall Bann Publishing)
Monday, November 28, 2005
Oh, God - and my father
Who is also in heaven
May the light
Of this flickering candle
Illuminate the night the way
Your spirit illuminates my soul
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa, can you find me in the night?
Papa, are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?
Looking at the skies
I seem to see a million eyes
Which ones are yours?
Where are you now that yesterday
Has waved goodbye
And closed its doors?
The night is so much darker
The wind is so much colder
The world I see is so much bigger now that I'm alone
Papa, please forgive me
Try to understand me
Papa, don't you know
I had no choice?
Can you hear me praying,
Anything I'm saying,
Even though the night is filled with voices?
I remember everything you taught me
Every book I've ever read
Can all the words in all the books
Help me to face what lies ahead?
The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller
The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright
Papa, how I love you
Papa, how I need you
Papa, how I miss you
Kissing me goodnight
(song by Barbra Streisand)
Monday, November 21, 2005
Nevertheless I enjoyed myself! I met a lot of friends and acquaintances. Whitelight had a stand with her beautiful clothing. At the end I went back to buy something I spotted before: a crystal ball and simple stand with pentacles, both 50 % off. I always wanted one and now I got one for a reasonable and affordable price! The picture is taken at home, where it stands next to part of my fairy statues.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Websites in English:
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Yesterday the presale for Inner Sanctum members started. I had joined the IS with someone else's creditcard (thanks again for that!!!). Last week I got my own creditcard. Just in time, because for concert tickets the name of the creditcard holder has to be the same as the name of the IS member.
The presale was announced to start at 10am CET, but I got in much earlier. I was on MSN with a lot of RW-forum friends. We call ourselves the F-gang (Forum-gang). We decided to go for June 22 2006 in the Amsterdam Arena. I got in easily, filled in my personal data... and then got thrown out! Aaaaaaaaargh!!! In between attempts the batteries of my wireless keyboard were empty, so I had to change them. Grrr!!! To cut a long story short: I started to try around 9am (refresh, back, start again....) and finally got lucky at around 4pm...
I have 4 tickets. Of course one for myself and one for Monique. Yesterday evening Ron decided not to go with us, because we have standing tickets and his knee can't take that for long. The other two tickets go to F-gang members and I get a ticket for London on September 15th. Woooooooooow!!!
Yesterday my period came through and I was feeling really bad: terrible headache, throwing up, etc. I paced back and forth between the computer and the toilet. What a girl does to see her favourite popstar live... When I finally got tickets I crashed. The suppressed pain came through and I felt awful (and happy at the same time because of the tickets ;-) ). I went to bed at 8.30pm and now I'm feeling better. Just the usual period symptoms...
Monday, November 07, 2005
The past weeks the weather has been better than expected in autumn. Saturday afternoon I took the dogs for a walk on the beach. The wind through my hair, a breath of fresh air... I love the beach! Always makes me feel good and clears my head.
After the walk it was time to go to Brederode Castle in Santpoort-Zuid. There was a medieval market with a lot of booths and all kinds of entertainment. It was years ago since I visited the castle ruins. I really enjoyed myself! The market is an annual event, but I couldn't make it the first two times (2003 and 2004). Next year I'll definately try to be there again! The only thing that disappointed me was the fire show, that didn't amount to anything.
Sunday evening I arranged to go to the Merry Meet Witches Cafe. Last time was a bit quiet, but this time I knew a lot of friends were going. It was pleasantly busy. Although I was very tired I was glad I decided to go.
Friday, November 04, 2005
I have a free Gmail-account with a 2661 MB inbox, which comes in handy with large files. It is web-based, but I installed Gmail Notifier to my taskbar that tells me when I've got new mail. Gmail is on invite only, but if you want an account let me know; I've got plenty of invitations left.
Lately I discovered Google Earth, free software for personal use and no registration is required. I installed it and had a lot of fun with it already! The idea is simple. It’s a globe that sits inside your PC. You point and zoom to any place on the planet that you want to explore. Satellite images and local facts zoom into view. Tap into Google search to show local points of interest and facts. Zoom to a specific address to check out an apartment or hotel. View driving directions and even fly along your route. Interested? Take the tour and see for yourself!
Today I read about Google Print. You can just do a search there. When Google finds a book whose content contains a match for your search terms, they'll link to it in your search results. Click a book title and you'll see the page of the book that has your search terms, along with other information about the book and "Buy this Book" links to online bookstores (you can view the entirety of public domain books or, for books under copyright, just a few pages or in some cases, only the title’s bibliographic data and brief snippets). You can also search for more information within that specific book and find nearby libraries that have it. More info here. You need to sign in, because many of the books in Google Print are still under copyright. It's a first Beta-version, not perfect yet but I like it already!
Of course the first word I tried was "witch". The result was great and I discovered that amongst others Llewellyn is participating. I think you can guess my next search? The result for "Robbie Williams" was interesting too!
Okay, enough for now! I assure you I don't have a share in Google (unfortunately... ;-) ).
Monday, October 31, 2005
I arrived around 10 pm (hurray for car navigation!). The place was decorated in Halloween style, spooky but beautiful. The guests had done their best to dress up accordingly. Snacks and other food were provided and everyone brought something to drink (diet Coke for me as usual). In the hall was an ancestor altar where you could light a candle. The living room had a dancefloor with seats around it and a floor below was a lounge with big armchairs. I didn't know everyone that was present, but that didn't matter much. I also met old acquaintances and friends. I danced, talked, laughed... I had a great time! Before I knew it was very, very late... or early! ;-)
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
In one of the RW mailing-lists I got a preview of the promotion clip. See and judge for yourself. I love most of it, but the last two shots... hmmm, I don't know... Without those it would be a fabulous promo; no need for the willy & nipple part. I'm no prude at all, but it just doesn't add something for me. He is looking a bit awkward himself in the last shot.
Nevertheless it makes me laugh out loud too, because it is just so... Rob to do this! He does have the gorgeous body to pull it off! The whole thing must be a joke to make sure the world will talk about it. In which case they succeeded. ;-)
Monday, October 24, 2005
- gezellig (Dutch word, no fitting translation)
- lil' sis
A girl could get cocky from less, huh? To be honest my first instinct is to name all my vices to balance this list. Unlike me, I'm NOT going to do that; I challenge myself...
Friday, October 21, 2005
There is an online runecaster. I also use this site for info on runes.
Monday, October 17, 2005
The theme was "the veil and the crone" about Samhain, Hecate and getting older. We made an ancestor altar with pictures and things of our beloved ancestors. It was beautiful, but I can't post the pics I made because of privacy reasons. I can show you my section: I brought a picture of my dad and his pen (that I'm using every day).
For the ritual we used another altar. We casted the circle from hand to hand. We remembered the people who died in the burning times and honoured Hecate. Luna Verde had written a wonderful guided meditation. The black panther accompagnied me on the journey. I saw Carmen, my guide I met years ago in a regression. She offered me a gift and a warning. She warned me for energy-suckers and negativity. The gift was a pen, a message from daddy. I didn't completely follow the guided meditation (what's new? ;-) ), but afterwards I felt good.
After the cake & wine we drew cards from a deck called "Good witch, bad witch". It isn't a serious card game, but still the cards we got were somehow fitting. I picked the Hedge Witch; apart from a lot of good things she warns for people that drain your energy... Looks like the universe is trying to tell me something, huh?
We talked about what getting older means to us. To me it is something like a combination of physical decline and mental/spiritual growth. That's very black & white of course. I don't really have a problem with getting older, apart from the fear I don't have time enough to do all the things I still want to do. I'd like to get 150 (in a reasonably good health and if everyone gets to that age). :-)
It had become late already, so I called Ron who had promised to pick me up. It was another great night, not in the last place because of all the effort Sorcha and Luna had put into it!
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Nicole Kidman is one of my favourite actresses. She was a witch before in Practical Magic with Sandra Bullock. Of course these films have little to do with real witches and real magic. That's why some witches don't like them, but I do! I'm also a fan of the series Charmed, which comes a tiny bit closer to reality sometimes. But still, it is fantasy! As long as you remember that those movies and series are fun to watch.
Monday, October 10, 2005
The concert was absolutely amazing! It was a mix of old and new stuff. I already ordered the new CD with DVD "Intensive Care" at CDWOW (only €14,99 and free delivery worldwide). From what I've heard it definitely is the best album he ever made. I can't wait to get it home! Rock, pop, ballads: he has it all! I especially loved the song he wrote for Elvis Presley: "Advertising Space"; to me it has the potential to become a big hit. But all the new songs sounded great!
Rob performed with a broken bone. He slipped and fell while playing football in Berlin on Friday, breaking a bone in his right arm. But he told the audience: "It's a special occasion. I've had an injection and now I can't feel a thing." Later in the concert you could see it was really starting to hurt a lot but he went on, as fabulous as ever. He seemed so much at ease and enjoying himself. He was moved by the reception he got all evening from the audience. When the crowd sang "Angels" to him, tears got in his eyes (and mine...).
No need to tell you who featured in my dreams tonight...... ;-)
Friday, October 07, 2005
It was a very long time ago I had a blackout like this, at least two years or something. I've had them irregularly since my teens; sometimes 3 in a month and then a few months none. It started after I got an elbow against my head in the pool, but no-one knows whether that is the cause. It has happened in all kinds of circumstances. I have consulted several specialists, but they didn't find anything wrong that could cause these blackouts. They are kind of strange. Without any warning I pass out. Most of the time I hear what is happening around me, but I don't react to anything. Vital signs are okay: pulse, breathing, heart, blood pressure, etc. It even happened in a hospital once, so the doctors could examine things right away. Again nothing...
I hope this time it was an incident and the blackouts stay away again. I feel sorry for Wonderwillow, I must have given him a real fright! In the past I warned people about my blackouts, but I really thought I was over them so I hadn't thought about it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
This morning I was up early with Ron, but went back to bed after he left. I just got out. Still very tired, but it was worth it!
Monday, September 26, 2005
The location was "Het Keldertje" (little cellar) on leisure-park De Woensberg. We had 4 little log cabins with 4 bunk beds each and a big collective cabin with kitchen. The weather forecast wasn't very good, but fortunately it was wrong; we had sunny weather most of the time!
Among the people was a couple from... IJmuiden! They looked familiar, but I didn't know them. When we talked a bit longer they turned out to be the neighbours of Ron's best friend (now only his ex-wife lives there)! I admired the woman's beautiful necklace and heard she bought it on a jumble sale just around the corner of my home. It's a small world...!
After introductions and lunch there were workshops. I had chosen "totem animal". First we got a guided meditation to find or meet our totem animal. It was wonderful to meet "my" black panther again. Later the totem I got in the Phyllis Curott weekend, a red deer, walked towards us with a little roe (deer) at his side. The little one told me she was Monique's totem animal, but couldn't get through to her. I welcomed her, but then it was time to leave. When everyone had returned from their journey we talked about our experiences. Monique had been disturbed in her meditation and failed to meet her animal, so I told her about the little roe.
Then we gathered around the tables to make a spiritstick, decorating a branch we found in the woods in the spirit of the totem animal. This is my result (picture taken at home in front of my big Bast statue).
Whitelight had given all of us a little decorated box. The accompanying assignment was to write a note for someone else with a wish. It wasn't easy to come up with a wish, but finally I wrote: 'I wish you BALANCE. Balance in yourself, balance in your life, on the inside and to the outside.' Saturday night in the Mabon ritual we had to give the box to someone in the group we didn't know. I instantly knew to whom I had to give it. She was very surprised, because my wish scored bull's eye. It was exactly what she needed and wished for. I got a box with a short note: 'much luck and happiness'. Who wouldn't want that?
The ritual took place around a campfire in a big circle. We drew the circle by walking around deosil (clockwise) three times and closed it by walking widdershins (counter-clockwise). It was a warm ritual, literally and metaphorically. Afterwards we sat around the fire and talked, sang and celebrated.
The night wasn't that bad, but I was glad it was over. I giggled and teased, didn't sleep much, had to go to the toilet (in a cabin further down), missed Ron like crazy... Nothing new! ;-)
Some of us woke up early to greet the sun at sunrise (7.16am). We did a nice little ritual in an open field. Then we made tea and coffee and talked a bit. I went for a walk in the woods with a little group. Joy (the dog of one of the forum-members) joined us. I missed my dogs, so I was glad to have a substitute. That sounds bad, but I really liked to play with her and have her around!
After the brunch there were more workshops. I have made a besom (broom). Silverwolf first explained something about the witches broom and its origin and then we got creative! We sat outside, the weather was fine. I want to decorate the handle later.
Too soon the time came to say goodbye and go home... Always an emotional moment. I had enjoyed myself very much, but was eager to go home also. I've met a lot of new people and I'd love to see them again!
Friday, September 23, 2005
Anyway, Wonderwillow decided to tell us about Zen himself. He did great, it was very informative. He was properly prepared and brought interesting books too. I'm not sure Zen is my thing, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from it. Some aspects appealed to me, some didn't. I want to read more about it, that's for sure. Hmmm, my to-read-list grows and grows... ;-)
It was a lovely evening with old and new friends, a valuable experience. I really like the concept, the set-up of our group!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Do you belong to any sort of groups of worship or regularly participate in any organizations? No, not really. I'm solitary. Online I'm a member of several pagan communities and forums. They come together irl once or twice a year.
What is the pagan community like in your area? Is it large or small, open or pretty hidden? In my town there is no pagan community, at least not that I'm aware of. I'm pretty sure there are more pagans around, but we don't do anything together over here.
Do you attend any regular events in your area? If I can look a bit further on (Amsterdam) I visit the witches' café and other activities of Merry Meet. I also have monthly meetings of the Spiritual Philosophical Society Amsterdam (in Dutch SFGA). Once per 3 months I go to the Witchy Girls Night in Amsterdam.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
I've got my new datebook for 2006!! I bought it yesterday at Himalaya in Amsterdam. Just like this year I'll use the We'Moon spiral datebook. It is great: informative, lovely design, very colourful. I also like the philosophy behind We'Moon. The name stands for "We of the Moon" and "women". You can read all about it on their website.
Yesterday evening we had the first meeting of the bookclub (see here) at Luna's. Because I already was in Amsterdam, she invited me to come earlier and have dinner with her and her son. The food was great, she's a good cook. We talked and listened to beautiful harp music by Jenny of Omnia. Unfortunately the CD isn't available anymore.
When the other girls came we talked about the book and how our little club will work. Then suddenly I felt sick: heavy sweating, splitting headache and later on I had to vomit. It got worse, so I called Ron to pick me up. On our way home I threw up in the car. I was glad to be home... Not a very nice ending of a wonderful day. :-(
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Some months ago I was thinking about all of this and decided to put my experiences to good use. On the website of the SABN (Dutch foundation for eating disorders) I read they were looking for 'experience-experts' to lead a self-help group for people with an eating disorder. Yesterday I finished the two-day training for it. It was very intensive, but I learned a lot. I know I'll still make mistakes, but everyone does. I got some tips to start a group in Haarlem with the help of a professional health care institution; that would be great. I'm excited and a bit scared, but it'll work out one way or another!
Monday, September 05, 2005
I had forgotten about the search when I got pictures of the artwork for Robbie Williams' new album Intensive Care. He is pointing his fingertip to the camera and on it is some strange symbol. I immediately thought of the sigils I had seen. I'm curious if it is one and what it stands for. I wish I could ask him, but I'm sure someone will! ;-)
Today Rob presented his new single Tripping on BBC radio. It's different again, but I love it! You can listen to it here (click on the "inspired" symbol appearing next to the words).
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Guess I'm here to stay! ;-)
Monday, August 29, 2005
Update Aug. 31: the situation is still very critical. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, send healing energy and/or burn a candle. She needs it very much...
Update Sept. 1: relieved to say she's doing better! She is out of the IC. It's not completely over yet, but the worse is behind her. Time to heal...
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Yesterday I had a professional massage. No sportmassage, no physiotherapy or something... a wellness massage! I never thought I'd have the nerve for it, but again the opportunity presented itself. The circumstances were reassuring enough for me to take the plunge: in the comfort of my own living room and done by a dear friend I trust. Still I was nervous; not afraid, but insecure about my body and very vulnerable. Luckily that feeling disappeared soon after the start. I managed to 'surrender' myself and really enjoyed it! The approach was firm but never painful, on the contrary. I felt like in the dozy state before I fall asleep, very pleasant. Afterwards I felt refreshed and at ease. So if you ever want or need to pamper yourself, I can highly recommend a massage!
My friend's website (in Dutch) is here.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
For Friday I had planned a personal, solitary ritual at home. The idea had been in my mind for weeks. Thursday the vague idea got more specific. I wrote the text in the middle of the night and finished it on Friday morning. I prepared myself, the altar and the ritual space. Suddenly I felt the urge to do this ritual skyclad, so I decided on the spot to do it. I never worked skyclad before, because I never felt right with it. I've accepted my body, but that doesn't mean I like to see it... This time was different. The circle and ritual felt very powerful and being skyclad fitted in perfectly. I had no problem whatsoever with it. Quite a strange experience for me, but I'm glad I did it! I always wanted to try, but somehow planning to be skyclad only made me giggle. :-) This was the perfect opportunity, I took it and I'm proud of myself for it.
This is a picture of the altar. I used my new Celtic tree tapestry as an altar cloth and kept the rest simple.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
I bought a celtic tree tapestry (like this one, but in greenish). I want to use it with other tapestries I bought before in my own room (when the rebuilding downstairs is done). I also bought a beautiful little bottle, made of glass with a pattern in it.
I was very tired when I got home (still am), but it was worth it! I had a great day! My pictures are in an online album.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Do you keep a journal or some other archive to keep track of what you learn, rituals you attend, etc?
Yes, I have several journals for different parts (a Reiki journal, a ritual journal, etc.) and several files for solitary and groups. I store everything in real files / folders and on my computer.
Would you ever want to share all the knowledge you've gained on your path? Or would you prefer to keep it personal, only to those close to you?
I wouldn't share it with just anyone, but I'd like to share with someone special or a little group. There are things nobody will ever see, but I often share stuff.
How do you plan to pass down what you know to your children?
I have no children and don't know whether there will be any, but I have good examples of pagan parenting in my circle of friends. I would learn and tell a lot, but eventually it's their own decision. If they would choose my path, I'd be very happy to show them the way.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
The last days she started to wobble a bit. I knew her end was coming... I did all I could to make it easier on her. I let her sleep on my chest at night, carried her around in my arms, I stroke her as often as she wanted, gave her reiki, etc.
Today she was deteriorating rapidly. I hoped she would pass away on her own at home, but her little heart was too strong. When the vet gave her an anaesthetic, she didn't react and the final injection wasn't even necessary...
Her tiny body will be cremated, her soul will join those of our other pets at the rainbow bridge...
May 25, 1989 - † July 26, 2005
I'll never forget you, sweetie. You're in my heart forever...
A new candle is burning in front of my biggest Bast statue. I know she'll take care of my little darling.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
I know he probably won't read this, but still I say:
He shared the podium with his twin daughters and son Luke while Sheryl Crow, friends and family were watching. I'm so glad they were all there for him. He looks great and happy with his kids. Tonight he'll throw a big party and tomorrow he'll take his family and friends to the south of France to enjoy a well-deserved holiday. Enjoy your time off, Lance. I wish you all the best and more.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Monday, July 11, 2005
Here's the invitation:
Available: July 8th – August 5th online
Location: On the Web
1. women 18 or older
2. read and write English
3. honor Goddess(es) or feminine deities in your spiritual path
New Data: Personal benefits gained by honoring goddess(es) /feminine divine
Time Needed: 10-20 minutes (don’t over-think the questions and it moves very quickly)
Confidential: All data collected and your email address are kept confidential
Results: Are available whether you complete the survey or not, go to Survey for info.
Researching: Potential positive personal benefits of honoring goddess(es)/feminine divine
Contribute: Your input to be gathered for academic researchers to add to their knowledge
I plan to do a study on men and other research at a later date. For more details go to the Survey and look for the detail description.
Please notify your members, email lists, mailing list, stores, circle / coven / grove or others who you feel may be interested. I need your help getting the word out to the Pagan community world wide.
I very much appreciate your help.
Doctoral student in Clinical Psychology
California Institute of Integral Studies
San Francisco, California
Sunday, July 10, 2005
After nine we started with the ritual. The altar looked beautiful! We casted the circle from hand to hand like in the Phyllis Curott workshop. We all told something about our personal goddesses and how we connected with them. First we passed an obsidian (widdershins) in which we put something we want to get rid off. After that we passed a rock-crystal (deosil). By giving it to the woman next to us we wished them something good to take from it. The bread was a special one in the shape of the sun. I just nipped from the wine (I don't drink alcohol). Before we closed the circle we drew cards from another Goddess Oracle. My card was Nu Kua. She brings order in your life in an attainable way (not too much, not too little).
After the ritual we grounded and talked, until we had to go home. Our host has buried the obsidian in her garden after offering the remains of the cake & wine. Mother Earth can absorb the negativity and make something positive out of it again. It was an inspiring evening with friends.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Last night we had our first get-together to talk about how we'll do it and plan ahead. We decided to work through the book by path: first the elemental Path, than the Inner Path and last the Outer Path. We'll start after the summer holidays. We'll have our first "official" meeting at September 9. I'm looking forward to read the book again!
About the book...
A fairy tale about twelve wild swans is transformed into a set of instructions for an initiatory journey into the world of magic and Witchcraft. The lessons set out in The Spiral Dance are taken to a more profound level in this book, the first ever written to provide advanced magical training.
A sourcebook for circles, covens, and groups, this volume instructs on three levels: the craft of magical training, inner-spiritual development, and outer work in the greater world. Each chapter of the book is constructed to accommodate three levels of experience, and three areas of focus. The Element Path teaches the basic tools of our tradition, the Inner Path directs those tools toward our own personal and individual healing, while the Outer Path helps us to take these tools out into the community to inspire change, build community, and confront the unhealthy power structures in our society.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Thursday, July 07, 2005
A 12-year-old girl who was abducted and beaten by men trying to force her into a marriage was found being guarded by three lions who apparently had chased off her captors, a policeman said Tuesday.
Surprising huh? As Sage says in her Goddessing weblog (where I found out about this): no wonder big cats were so often associated with goddesses!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
The location of the workshop was perfect: a hostel very close to the woods. I've been there before (workshop weekend with Janet Farrar & Gavin Bone), but this time we spent much more time outside. The weather was a bit unstable, but I didn't mind.
The group was very diverse: young and old, coven witches and solitaries, beginners and advanced. Phyllis adapted to that and it became a close group working together like a charm. I have written lots and lots of pages in my paper journal, but I'll share some of it here.
A very interesting proces was something called "unnaming". It's a way of learning from nature by paying attention and use your senses. You have to describe something without using its name. In that way a tree becomes: green, tall, has branches and leaves, has roots deep into the earth, etc. In the beginning it was quite difficult, but in the end the most beautiful descriptions came out of it. This is something I'll do more often when in nature!
Saturday afternoon we spent by making journeys to find a power animal. I already did it once for myself, but this time we worked with couples. We had to find a power animal for our partner. Both journeys were wonderful. My partner found me a big and proud red deer. I found her a hawk with the help of both my familiar power animal (black panther) and the new one.
Saturday evening we did an impressive ritual. I brought my livewood staff, a Bast statue, my pendulum and some little things with me. Everyone had changed their clothes and looked special. I wore Monique's dress and felt good in it. Here's a picture of Phyllis and me. We have been chanting and dancing. The energy felt so good! And afterwards: partytime!!
All in all I learned a lot, had fun, met wonderful people... In short: a terrific weekend to look back on and enjoy for a long time!!!
I'm a Dutch eclectic solitary witch who likes exploring the www, meeting other pagans, learning about other paths and religions, etc. I have a LiveJournal, but I hardly use it to write about my spiritual path and every-day-life as a witch. About a year ago I started a MuseLog, a pagan journal. Unfortunately that service will stop soon, so I decided to move over to Blogspot. I'll import the Muselog-posts to this log some time today.
Tinkerbell has been my online nickname for as long as I have internet access, because I just like the little fantasy-pixie! I use that nick everywhere on the web, whether it's on a Robbie Williams forum or on any e-maillist. I like to keep things simple! ;-)
If you have questions or comments, feel free to leave a message!
14.07u: I had to do it manually and the comments are lost (I did save them on my harddisk though), but all the Muselog posts are imported!
Monday, July 04, 2005
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
May 10, 2005 Girl, 8, 'was tortured for being witch'
By Nicola Woolcock
A Girl aged 8 was stuffed into a bag after being denounced as a witch and was moments from being drowned in a canal by her family, a court was told yesterday. She had been starved, beaten, cut with a knife and had chilli peppers rubbed in her eyes in the plot to kill her, it was said. The girl had been accused of being a witch by a boy, also 8, who was a member of her extended family in Hackney, East London.
Her ordeal went unnoticed by teachers, social workers and neighbours for 15 months, during which the girl, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was abused almost daily, the Old Bailey was told.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
May 29, 1996 - †April 12, 2005
I'll never forget you, sweetie. You're in my heart forever...
May Bastet take pity on her and take care of her in the Summerlands...
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
After a chat and some general information we got the symbols of the second degree; they are used to send Reiki to situations (past, present or future, Reiki doesn't know time) or persons. Not easy to draw or pronounce!! It's an unwritten law not to tell or show the symbols. I know everything can be found on the internet, but I'll honour that rule in my log. While we were practising the symbols each of us was taken aside to receive our attunements. In the coming weeks we'll try and see what it does. On April 16 we'll have the second day to exchange experiences, ask questions, practise if we want. Afterwards we'll get our certificate.
Monday, March 21, 2005
This image is made by Cynthia Rudzis. Her website is currently under construction, but her art is worth waiting for. The Ostara image is one of a series of eight: "Cats of the Wheel".
This weekend I celebrated Ostara with a group of online pagan friends. I had a great time. We made our own relic and talisman to use in a beautiful ritual which was all about respect and letting things go. In the evening there was a drum circle around the fire outdoors. It was very powerful!
Unfortunately I couldn't sleep, but instead I had a wonderful conversation with a friend I hadn't spoken for a long time. So it turned out to be time well spent! We have promised each other to stay in contact this time and we will.
Sunday morning very early we did a lovely little ritual to greet the sun and welcome spring. After breakfast several people sat around the large table and did readings for each other: runes, tarot, inner child, channelling, etc. Even though it wasn't for me personally this time, I picked up a lot to remember!
Before we went home there was a show with birds of prey: snow owl, uhu (big owl), buzzard and... a raven! They were all great, but I couldn't keep my eyes of that last one! I was allowed to have it on my arm for a while (wearing a leather glove of course) and I was speechless. Quite the experience!!!
Monday, March 14, 2005
I came across a fun website. Did you know the botanical name for chocolate is theobroma, which means food of the gods?? So why not make Chocolate Deities!?
Quotes from the website:
"Some folks say- But we can't eat the Deity! So they choose to place it on their altars as an offering. Others transmute it into another form: melt it to make excellent hot chocolate or sauce for a Sun Day. Most of the world over, however, after a food offering is made to the Deity, it is taken from the altar and consumed in a blessed repast."
"It all started nearly ten years ago when Jeanne Fleming and Jessica Bard were asked to make the hors d’oeuvres for an opening at a local art gallery. The show was entitled: Shrines and Altars. So, they decided to make a goddess entirely out of food, wine flowing freely from her breasts, and providing everything from nibbles to dessert." Read more...
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Who knows... perhaps we'll finally have another Elfstedentocht!
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Friday, February 04, 2005
There was an audio guided meditation, which was beautiful. The circle was cast in written words; I spoke them out loud for myself. I was so far away from the rest, but felt really close! It was early in the evening for them, but 1am for me. After the ritual the energy was still whirling inside me, so I couldn't go to bed immediately. I got little sleep that night, but it was more than worth it!
Next time I'll make sure to be there again!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
A friend I know from the official forum had some spare packs and offered to sell one to me. Yayyyyyy, thanks sweetie! Here's a pic of the inside, with a little pic of Rob and the front (not made by him and I don't particularly like it).
I love "Angels"!!! Rob deserves to win the Brits 25 years Best Song Award with it. It's a pity a lot of people in the US only know the horrible version in which Jessica Simpson butchers the song. I can send you Rob's version, or better yet: buy his Greatest Hits album! Follow that link also to hear a sample of the best, one and only original of Angels (and samples of all the other songs on the album).
Monday, January 17, 2005
Happy & Healthy 2005 for everyone!!!
Last Saturday I had a Reiki practising afternoon. My Reiki master Percy offers those afternoons from time to time to practise on each other, talk about experiences, etc. My sister Joke and I did Reiki I in November 2003. We'll do Reiki II in March / April 2005. I'm looking forward to it, I feel I'm ready to take the next step. I feel at ease with Percy as my Reiki master; she's good and down-to-earth, not "woolly". This is her website (the English version).
I know Reiki works. I use it on myself, others and pets. I don't see it as a replacement for medical treatment, but it certainly is a great and healing addition. It also works very good to relax.
Do you know Reiki? What's your opinion / experience?