Birthday and other things

Time to catch up... My birthday was good. Yes, there were tears for Leo, but that was okay. I gave his picture a prominent place in the room. For Joke it was a sad day too of course, but she came early and I think she had a good time with all the guests. It beats sitting home alone and crying I hope.

I was happy to share both the sadness and the joy with my friends and family. It was busy, but not too much. I had asked money because I wanted to save for a good speedbike. Although I also got some lovely presents I had enough money to buy the bike I wanted. Yesterday we went to get it. Ron assembled it right away. I tried it for a while, but I'm still a bit weak. Last week I had a nasty cold, flu, virus or whatever it was. I feel a lot better, but it goes away slowly. Unfortunately I infected Ron, so now it's his turn to feel lousy and my turn to play nurse.

Last Saturday I had a wonderful get-together on the Veluwe. I was invited to an early Mabon ritual. The Lowland Systers and my coven were invited, so I saw quite a few familiar faces. I also got to know some other lovely women and a man. It was an eclectic group that went very well together. It felt warm, welcoming and strong. The ritual was beautiful. The surroundings were lit by candles. The weather had been very wet last week but we had dry weather with open skies and a gorgeous moon looking down on us. Magical... I was home very late and very tired, but it was worth it for sure!

Firsts

Today is my sister's birthday. The first time without Leo. She didn't celebrate her birthday, but of course I went to see her. She was very emotional, and so was I. Because Leo had his birthday only a few weeks later, they mostly celebrated the two birthdays together on Leo's in October. Last year Joke celebrated her own birthday. The last with Leo, as if it had to be that way. He was surrounded by friends and family, although we didn't know it was the last time...

This week my old "auntie" Rie died suddenly in her home; she was almost 81. She wasn't really an aunt, but the mother of my brother's childhood friend and their family became friends with mine. Through the years she was always there; sometimes every week, sometimes a few times a year. Modern, spontaneous, optimistic, loving... She was a wonderful woman and will be missed dearly by many. Today I got the announcement in the post. On top was a rainbow and the translations of the first lines of "Look for me in rainbows" by Vicky Brown, which was one of the songs on my mother's cremation. Again, tears...

Next Wednesday I'll have my birthday. It will be an ambivalent day. I will have a party, but it will also be exactly a year ago that Leo so unexpectedly died. I can't help but thinking about it. I know he would want me to celebrate my birthday as always. I'll try, but this first time it won't be completely 'as always' and in a way it will never be. I think about him every day and miss him, but certain days are significant whether we like it or not. Nevertheless, life goes on and so must we... I know I won't keep it dry next week though.

These 'firsts' are difficult. It will get 'easier', the raw pain and grief will soften. I know. Still, I hate these 'firsts'!

Awards

The 2010 Top Paganism Blog Awards are organised by Online PhD Programs and BestBloggers. Awards candidates are selected using audience nominations. The list of nominations is then filtered through to produce a list of award candidates. Each blog on this list is then scored by a panel of 5 judges. Each judge rates each blog across 20 different attributes providing it with a ‘subjective’ score. These ratings are combined into an aggregate, and the aggregates of the 5 judges are averaged to give the blog its final rating. The ratings are then compared, and awards are given out to blogs in the 99% percentile (meaning the top 1% of blogs receive awards). The award winners for the paganism category were announced on August 17, 2010. I was surprised but very honoured to hear ~*~Tinkerbell~*~ is one of the top 35 paganism blogs! There are very interesting other blogs on the list too; I'm using the list to explore new blogs.
Thanks for nominating me!!

~*~*~*~

Greenwheel from Green Witch Ways has bestowed upon me an award for a blog with substance! See her post here. Wow, thank you! I am flattered and again very honoured.

The rules for the award are :
1. Thank the blogger that gave you the award -
Thank you GreenWheel! Your blog does definitely deserve the award too!
2. Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, experience, using 10 words. -
Pfew, only 10? Sorry, no can do...
• no obligations (write whenever I want & whatever I want)
• personal (it's not an info only blog, but a personal account)
• pagan (I'm pagan so my blog is pagan)
• interesting (I write for myself, but I hope others find it interesting too)
• etc.... fill in your own idea about my blog
3. Pass the award on to 10 other blogs you feel have substance. -
Let's see how far I get:..
• Lyn at Witch Blog
• Suzie at Suzie Ridler
• Dori at From A Yellow House In England
• Lily at Irresistible Secrets
• Renny at RennyBA's Terella
• Vixen at Vixen's Den
Visit them, they deserve it! :-)

Castlefest and handfasting

(I've written this post more than 10 days ago, but forgot to hit "post" I think..??)

Last Saturday Ron and I went to Castlefest, a medieval/fantasy/pagan/steampunk festival in Lisse. There were a lot of market stalls, artists, musicians and other entertainment. It's a huge piece of land, so we first made a round to see everything. Most people are dressed up medieval, pagan, etc. My friend Krissy had made a beautiful blue gown for me. I had used some make-up (which I rarely do) and I really felt pretty. People even said I was radiating! With Krissy I bought a corset to wear over the dress. I always thought that made me look fat, but it didn't; it showed my... ehm... assets so to say! ;-) I also bought a beautiful black (matt) saucer with a spiral in it.

This time there was an extra reason to visit Castlefest. We were invited to attend the handfasting of two friends. They had asked Ron to take pictures. The ceremony was really beautiful. They were very nervous. They are together for 12 years and this was a wonderful confirmation of their special bond. It brought tears to my eyes, and I wasn't the only one! You can see the pictures in this album, but please note they are private and not for other use!

Congratulations to Rob & Ayda!

Rob and Ayda got married yesterday at his LA mansion. They planned to marry somewhere else, but some stupid guest couldn't keep his/her mouth shut and leaked to the press. I hope they had a wonderful wedding, the most beautiful day of their lifes, that they'll look back at for years to come. I'm so glad for Rob he finally found the love of his life and Ayda is one lucky lady! ;-) I wish them all the best and a lot of privacy away from the paparazzi!

About Rob re-joining Take That... I'm still not decided about the reunion. For Rob it seems to be what he wants, so then basically it's fine with me. But he is so much more than Take That and I'm afraid we'll miss a lot of that... I never really was a huge TT-fan, so maybe that plays a part too. I like Take That, I love Robbie Williams; that's the difference.

Back from Lier

We're back from a two weeks vacation in Lier, Belgium. We stayed at a private paradise of friends in the middle of nature and had a great time. The weather was very hot, but we also had some cooler (well, less hot...) days with an occasional shower. This was our third year there, but it will never become boring.

The dogs had a great time too, living outdoors most of the time. Foofur knew it, but it was Arwen's first time there. She enjoyed it fully, and so did Foof! Running free, rolling in the grass, dozing in the sun... On our walks along the river Nete they met horses, donkeys, cows, rabbits, birds... Arwen went swimming in the river. I panicked a bit when she went into the flow, but she is a great swimmer. She dawdled to come back. :)

We  buried Boris' ashes on a partly hidden spot on the property. He enjoyed it there sooo much and it was the last place where he was happy. We made a circle of stones to mark it. He's at a good place. We buried his ashes, but Boris will always live in our hearts.

We visited the famous Zimmer Tower in Lier for the first time. Of course we had made pics before on the outside, but we decided to do the complete tour and it was very interesting! We also did some shopping and sightseeing. Lier is a beautiful old city.

We like flea markets and the like a lot. It is always nice to visit one outside our own area. In Belgium we visited one jumble sale around a church and two huge car boot sales. Our last full vacation day was the Belgian National Holiday, so we could choose which one to visit!

There was a lot of chamomile in the meadows nearby, so Ron sneaked behind the fences and picked a big bunch (see picture on top of this post). I infused the chamomile flowers in oil and put it in the sun. It's sitting in the kitchen windowsill at home now.

All in all we had a wonderful time, our batteries are recharged!

Comment moderation

Much to my regret I have just changed my settings to moderate all comments on my blog. I don't like it (at all!), but lately the spam comments with hazardous links are numerous. I delete them as soon as I spot them, but it doesn't help. I hope moderating will keep them away. If you have other tips, feel free to share!

Please don't let it stop you from commenting; your comments are always very welcome!

The Complete Walt Disney World 2010

No, I haven't been to Disney World. I wish! I'm afraid our budget doesn't allow it at the moment, but I'm sure we will one day. We will definitely take this book with us!

Recently I joined NetGalley, an inexpensive and green way for publishers to share their digital galleys securely. Professional readers (reviewers, media, bloggers, journalists, librarians, booksellers and educators) can all use NetGalley for free to read and request galleys they want to review. The review is totally independent, so you can be honest if you don't like the book too. There are categories to choose from and other search options. There's a wide range of galleys available. I downloaded Adobe Digital Editions (also free) to read the books, but most publishers also have files for a Kindle. I had to get used to reading on the computer, but with the laptop it's okay. I'd love to have an e-reader though, or even better: an iPad.

The first book I requested was "The Complete Walt Disney World 2010", the only independent Disney guide ever honoured by the Walt Disney Company. It's the winner of Disney's iParenting Media Award for Outstanding Family Product. Other honours include Travel Guide of the Year and Nonfiction Book of the Year. That sounds very promising, but of course I had to see it for myself.

I browsed the pages first to get an overall impression. Then I dived in and read articles and reviews, watched gorgeous pictures, etc. The guide can help you to organise your visit beforehand with all info you can think of. When there it can help you find your way. It is easy accessible and easy to find anything you want or need. For me it was easy to imagine I was there. I like to travel by book or internet and this is a great book to do just that. I went for rides, visited Epcot, booked a beautiful room and located Tinker Bell (who else? *lol*). It provided me with lots of pleasure.
So if you think about visiting, already planned to go or want to take a virtual tour like I did... this is the guide you need!

Happy Birthday, Arwen!

Arwen is 1 year old today! Happy Birthday, sweetie! Unbelievable how fast this year has gone by. I remember holding her for the first time. So small, smaller than Foofur, but with those huge paws. She's grown into the size of her paws now. Still cute, still a puppy, full of misschief though, playful and happy. I can write about her for pages and pages long, but I'll let the pictures speak. Look at her first year in pictures on Facebook or Hyves (same pics, resp. English and Dutch comments). Enjoy!

Litha and more

Last Monday I had a very special Litha celebration with my coven. I really feel welcome there. I like them and I think they like me. :) Anyway, I have found my path back again. I feel at ease and confident about it. I can't share everything here. That's a pity, but that's just the way it is. I'll still share whatever I can.

Last year after I left the Temple of Ara I really felt bad, out of balance and lost. Now I can see it as something in the past. Phyllis Curott will always be dear to me and I've learned great things while working with her. I'm proud to have had her as a teacher. And a terrific part of the legacy is a group of wonderful women to work with, the Lowland Systers.

This is the robe I made for the Litha celebration. As you know I'm not a sewing-star (that's a huge understatement...) so I had help from Wonder and Ron. I have two belts: one straight and one braided (what a work!). The fabric (100% cotton) was white originally, but I decided to dye it. A bit of a gamble, but it turned out just the way I hoped it would! I bought the shawl some time ago and the colour fit perfectly.

And the winner is...

Mike, you've just won a free copy of 'Learning To Stand'! Congratulations! Please e-mail me your home address, so Claudia can send you your prize. Enjoy!

Learning To Stand

Last year I let Claudia Hall Christian hijack my blog to promote her fabulous novel The Fey (see blogpost). Now it's time to let you know about the second novel in this series: Learning To Stand. I read it a few weeks ago. I was really looking forward to see how Alex' story would continue and I wasn't disappointed in any way. If you liked The Fey, you'll like Learning To Stand. I love both!

After all Alex Hargreaves has been through everyone expects her to move on. That's not as easy as they make it sound though... Alex struggles to get back on her feet. Meanwhile the world around her doesn't stand still. Things happen around her and she has to get herself together. She's the only chance of survival for a little kid. With the courage of despair she leads her team into a very dangerous encounter.

The book grabbed me and I couldn't lay it down. Page after page I wanted to read to know what would happen next. Indeed, a page-turner par excellence. Interested? Claudia is offering you a 20% discount on all of her books. Use discount code "BLOGTOUR" in her Create Space store. Learning To Stand is also available at Amazon, but it's not possible to offer the discount there.

But it gets even better! If you comment on this blog post you are automatically entered to win a FREE copy of Learning To Stand. I will wait until the beginning of next week to give you some time. Just like last year I'll put the names of the commenters on little papers and pick one blindly, so... take your chance and leave a comment!
Claudia will be checking in and answer your questions.

Some links to visit:
On A Limb With Claudia - Claudia's blog
Stories by Claudia
AlexTheFey - home of the Alex the Fey thriller series
Denver Cereal - serial fiction by Claudia

Herbal fun again

Today I made a wonderful walk in the dunes with Foofur & Arwen. While they were walking around me I picked some red poppy (papaver rhoeas), not the opium poppy: that's papaver somniferum. Back home I put them in alcohol, oil and hot water (separately). Internally poppy helps against coughs, throat aches, hemorrhage, nervousness and insomnia. In external application it has a soothing and moisturising effect on the skin.

I love my herbal experiments. I have made quite a few. At the moment this is my window sill in the kitchen:

From left to right: herbal vinegar, lemon balm oil infusion, poppy tincture, echinacea root tincture, rosemary oil infusion, poppy oil infusion, valerian root tincture and poppy water infusion. On the far right is water with gemstones.

Ceramic art

Some time ago I noticed a picture on Flickr by Suzie Ridler that showed a lovely ceramic bowl. I did some searching and ended up at Etsy. De Baun Fine Ceramics sells beautiful handcrafted bowls, incense burners and more. They have all been created by artist Diane De Baun. She has been working with clay since the early 80’s. Her websites are full of wonderful ceramic art, so it was hard to choose! After a while I had narrowed down my list to two bowls. I couldn't decide, so I just ordered both! Last week they arrived and I love them! The left one with cats and triple moon is 4 inches in diameter, the right one 4 1/2. I've put them on my altar.

Do you want to shop for yourself? Here are the links:
De Baun Fine Ceramics - website
De Baun Fine Ceramics - Etsy Store

Busy(ness)

The last months have been tough. Ron officially lost his job on May 1st. We knew that beforehand, so we acted early to get all the paperwork and applications done in time. To cut a long story short: we did the right thing but the social security authority made a mess of it and sent us from pillar to post. I'll spare you the details, but it was very frustrating. We've had quite some weeks... Both depressed and desperate, but somewhere deep within determined to overcome this. And it looks like we are finally on a winning streak. We aren't there yet, not by a long shot, but I'm moderately positive.

Despite his qualifications and experience it isn't easy for Ron to find another job, because he is too old at 45. Unbelievable, isn't it? He had to think about what he would want to do first. That took a while to figure out. Some time ago we talked with my brother and he suggested that Ron would start his own business. Ron worked out the idea and we did some research. The social security authority agrees the plan is good enough to give it a try! So now we are at the beginning of a new path. It will take time to bring it about, but that's okay. At least we can work towards a positive future again!