Farewell to Kyra

On November 30th a wonderful woman passed over to the Summerlands. Kyra was my HPs, my initiator, but first and foremost she was a dear friend. Although most of you reading this didn’t know her, I want to share some stories and thoughts about her.

When I met her for the first time some years ago, she was already diagnosed with Hodgkin's. It came back several times and even then she was already living on borrowed time. That didn't stop her from fighting, on the contrary! She has been a fighter until the end. She tried alternative methods, special diets, everything within reach that looked promising. She has managed to live way longer than the medical world would think possible. It was hard on her, but she hardly ever complained. That wasn't really in her nature and if she did she always tried to end the conversation on a positive note.

I met her on several occasions, mainly on events organised by the Pagan Federation in The Netherlands, but we had more in common than our pagan path and shared a lot of interests. We also kept in contact through e-mail, social media, etc. She was a gifted artist and very creative, although she was often trivialising it if I told her that. She shared her knowledge and ideas freely, always willing to explain something. We had talks about health and a body that didn't cooperate with what we wanted. In that area I was the one trivialising, because I didn't want to compare my health issues with her way more serious ones. Sometimes she was angry about that, but we also laughed a lot and didn't take ourselves too serious!

Her pagan path started in shamanism and that stayed with her. We often talked about it. In the beginning I was studying with Phyllis Curott, who combines wicca and shamanistic techniques into her own tradition. Kyra was very interested and shared some of her own practices with me. Later on she met Ron, my husband, and they got along very good too. They shared the love of drumming and liked to drum together. When Ron and I made our own shaman drums from scratch, she promised to make drum bags for us by felting. Unfortunately she didn't feel good enough to felt and wasn't able to even start on them. Fortunately I have other felting objects and art she made.

After some not-so-nice experiences on my spiritual path I was questioning myself whether this really was the right path for me. I felt a bit lost. Kyra helped me to find myself and my path again. She never told me what I should do, but helped me to discover by myself how I really felt, how to deal with it and what I wanted. That was the kind of friend she was: never judgmental, always there to help. Oh sure, she had her own shadows to fight. She wasn't perfect, no-one is, but we shared the ability to play the devil's advocate, to see problems from different perspectives, not necessarily our own.
When I had found my way again, and decided that yes, this is definitely the right path for me, she invited me to join her coven after she discussed it with the other coven members. That was the final step I needed to take to get back on track. It is a Greencraft coven, an Alexandrian based traditional craft wiccan tradition. I was the last one she initiated, a bittersweet honour... Because of the coven our contact intensified, we met more often and I loved that. If only she could have had more time...

We knew she lived on borrowed time, but her death still came very fast and suddenly. I'm glad she didn't have to suffer any longer, the pain is finally gone... May she rest in peace in the loving hands of the gods, they know she deserves it.
She had left instructions for her final goodbye. It was a private ceremony with people who cared about her very much. Beautiful, with tears of course, but we also celebrated her life just like she wanted. She was (is!) loved and will be dearly missed by many...

She wasn't someone for ostentation, didn't like to be the centre of attention, let alone admiration, but I really wanted to share this, so I hope she'll forgive me...
RIP, Kyra - merry meet, merry part, until we merry meet again!

Elegy for a Dead Witch

(by Doreen Valiente)

To think that you are gone, over the crest of the hills,

As the Moon passed from her fullness, riding the sky,

And the White Mare took you with her.

To think that we will wait another life

To drink wine from the horns and leap the fire.

Farewell from this world, but not from the Circle.

That place that is between the worlds

Shall hold return in due time. Nothing is lost.

The half of a fruit from the tree of Avalon

Shall be our reminder, among the fallen leaves

This life treads underfoot. Let the rain weep,

Waken in sunlight from the Realms of Sleep.

~*~*~*~

Also published in PaganPages January issue:
Tink about it: Farewell to Kyra

Farewell to Aims

Amy Louise Cartwright 
August 13, 1983 - August 21, 2014

Last week I got a message from a friend, that our mutual friend Amy had died peacefully in her sleep. It was a big shock, she was just 31... 

We all got to know each other online in the original Robbie Williams forum on his website years ago. We called ourselves the F-gang (forum-gang) and had almost daily contact as regular posters there. We had a lot of fun, but also discussed serious matters and supported each other through good and bad times. Amy, or Aims as we knew her, was the only one that lived in Stoke, Robbie's place of birth. She happily sent out postcards and shared the recipe for oatmeal cookies, a local snack. She was ever there with a friendly word, advice or virtual hug for everyone. She talked about Robbie, her life and her passion for hamsters. On her birthday and for X-mas I always tried to get her a card with hamsters...

In 2005 I met Aims for the first time when she traveled to The Netherlands for the first F-gang meeting. It was a lovely weekend with a group of friends.
In 2006 a smaller group came together for a few days to go to the Robbie Williams concert in London (later transferred to Milton Keynes). Aims booked a room for all of us in a youth hostel behind Tavistock Place. At the concert we met a few others. We had a great time together, both in London and at the concert! Read my report here.

Although the old forum doesn't exist anymore I always kept in contact with Aims (and other F-gangers). First by e-mail and later on Facebook. Not frequent, but on a regular basis. We also exchanged birthday and x-mas cards, though we both missed a few. That was never a problem, lives get busy. A few weeks ago I almost forgot her birthday and placed a card on her wall. I didn't know her Facebook profile had been hacked some time ago and she didn't spend much time there. The next thing I heard was the sad, sad news of her passing...

I really wanted to go to the funeral to pay my respects and give my condolences to her family and friends. Unfortunately I can't afford to go. The F-gang and other friends from the forum got together and we decided to raise money for a flower arrangement and a donation to a charity in her honour.
Around the world several people will light a candle today at the time of her funeral, and again next week for the woodland burial of her cremated remains. Some of us also lit a candle online here.

Rest in peace, Aims....

as Robbie sings it: 

You're one of God's better people 

And you don't know 

That's why you're special

You were a truly special, amazing woman

who touched the hearts of everyone who knew you

You'll be missed

gone but not forgotten

~*~*~*~*~*~

Robbie Live 2013

Towards the end of 2012 Robbie Williams made an announcement: in 2013 he would finally make another tour. Of course Amsterdam was in the list of concerts. I was over the moon and very sad at the same time. Our financial situation didn't allow me to buy a ticket of almost € 100...

Disappointed as I was I poured out my heart on my Facebook wall. The comments were heartwarming! Me not going to Rob's concert was out of the question, I just had to find a way! The solution presented itself when a dear friend offered to go together; she would pay in advance and I could pay her back whenever possible. I hate debts, especially with friends, but it was an offer I couldn't refuse!

We decided to go for seated tickets, because unfortunately my chronic fatigue prevents me from standing in the field. During the 2006 tour I had the best spot possible: front row in the middle. Bittersweet memories because it was only a week after my mum passed away...

Then finally.... Saturday July 13th was RW-day! I drove all the way back from a festival I was attending and off we went to the Amsterdam Arena. We were in our seats 20 minutes before the support act started. This time it was Olly Murs, a nice guy but better on tv than on stage. Ah well, it was enjoyable when getting ready for the Real Thing!

The concert was great! Rob seemed so relaxed, happy and comfortable on stage but still funny and as cheeky as ever. He performed a wonderful mix of old and new songs, chatted in between and all that in a stunning setting I won't even try to describe... He is an entertainer pur sang and doesn't need it, but it made the show even better.

The setlist as I remember it (wrote it down afterwards):

• Hey Wow Yeah Yeah (instrumental) 
• Let Me Entertain You 
• Monsoon 
• Not Like The Others 
• Minnie The Moocher 
• Kids (with Olly Murs)
• Sin Sin Sin 
• Bodies 
• Come Undone 
• Everything Changes 
• Strong 
• Gospel 
• Be a Boy 
• Millennium / Better Man / Sexed Up 
• Me and My Monkey 
• Candy 
• Hot Fudge 
• Rudebox 
• Rock DJ

and of course in the encores my all-time favourite Feel, She's The One and the inevitable sing-along Angels.

The Kids duet with Olly Murs was funny, but not a success. Please sing it with one of the wonderful backing singers next time, Rob... During Me and My Monkey I sent Ron a text message; it's his favourite Robbie-song. My friend recorded Candy for her little daughter who loves the song. So many songs, so little time... Afterwards I picked up the 3cd-recording of the concert so I can go back and relive it whenever I want!

I lost my voice a bit and had a sore throat from yelling, but boy o boy was it worth it!! I had been looking forward to this for months and I wasn't disappointed, on the contrary: it was amazing! The magic never left Rob, he carries it with him inside and shares it freely during his concerts. The magic was tangible all around. A concert by Rob IS magic and that is high praise coming from a witch...

Just one minor mishap: he wore way too much clothing! LOL! He has trained for the tour and from pics we know he has a very fit body. Pity we didn't see much of it. But if that's all, well... I'll survive. ;-))

In the nick of time

Yes, again life got in the way of blogging. Life hasn't been easy, 2012 definitely wasn't our year... So now we have our hopes on 2013! :) I'm ending this year on a positive note though: in those difficult times we got to know who our real friends are. We are very blessed with wonderful friends and some family that support and help us wherever they can. So I won't lament over lost friends or disappointing people, we are very thankful for those real friends. In return we try our best to be good friends too!

Let's see what I can tell you about the past two months. Again focusing on the positive things!

Early November I attended another workshop with Vivianne and Chris Crowley. In March I was at their workshop "Change, Growth and Renewal" and loved it. This time the theme was "A Samhain Journey", focusing on the Dark Goddess and the Lord of Death and Rebirth, working with meditation, story-telling and ritual to connect with our ancestors of spirit, blood and land and to learn to harness the creative energies of our deeper, hidden selves. It was very interesting and gave me a lot to think about and work with. Vivianne and Chris are wonderful people, down to earth and with a lot of knowledge they are happy to share. Chris also has a gift for guided meditations; his voice takes you away within seconds!

On November 9th I went to the "Zorgfestival" in Amsterdam, a festival for people who work (or want to work) in the health sector. Together with other 'experience-workers', we ran a workshop / lecture about our experience with mental health issues.  I was first to tell my story about eating disorders and depression, answer questions, etc. The audience were teenagers, students that are going to work in the health sector. The others told their story, read poems they have written and did an interactive part. It was a success and we got lots of compliments.

In November and December Ron and I went to the full moon celebrations. This year we attended most of them. With a varied group of people we do a ritual outside in the dunes near Haarlem. Meditations, stories, sharing, ritual work and more. I love it! Ron is the 'fireman', he makes and looks after the fire in the middle. Afterwards we gather around the fire with food, drink, drums, chats etc. In November I made a video that gives an impression of the 'after-party':

Last Friday we celebrated the last full moon of this year, the 13th gathering. It was the largest group of people, 15 men and women. The organizing couple announced we will continue the celebrations in 2013. Yay!

On the morning of Yule (Winter Solstice, longest night of the year, Midwinter) at sunrise we were at the same spot to celebrate the returning of the light. This time only with 3 people, but that was okay too. We did a simple but beautiful ritual. Afterwards we burned the Yule log, enjoyed hot chocolate and ate 'snert' (Dutch pea soup). A wonderful day with friends!

Last Sunday we were volunteers at the "Langste Rollade Ter Wereld", a world record attempt to make the longest rolled rost in the world, surrounded by a Dickens-style market with old trades (smithy, beekeeper, leather work and more) and a living nativity scene. The attempt was successful and the new record is 155 meters and 25 centimeters (509.35 feet)! Here's a video of the result:

It was made by a group of traditional butchers with free-range and organic meat. Afterwards the rolled rost was cut into pieces and donated to food aid for people that can't afford much. All the proceeds of the event went to another good cause.

This morning at sunrise we walked a labyrinth on the beach between Bloemendaal and Zandvoort. It was the fourth time that friends of us made a labyrinth there on December 31st, and our third time to walk it. It was very windy, but a wonderful experience, shared with friends. I made a lot of pics and some video's. I shared them publicly on Facebook in the album "Labyrint 31-12-2012". Just click the link to see the pics.

Well, that's it for now. See you next year! :-))

Wendy Rule rulezzz! :)

Last week Wendy Rule and her husband Timothy van Diest were in The Netherlands for a workshop and an intimate concert at Ons Ding in Haarlem. Wendy is an amazing Australian singer / songwriter and witch, whose incredible voice brings her mostly pagan songs to life with the help of her very musical and talented partner Timothy. Last time they were here (in 2010) I missed the concert because I got ill, so I definitely wanted to be there this time!

Astrid made this beautiful pic of Wendy & Tim on the North Sea beach

Thursday night Wendy and Timothy offered a ritual music & meditation workshop. Including them we had a nice group of about 12 people, men and women. We all sat around a simple but wonderful little altar. Deosil, starting with Wendy, we each told our name, astrological sign and why we were there. Only a few signs missed, so we made a great astrological mix. :)

Wendy smudged us one by one with American sage, accompanied by Timothy's magical flute and her own voice. Wow, what a treat... We cast the circle by holding hands, making a connection and passing energy. The elements were invited  in a special way: again deosil we each welcomed the element in our own words, for example by stating what it stands for. First a round for air, one for fire, water, earth and finally spirit.

Then Wendy led us into 5 meditations, one for each element. She performed a perfect mix between spoken guidance and singing words or just sounds, while Tim enchanted us with his wonderful guitar play. After each meditation we discussed what we had experienced. Of course I can only describe my own experiences...
AIR: Lying down I felt myself floating away into the air. I was a bird surfing on the winds. I felt free and happy. I flew over fields and seas and cities... I flew into a cloud and became the cloud, gently floating across the blue sky. When I had enough of that I felt tiny, sitting on a big white bird. I think it was a goose and I thought of Nils Holgersson. I was really reluctant to be called back, but I knew I had to, said goodbye to the goose and returned.
FIRE: This was a dancing meditation with rattles and singing. Because I can't stand in the same place very long I had to sit down, but it still worked. :) Wendy whipped us up with her voice. It was impossible to sit/stand still, we moved wildly and the sound increased. What a passion, what a fire. Woohoo!
WATER: Being a Virgo I should be an earthy type and I am in some ways, but I always had more with water. I love water, I am water. Lying down again this meditation was divine... We started at the surf of the beach with the water coming in. I let myself float on the water and just drift away. After some time the beach was gone and there was only water around me. I wanted to dive. When I did I turned into a mermaid. The water was beautiful. There were fish and other sea creatures around me. I even saw Atlantis. I literally was in my element... Wendy slowly called us back. I know I would go back there though...
EARTH: For the earth meditation we sat down in a circle with our drums. We drummed in a steady rhythm, the heartbeat of Mother Earth. The rhythm got me into a trance. I saw images of her beautiful lands, mountains, forests.... If felt like the meditation lasted forever, but that was fine by me!
SPIRIT: We sat around the altar and put energy into the flame of the candle by vocal toning. All together, but with our own individual sounds that made a beautiful noise, first a bit chaotic but slowly blending into one. I always start a bit shy, but grow into it. There were beautiful voices improvising around me and they took me into it too. The fountain of sound exploded into spirit like a rocket and showered down on us again.

We thanked the elements by calling them out loud in any way we wanted. Loud, soft, saying, singing, shouting, whispering.... but still one voice together. Goosebumps all over. What a magical way...
Wendy opened the circle, but of course it was unbroken. Merry meet, merry part and merry meet again!
We brought our cakes and wine in and had a wonderful 'after-party'. We had a lot of yummy food and drinks. I had made fresh kiwi-juice and bought some chocolate (what else, haha).
What a wonderful, wonderful workshop....

~*~*~*~

Friday night I came back with Ron for the concert. Ons Ding was filled with chairs for an intimate living room concert. I think there were around 25 people. Most I already knew, some were new to me.
First Wendy cast a circle through singing. Wow, so beautiful and strong! Then she and Tim started off on a musical adventure....

Wendy sang songs from her many albums. She told something about each song: what it was about, how/why she wrote it, etc. I recorded one, but I was sitting in the back so the images aren't great:

During the last living room concert in Ons Ding (with Kellianna) our hostess Astrid had sung a song too. Thursday night I asked whether she was going to sing again. She is a bit shy about her voice (not necessary at all, but I understand), but decided to go for it anyway. She told about her connection with the beach and sea while using her ocean drum, and sang her song about the goddess Nehellennia. We all enjoyed her performance:

Then Wendy & Tim took over again and continued the concert. Wendy told us about a song she wrote for Tim when he was coming to her Australia. I accidentally recorded the song, but my camera was in my lap so there are no images. The song is great though and I decided to upload it anyway. Because Wendy wrote it for Tim I made it a tribute to their love:

Much too soon the last song was sung and Wendy opened the circle. We stayed a while for a drink and to talk to our friends. Wendy sold quite some albums I think. Good for her, she deserves it!

Thank you Wendy and Timothy for a wonderful workshop and concert!

Thank you Ben and Astrid for hosting both and having me/us!

Health

Although I have my own medical complaints I don't dwell on my health daily. We should be (more) thankful for it though. Sometimes it's hard when we are faced with the reality of how fragile one's health can be...
In February I got a call from a dear friend's mother. She told me her daughter Kitty had had a stroke, a cerebral infarct. She had been unconscious for 3 weeks, paralyzed completely on the right side, kidney failure, liver damage and more... I was confused, or rather flabbergasted... She is my age, just a few weeks older, so it hit hard!

When we first visited her that afternoon she was in a nursing home. The average age was 75+ there, but she had to stay there because she needed dialysis. She was slowly getting a bit better, had some feeling in her right side, could speak again (though difficult). The situation made us cry together, but we also laughed a lot.

After a few weeks she was transferred to Heliomare, a health rehabilitation centre in Wijk aan Zee. That was a much better place for her, where she got all kinds of therapy. Every time we visited she had made big steps, real progression! She was walking again, and moving / using her arm a lot better. She shows so much strength and determination... I have deep respect for her, and also for her parents who keep supporting her daily anyway they can.

Last week I sent her another card, promising to come by this week. Wednesday she called us to say she was with her parents for a visit. Ron was stunned when Kitty called, another great step! Yesterday evening we drove to Heliomare for the visit. She had wonderful news: she is going home at the end of this month! She has already been home for weekends, first with her parents and later alone. She can walk the stairs to her bed and help herself around the house. Wow!! I'm so glad for her.

When we first visited her, we joked that she and I would be linedancing again this year. I had my doubts about it, but now I say: who knows? She wants to visit our linedance club so we'll contact the instructor and see what's possible. When she shows so much will to persevere we will do whatever we can to help!

House blessing

Our friend Maralynn got a new home some weeks ago. She planned a house blessing and asked me to help her with the ritual. Some people asked me what we did and with her permission I'll give you an idea.

Yesterday friends gathered in her home, varying from experienced witch to newcomer. First I explained what we were going to do. Then we cast the circle from hand to hand. I love that way of casting a circle, because everyone has an active part and it literally binds people together for the ritual. I called the quarters and Maralynn invited the goddess and the god.

The heart or the working part of the ritual consisted of three parts:

1. cleansing the house with a smudge stick (white sage, lemon grass and cedar) by Maralynn and me
2. blessing the house with the elements by Maralynn and three others, each with an element (incense, candle, water and salt)
3. making a witches' bottle together for home protection - Maralynn decided not to bury the bottle but place it on a shelf above her front door

For the cake and wine Maralynn had biological apple juice (she doesn't like alcohol, yay for me!) and self-baked pentagram cookies. Of course we saved some for the libation (offering to the gods and local spirits).

After thanks and closing the circle we had a delicious barbecue to celebrate!

Relaxing yurt weekend

I got to know the yurts in Otterlo when I spent two weekends there with the Lowland Systers last year in March and November. When Ron heard my stories and saw the pics he said he would like to go there too!

So last weekend we stayed in a yurt with 3 friends and we had a great time. We all needed the peace and quiet after days/weeks/months of stress and other stuff. The weather cooperated nicely, it was dry and sunny. Ron and I drove to the yurt friday afternoon, the others arrived in the evening.

Saturday we woke up slowly and spent the day doing whatever we felt like! The men did some archery, I went for a walk in the woods, we all relaxed and enjoyed ourselves. In the afternoon the hottub was fired up. The men tried it first (very hot!), later in the evening the ladies joined them. In between we had a barbecue! After soaking and relaxing in the hottub we went back into the yurt. I slept a lot and very well!

On Sunday we had another quiet morning. Slowly we started packing and clearing out stuff. In the afternoon we drove home after a wonderful weekend with friends, fun and relaxation. Just what the doctor ordered! ;-)

BF but not Forever...

Once there was a man I called my best friend (after Ron of course) but no more... His ideas about friendship turned out to be very different from mine. How mistaken could I be...

We have been friends for quite some years. Last year he finally found the love of his life. I couldn't be happier for him! Of course that changed the friendship a bit, but that was to be expected and fine with me. The contact was less frequent, but our bond seemed as strong as it had always been. At the end of January I went to visit him for a day and we had a wonderful day together. A few days later he called, panic-stricken by a certain problem. Ron and I talked to him and calmed him down a bit. I was worried, but he said he'd go to his girlfriend so he would be okay. I asked him to let me know how it would work out.

After this I didn't hear anything from him for weeks. I tried to call several times, several numbers. Nothing! I was confused, but decided to give it some time. He obviously needed that. I sent him an invitation to Ron's birthday, like we did to all our friends. He didn't show up, didn't call, no card, nothing... Last Saturday I sent him a normal e-mail, asking him what was going on. I was still worried. Yesterday evening I got a short and cold answer. He had no use for other people's misery. He would contact me again when he would be in need for it. O yes, and a congratulatory message for Ron. All in two lines. I was speechless, hurt, flabbergasted, in shock, stunned, baffled... name it what you want, I think it's clear...

After a lot of crying I decided to send him an answer: "If that's your idea of friendship, I have no need for it. I'll make it easy for you. I break off all contact permanently. Pity it has to end this way, but this seems to be what you want. So be it." It hurt to make it so short and cold. It hurt(s) to do it at all, but I had to do it for self preservation. I can handle a lot from people I love, I accept a lot, but there are limits. People must go very far to reach them, but he did. It's over, irreversibly. But damn it, it hurts like hell!

I could give you gossip, slander or do some mudslinging and backbiting. I won't. That's not the person I am. I can't hate him (yet?). I hope he is happy. Might sound strange or misplaced but I mean it...

Castlefest and handfasting

(I've written this post more than 10 days ago, but forgot to hit "post" I think..??)

Last Saturday Ron and I went to Castlefest, a medieval/fantasy/pagan/steampunk festival in Lisse. There were a lot of market stalls, artists, musicians and other entertainment. It's a huge piece of land, so we first made a round to see everything. Most people are dressed up medieval, pagan, etc. My friend Krissy had made a beautiful blue gown for me. I had used some make-up (which I rarely do) and I really felt pretty. People even said I was radiating! With Krissy I bought a corset to wear over the dress. I always thought that made me look fat, but it didn't; it showed my... ehm... assets so to say! ;-) I also bought a beautiful black (matt) saucer with a spiral in it.

This time there was an extra reason to visit Castlefest. We were invited to attend the handfasting of two friends. They had asked Ron to take pictures. The ceremony was really beautiful. They were very nervous. They are together for 12 years and this was a wonderful confirmation of their special bond. It brought tears to my eyes, and I wasn't the only one! You can see the pictures in this album, but please note they are private and not for other use!

New Year's Wish

May the dawning of this New Year

fill your heart with new hopes

open up new horizons

and bring for you

promises of brighter tomorrows.

Have a great New Year!!!

My room and a ritual

Last Saturday three friends came to our home to do a ritual. Ron and I had cleaned the house and decorated my room to make it a bit cosier. I hung a celtic tree cloth on the bare wooden wall and put other cloths over cardboard boxes and such. The altar chest stood in the middle and I decorated the side cabinet. I put my lamp on some boxes. Last week I got this wonderful Lunar Calendar 2009 by fantasy artist Gwen Davies. I love it, so framed it and put it in a chair (afterwards I hung it on the wall).

Some time ago I decided I wanted to do a Cone of Power for a very good friend. I asked the friends we celebrated Litha with to join me. They all wanted but not everyone was able to come, so we were with the four of us. I had written the ritual, because the others aren't that experienced yet and I know our friend best. We divided the roles among us. I guided the circle from hand to hand, explained about the Cone and led the others into a guided meditation. I hadn't written anything down for the meditation; I knew what I wanted to accomplish with it, so I improvised while doing it. I think it went well, I got good reactions. The Cone of Power was very strong, we all felt it as almost touchable.

Afterwards we had diner together. Everyone had contributed something. We had chicken soup, french bread with garlic butter, Russian salad, salmon salad and a fresh salad. We were hungry and thirsty after the ritual! After diner they stayed for a while and we chatted about the ritual and other stuff. In the evening everyone went home.

Facebook

Long ago I started a Facebook profile, but somehow it disappeared. I never made a new one... until last Saturday! I heard (read) people talking (writing) about it and couldn't resist. And now I'm there every day. I found some pagan friends, Robbie fan-friends, joined some groups and so on... and on! It's so much fun, so much more to explore.

Are you on Facebook? Visit me here!

COT #19: cute kittens

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers

who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week,

hosted by Gattina.

Last week I was visiting friends who had just added four kittens to their household. They also have five other cats and two dogs. They are so adorable, I just had to share some pics I made!

They are called Gaia & Moesje (the two black ones), Jakey (all red) and Ariel (red and white).

Gaia & Moesje are from the same litter, the reds are from another litter.

Ariel is a sweetie, but she follows her red brother in any mischief he invents. :)

Sleeping on my fleece jack that fell on the floor...

Partyyyyyyyyy

My 40th birthday party last Saturday was a big success! I had the time of my life and I won't forget this evening for the rest of it. Around 50 to 60 people celebrated with me and according to the enthusiastic reactions they definitely had a good time too. Family and friends mixed and mingled.

I had asked for money because I want to get a particular meditation chair I have seen on a fair. Everyone was very generous and we have already ordered the chair; it will be available in a few weeks. I even have money left. I also got a lot of cards, flowers, Tink stuff, a 2009 calendar, a book, a selfmade "bonbonnière" with chocolates, filled medicine bag... I'm making a Slide-show of my gifts for the Thursday thirteen tomorrow.

IJs of LeukeMensen.nl took great care of the music (much Robbie of course, 80's and lots more). Singer Rudie Crossman did several performances, he's an entertainer pur sang. I have uploaded a 2 min. video to YouTube. He also sang "Proud Mary" where Ron did the low Ike-voice; unfortunately that's not on video! With Gerard (who is a Rod Stewart fan) Rudie did "Sailing" and I did a bit of singing along too. With friends I also did the backing vocals and dancing, *lol*!

About being 40, Audrey Hepburn was right: nothing changed. :-) On the party some people asked about it. My answer was: you know, I'm feeling better and happier with myself than when I was 30. Life goes on, any age!

All the pictures are in a Picasa webalbum. Enjoy!

Castlefest 2008

Last Saturday Ron and I went to Castlefest, a medieval pagan fantasy festival in the gardens of castle "De Keukenhof" in Lisse. Wonder didn't go this year and Monique couldn't come because she broke her foot, but we met lots of other friends and acquaintances. It's always a feast of recognition. The tickets for the day were sold out and the terrain was so big, that we saw most of the people only once!

There were even more stands than last year. We made several rounds. I bought a lovely wooden box with sliding lid for just €5. As my dried white sage was almost used up, I looked for a new bag. What a difference in prices! At the booth where I eventually bought the sage I looked at a beautiful leather book with handmade paper in it. I loved it, but unfortunately it was almost €90. Absolutely worth it, but a bit much for my budget!
In the Pure Fantasy tent I bought the supernatural thriller "Jachtmaan" (hunting moon) by Tisa Pescar. She signed my book for me too. I'm looking forward to reading it! At the time it's only available in Dutch.

Most people were dressed in style. I didn't feel like it, but I stared my eyes out at all the costumes. Among the public artists performed like Johannes The Fool, the Queen of Bats on stilts by Medusa, green goblins of Greenthingz and more.

The sound of the bands playing on the main stage was bad. I didn't know any of the bands except Omnia of course. Compared to last week in Luxembourg they didn't sound that good due to the bad sound on stage, pity! All day we had warm and sunny weather, but from around 6pm it started to pour. Omnia started at 8.45pm, they have no luck!
The wickerman, build by Omnia & a team from Castlefest and consecrated to the sun god, Lugh, was sacrificed during this special Omnia gig at the Pagan-night. Everyone could put something into the wickerman. A wickerman is an ancient Celtic ritual piece of art, made especially to fill with all sorts of gifts to the gods/goddesses and spirits of nature, after which it will be burned as a sacrifice. Near the end the fire was put out, but I don't understand why! Ritual fire is not meant to be put out except in case of fire hazard, but that was very unlikely with all the rain...

Everyone was wet and tired, so it was time to go home. First we brought Luna with her friend to the train station and then we headed home. A very nice and successful day!
You can see our pictures here. For a limited time you can see IJs' pictures here.

Anno Domini 1408

I'm way behind in things I want to share, but I'll catch up in my own time. ;-) I'll start with the trip to Luxemburg (from Thursday July 24th until Monday 28th).

Ron and I met the other four in Nieuwegein. We drove with two cars and left around 2pm. After a few hours we stopped at Slavante on top of the St. Pietersberg in Maastricht, a Grand Café and marl caves. We decided to go for a walk there first. IJs had been there before and could tell things about the surrounding area. Marl winning, tower ruin of Lichtenberg, caves, Our Lady of Lourdes chapel, hills and so much more. After that we drank something at the Grand Café and continued the journey. We stopped at Baraque de Fraiture in Belgium where we ate chips. It was too fat and later on I had to throw up; not nice, but a relief to get rid of it!
We arrived at 10 pm in the Youth Hostel in Luxembourg City, only to discover our room had been given away! When he made the reservation Marco had passed the message that we would be there late in the evening. Somehow the Youth Hostel messed up. Marco showed the manager the confirmation e-mail (luckily he had it on Gmail). At first the manager wasn't that friendly, but now we got excuses and something to drink. Then finally things were rearranged and we got our six-bedded room with its own shower and toilet. Everyone was irritated, angry and very tired. What a way to start the vacation... We put our stuff in the room and went to bed.

Friday we had a whole day to spend for ourselves. We decided to visit the Casemates. There are two series of casemates open to the public, the Bock and the Pétrusse. We did the Bock first. Those were individually accessible. Very interesting with amazing views. The weather outside was very warm, but the casemates were cool. The lower we came, the colder it got.
We walked to another side of the city to go to the Pétrusse casemates. This was a guided tour and we had to wait some time for the next tour. These casemates were different, but very interesting too. I liked having a tour guide, because that way we learned a lot more of it. There were a lot of steps. At the end I was knackered, but it was worth it.
After rest and a lot of drinks we decided to walk back through the gardens below. Soon I had the idea we were going a wrong way. I didn't pay attention to that, because my (non-)sense of directions is well-known. I started to worry though when Ron got the same feeling! To cut a long story short: we walked a looooong time, up and down and up and down. I was completely exhausted and dizzy when we finally reached the youth hostel.
We had dinner in the hostel: enough choice, cheap and amazingly delicious! Ron took the entrecote and I had a yummy lasagna bolognese. After dinner we went into the garden to do some archery. Afterwards the others went up to the city again, but I decided to go to bed to recuperate after a very tiring day.

Saturday was the first day of the medieval festival Anno Domini 1408. Ron wore his black shirt and I my blue medieval dress. A bit of a confrontation, because it fitted me only just. :( Again the weather was very hot, so I had to rest frequently and drink a lot. The market was smaller than last year, but still very nice to roam about. Artists like Melania, Die Streuner and Die Irrlichter brightened up the streetscape. Ron assisted strong man Georges Christen again. On the podium were performances by Poeta Magica (great music, as long as the female singer kept her mouth shut) and of course Omnia. They were performing twice. Ron and I bought their new DVD "Pagan Folk Lore". At their first performance I had to stay in the shaow, because it was too hot. For their second I had a seat under a parasol. During that show the weather got darker. Suddenly a flash of lightning and the thunder rolled. Within seconds it poured down, first rain than hail! Omnia continued to play, but all of a sudden the thunder and lightning hit somewhere and everything on the podium got dark. My back wasn't under the parasol, so it got wet and cold. After a while I started to shiver, I wanted to go home. The thunderstorm and rain hadn't stopped yet. IJs offered to get his car and pick Ron and me up, so I didn't have to walk down cold and wet. In the youth hostel I took a warm shower and felt somewhat better. We had dinner in the youth hostel again. We sat outside for a while. I decided to go to bed early this night too, the others watched the Omnia DVD.

Sundaymorning we sat on the terrace of the hostel, when we witnessed a van overriding a little pole. It got stuck under the van. Ron and IJs went over to help them and in the end the van got free.
It was the second day of the medieval festival. A lot of the stalls had damage from the thunderstorm, but they all stayed. A lot of us didn't wear medieval clothes, I didn't feel like it. Luna had asked us to buy a lambs skin. They were cheaper because some had become wet the night before. We bought one for ourselves too and a set of little lambs skin slippers for Dominique (to thank Monique for caring after the dogs and cats at home).
Omnia' performed like nothing happened the first day. Afterwards I asked them to sign our DVD and of course they did. Ron's knee ached and I was very tired, so we decided to leave the market somewhat earlier and go down to the youth hostel. Marco joined us. In the lobby I watched the final of the Tour De France and saw Sastre winning the yellow jersey. The Dutch rabobank team had the green jersey. I followed the Tour as usual, but missed the last stages. At least I could see the final.
When the others came down we went to the dining room. This time I took the entrecote (done) and it was very good. I needed some red meat. After dinner the others wanted to do archery again. Ron took a nap and I played some games on the laptop. I went to bed early.

Monday we had to check out before 10am, so we had breakfast early. Ron and I wanted to make a stop on the way home in Lier to visit our friends in the cottage where we stayed a few weeks ago. the others wanted to go abseiling first, but decided to go with us. We were all welcomed with drinks and cake. We had a great time, but Ron and I wanted to be in The Netherlands before the traffic jams would start. We were home around 6pm.

You can see all of our pictures in this album.

Some YouTube video's:
Melania with music
Omnia - Etrezomp ni Kelted
Omnia - Saltatio
Omnia - Fídhe Ra Hurí
Poeta Magica
artists together on podium

Ghost Ryder

Today Ron and I visited Wonder, who is still staying at his mom's home in Rijen. We were just in time to drive him to the specialist for a check-up on his leg. She was content, the formation of new bone tissue has started. In the next 6 weeks he can gradually put more weight on his leg (in consultation with his physiotherapist and depending on the pain he has) until he can stand on it completely. Good news!

After we left the hospital we drove to a parking place in Breda, where a very special truck stands. Last time we already went there and Ron made some pictures with his phone. He wanted to go back and take better pictures with his camera. It is a showtruck called Ghost Ryder, a Peterbilt 359 fitted with a Caterpillar 550HP and Phantom F4 Rolls Royce Viper 202 turbojet engine (12000HP) with afterburner. The owner was there too and Ron talked with him. He made a lot of pics and I took some of him next to the truck. If you click the picture below, you can visit the webalbum I made (in a new window).

Ghost Ryder

Another week

And then, before you know it, it's Wednesday again and you haven't written a post for a week. Time flies... It's not that I haven't got something to write about! :-)

I'm making my own lavender oil. I'm using the cold and slow method: lavender blossom in a jar, fill it up with peanut oil and put it in a sunny place. Daily shake and turn the jar. It already smells wonderful, but it will take some more time to be ready. Then I can sieve and bottle it. Pictures: after shaking, close-up and after a while.

Ron is working again, starting with 3 days, 4 hours. They have given him something useful to do, that makes use of his skills and experience. He's really enjoying it. It's strange to be home alone again, but I'm very happy he is so much better. I wouldn't wish such a burn-out on anyone...
Mentally he is getting there again, but unfortunately his back is playing up now. He has severe pain and got painkillers and physiotherapy twice a week. I hope it will soon be over!

Last Friday I picked up Wonder in Rijen to go shopping in Breda. He's slowly progressing, but still has a lot of pain. It's not easy, but he is making the best of it. He started a correspondence course in coaching and counselling. That will be an excellent addition to his own business. He works together with a reintegration bureau to put it on the map when he's ready and able to work again.
He really needed to get out of the house and do something else though. Breda is a wonderful city. When we walked into the city centre Wonder saw something moving on the street. It was a little tit. I carefully put it in my hands. It couldn't fly and was trembling, but otherwise it looked fine. We looked around, but couldn't find the mother, the nest or other birds. We walked into a square with grass and trees. There were other tits but also some cats, so we couldn't just put it on the ground. We asked a telephone book and called the local pet shelter. They agreed to pick up the little one at the Tourist Office, so that's were I left him behind. In the short time he had gotten used to me somehow and protested softly. The girl there was very nice and asked my mobile number. When the tit was taken away by the people of the pet shelter, she called me. My little friend was doing fine and he'll survive. Good news!
The weather was good and we had a great time. Not all shops were easily accessible for the wheelchair, but we managed okay. We lunched in an outdoor café. We bought the same book by Erika Dühnfort about Irish deity, heroes and druids. Of course we visited some "new age" shops like Chi Levenskracht (they sell the Chi essential oils, but are no longer related). For dinner we stumbled upon a wonderful tapas restaurant: Plan B. Sitting outside, looking at the people passing, we were served by the very friendly owner. The tapas were very yummy!

It had been quite a busy week, so we didn't plan much for the weekend. Nevertheless we didn't have very early nights... Saturday evening we went to Rons sister and brother-in-law in Beverwijk and were home late. Sunday evening we picked up friends at Schiphol Airport; they came home from a holiday on Crete. We stayed for a while and it was late again. :-) Fortunately I have slept a few times during the day.

Yesterday I mustered up my courage and stepped on the scales. The last few months have not been my best food-wise and that's putting it mildly. So I knew the figure on the display wouldn't exactly please me. Well, it didn't. In fact I was a bit shocked: 112 kilo (247 lbs.), aaaaarrgghh!!! I know I did that all by myself and I know what I have to do now. Not going on a crash diet, but watch my intake and make it better, more regular and healthier again. It's a lifelong assignment, or curse... Or as Garfield puts it:

PFI conference

Yesterday I went to the 8th Conference of the Pagan Federation International (PFI) Netherlands in Lunteren. Last year I couldn't go, but this year I had bought my ticket in January already. I had planned to go with Wonder, but that was before his accident. It was too tiring for me to first pick him up and then drive to Lunteren. It looked like he couldn't go, but one of the girls from the Ara group had the solution. She lives in Breda (near Rijen) and she took Wonder with her. She had to work first, so they came in the afternoon.

I had to drive for about an hour, but had trouble finding a parking space. Fortunately I was in time for the opening ritual at 10am, a special ceremony with elements from Zoro-Astrianism, old Persia and Turkey, etc. It included interesting information, a poem by Rumi and a derwish dance. Very impressive!

I met a lot of people I know: from the Witchy Girls, Ara-group, PFI-workshops, etc. I talked to a lot of them and met some new people in the process. In the big hall were stands with books, gemstones, livewood and other stuff. I didn't buy anything, but it was fun to look around. I met the Chocolate Witches; two perfect things come together, withcraft and chocolate! ;-) I knew one of them from a meeting in Haarlem.

The first workshop round I attended a workshop by Elliot Rivera. For more then 30 years he is working as a spiritualist and medium. Elliott was initiated as a Santero more than 18 years ago in New York City. He is a priest of Yemaya for 17 years, and was initiated in Palo Mayombe more than 30 years ago. The workshop was called "Connecting with the ancestors". After some interesting info he led us into a powerful guided journey to meet one of our ancestors. Afterwards some of the group shared their experiences.

The weather was very hot, so I took a break and went for a walk in the nearby wood with some others. We encountered a little snake that turned out to be a hazelworm. When we got back, I joined the people outside on the terrace in the shade.

Wonder arrived just in time to join me in a workshop about chakras by Flora. She told us some general information and showed 7 mandala drawings, her interpretations of the chakras. they were very beautiful! Then it was time to do something active. For each chakra we learned a tone to sing / hum and an exercise to activate each chakra. Nice experience!

After another hour outside, talking, drinking, etc. Wonder and I attended a workshop by Marian Green: "Spells, charms and chants". I really like her way of teaching, very clear and down-to-earth with a good dose of humor. As always I learned a lot! In June she will be in Amsterdam again for a weekend workshop; I'm already looking forward to it!

The closing ceremony was performed by Ina Cüsters-van Bergen, the Magister Templi of the Temple of Starlight, and people from her temple. She studied occultism at the Servants of the Light school for Occult Sciences, and is fully initiated in the Golden Dawn tradition. Ina is senior supervisor for the Servants of the Light in Europe. The closing ritual was called "Re-membering of Osiris", ceremonial ritual with beautiful costumes and devoted performance.

For dinner we had an Indonesian buffet, very delicious! In the evening there was entertainment in the big hall with the band Stargazer. We were sitting outside, where it was much cooler! Wonder and I concluded the evening with a yummy Italian ice cream. I had to walk a few minutes to my car, but the weather was still lovely. In about an hour I drove home.