Monday, May 30, 2011
Results
The cardiologist just called. There was nothing wrong with my 48 hours ECG or any of the other tests. My basic heartrate is somewhat higher than average, but no problems, no arrhythmia, nothing out of the ordinary. Now I'm torn between being happy (nothing wrong, yay!) and feeling disappointed with this unsatisfactory answer (I feel lousy, what IS wrong than, damn it?!). The heart specialist will report to my GP and that's it for now. I feel a bit numb...
Sunday, May 22, 2011
PFI Conference 2011
Finally some time to write about the Pagan Federation International (PFI) Conference in Lunteren last week!
I arrived just in time for the opening ritual performed by Rufus & Melissa Harrington. After that I said hello to friends from the Lowland Systers, my coven, the Olympia studygroup, other workshops, etc. The yearly PFI Conference is always a great place to meet a lot of people I know and to get to know others.
The first workshop I went to was by Gerry Damen about energetic protection. Of course I know a bit about the subject, but the way she presented it was enlightening. The story behind energetic protection and why/when we need it, the different ways people use, how we can improve our own method, etc. Very interesting! We also did some exercises.
On the workshop schedule was an item that intrigued me, because I know very little about it: Enochia. It was given by Rufus Harrington. He is a Wiccan High Priest and initiate of the Western Mysteries who has spent many years studying Elizabethan magic. He has reconstructed the rituals of that era's most famous mage, Dr John Dee, using Dee's original manuscripts, and related documents. A renowned expert on Elizabethan magic, he teaches Enochia throughout Europe. He told about his own acquaintance with Enochia. He talked about John Dee and Edward Kelley and their work together. A lot of practices we use today originally come from the Enochian system of magic. Rufus let us call the quarters with the original text in Enochian, which isn't easy to pronounce I might add! It felt very powerful though.
The next workshop was something completely different: Vincent Ongkowidjojo about the Nine Worlds in the Northern Tradition. He has an interesting view on the nine worlds and how we see them today. I bought his Dutch book about Runes in the Northern Tradition. He has also written a book in English: Secrets of Asgard.
Taloch Jameson gave a workshop Drumming Meditation. He expresses his paganism through music with his band, The Dolmen, and through being a ceremonial facilitator with the multi-path Dolmen Grove which he formed in the early 1990s. He told about the magical history of the island of Portland off the Dorset coast of the UK. He chanted with us and let us feel the power of drumming in meditation. The workshop was over way too soon, I would have loved to hear more of him!
The last workshop I wanted to attend was by Alruin of Mandragora. When I got into the room, incense was burning. Somehow it got to me heavily. Within a few minutes I started to feel uncomfortable and sweaty. I decided to leave. Pity I had to, the workshop sounded very intriguing! In the hallway a friend picked me up and took me outside where I felt better in no time.
In between the workshops I visited the little market in the big hall.
I bought cotton tape for my new robe at the stall of Feuersprung, a German shop with a great assortment of ritual stuff. They had brought a lot of tape, but also gorgeous statues.
From GardenStone I bought his book Het Mercurius-Wodan complex.
I also browsed through the other stalls with books, stones/crystals, incense and a lot more!
The closing ritual was performed by Rufus & Melissa Harrington. It involved some kind of maypole dance. I didn't join in, because I still didn't feel great, but I enjoyed it from the edge of the room. I shared in the energy, which was very joyful and exuberant.
Ron arrived just in time for dinner, a wonderful and yummy Indonesian Buffet. During the closing ritual he bought me a beautiful gift: the statue of Herne I admired earlier at the Feuersprung stall! I love it!!
In the evening a storm was coming, a musical storm in the appearance of the English band The Dolmen! We had seen them on the Elf Fantasy Fair and Ron decided to come for this gig. Their performance was great! The audience was very enthusiastic and the dancefloor was crammed all night. I've put some Dolmen pics in a Facebook album.
I arrived just in time for the opening ritual performed by Rufus & Melissa Harrington. After that I said hello to friends from the Lowland Systers, my coven, the Olympia studygroup, other workshops, etc. The yearly PFI Conference is always a great place to meet a lot of people I know and to get to know others.
The first workshop I went to was by Gerry Damen about energetic protection. Of course I know a bit about the subject, but the way she presented it was enlightening. The story behind energetic protection and why/when we need it, the different ways people use, how we can improve our own method, etc. Very interesting! We also did some exercises.
On the workshop schedule was an item that intrigued me, because I know very little about it: Enochia. It was given by Rufus Harrington. He is a Wiccan High Priest and initiate of the Western Mysteries who has spent many years studying Elizabethan magic. He has reconstructed the rituals of that era's most famous mage, Dr John Dee, using Dee's original manuscripts, and related documents. A renowned expert on Elizabethan magic, he teaches Enochia throughout Europe. He told about his own acquaintance with Enochia. He talked about John Dee and Edward Kelley and their work together. A lot of practices we use today originally come from the Enochian system of magic. Rufus let us call the quarters with the original text in Enochian, which isn't easy to pronounce I might add! It felt very powerful though.
The next workshop was something completely different: Vincent Ongkowidjojo about the Nine Worlds in the Northern Tradition. He has an interesting view on the nine worlds and how we see them today. I bought his Dutch book about Runes in the Northern Tradition. He has also written a book in English: Secrets of Asgard.
Taloch Jameson gave a workshop Drumming Meditation. He expresses his paganism through music with his band, The Dolmen, and through being a ceremonial facilitator with the multi-path Dolmen Grove which he formed in the early 1990s. He told about the magical history of the island of Portland off the Dorset coast of the UK. He chanted with us and let us feel the power of drumming in meditation. The workshop was over way too soon, I would have loved to hear more of him!
The last workshop I wanted to attend was by Alruin of Mandragora. When I got into the room, incense was burning. Somehow it got to me heavily. Within a few minutes I started to feel uncomfortable and sweaty. I decided to leave. Pity I had to, the workshop sounded very intriguing! In the hallway a friend picked me up and took me outside where I felt better in no time.
In between the workshops I visited the little market in the big hall.
I bought cotton tape for my new robe at the stall of Feuersprung, a German shop with a great assortment of ritual stuff. They had brought a lot of tape, but also gorgeous statues.
From GardenStone I bought his book Het Mercurius-Wodan complex.
I also browsed through the other stalls with books, stones/crystals, incense and a lot more!
The closing ritual was performed by Rufus & Melissa Harrington. It involved some kind of maypole dance. I didn't join in, because I still didn't feel great, but I enjoyed it from the edge of the room. I shared in the energy, which was very joyful and exuberant.
Ron arrived just in time for dinner, a wonderful and yummy Indonesian Buffet. During the closing ritual he bought me a beautiful gift: the statue of Herne I admired earlier at the Feuersprung stall! I love it!!
In the evening a storm was coming, a musical storm in the appearance of the English band The Dolmen! We had seen them on the Elf Fantasy Fair and Ron decided to come for this gig. Their performance was great! The audience was very enthusiastic and the dancefloor was crammed all night. I've put some Dolmen pics in a Facebook album.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Berner Sennen meeting
Last Sunday there was another Berner Sennen (Bernese Mountaindog) meeting in Hoofddorp. Although I was tired from the day before (more about that later) I'm very glad we went. Arwen had a great time and so did we.
One of the Berner Sennen owners, Hermien Stok, presented her second children's book about Berner Sennen dogs. What better place to do that than on a lawn surrounded by Berner Sennen dogs? You can find her books here (along with other great Berner Sennen stuff!).
After the presentation we made a walk around the pond. Of course Arwen was the first to go into the water, she loves to swim. Ron made a lot of pics, I've put them in an online album. Click on the pic below to go to the album.
One of the Berner Sennen owners, Hermien Stok, presented her second children's book about Berner Sennen dogs. What better place to do that than on a lawn surrounded by Berner Sennen dogs? You can find her books here (along with other great Berner Sennen stuff!).
After the presentation we made a walk around the pond. Of course Arwen was the first to go into the water, she loves to swim. Ron made a lot of pics, I've put them in an online album. Click on the pic below to go to the album.
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| Bernermeeting Hoofddorp |
Thursday, May 12, 2011
My heart
Last Monday I had an appointment with the heart specialist. A very nice lady, kind and efficient. An ECG was made and I had to do a test on the hometrainer. Nothing strange could be seen. The last time I suffered from my heart problems there was a doctor present. She immediately noted what was happening: atrium fibrillation. It is not good, but not too serious either and not life-threatening in itself, but it is very uncomfortable and increases the risk of other heart problems.
The cardiologist gave me a portable device to monitor my heart for 48 hours from Monday to Wednesday. It made a 48 hour ECG on a digital storage card. Unfortunately (well, under these circumstances...) I didn't have another serious problem, although I had a few times that my heart started racing and I felt bad. I discovered the symptoms start coming when I'm standing still for some time. Exertion doesn't trigger the problems, but standing still does. Strange! I have written down my experiences and handed them in with the device.
The doctor will call me with the results on May 30th. I'm curious, we'll see...
The cardiologist gave me a portable device to monitor my heart for 48 hours from Monday to Wednesday. It made a 48 hour ECG on a digital storage card. Unfortunately (well, under these circumstances...) I didn't have another serious problem, although I had a few times that my heart started racing and I felt bad. I discovered the symptoms start coming when I'm standing still for some time. Exertion doesn't trigger the problems, but standing still does. Strange! I have written down my experiences and handed them in with the device.
The doctor will call me with the results on May 30th. I'm curious, we'll see...
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Blessed Beltane!
Dew Kissed and Beltane Blessed
(a poem by Bendis)
hawthorn gathered in the may
atop a tree of birch
gaily blowing in the wind
rainbow ribbons spin
queen of may, jack o'green
bless the fields and land
lively dancing kissing twirling
ribbons in the hand
king making, goddess blessed
sacred vows of ancient days
wrapping ribbons round the pole
dance the sacred ways
spread the grass make a bed
lay upon the land
spill the seed bless the night
lovers hand in hand
come my love, walk with me
we'll lay upon the grass
our love to bless this night
and watch the moonlight pass
dew kissed, we shall awake
Have a Blessed Beltane! And to my friends in the Southern Hemisphere: have a Blessed Samhain!
In a minute I'm off to a Beltane celebration and ritual with my coven. How are you celebrating Beltane (or Samhain) this year?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
A little update
I've been wanting to write a post almost every day in the last two weeks, but somehow every time something got in the way. A little update...
The finances for Ron's business are finally done. The normal banks weren't interested, didn't even take a look at the businessplan. We don't have personal money to invest, so the verdict was an established fact: not interested. We didn't give up and turned to Qredits, the only nationwide operating microfinance institution in The Netherlands. We got a visit of one of their business advisors and he liked the idea and plans. Finally, after almost a year of pursuing this goal, the business can really start.
Sounds good, huh? It is, really! But from that moment on eveything seemed to be doomed. Whatever we did, it all backfired. Whatever we started went wrong. It would be too much to spell it all out, but man... it was exhausting and undermining our motivation. But again... we won't give up! Things can only get better... Luctor et Emergo! ;-)
I haven't been feeling very well the past weeks. Something went wrong with my heart and blood pressure medication (my fault). Last week after I went countrydancing I collapsed at home. My heart rate and blood pressure were skyhigh. I really felt very bad. My medication is okay again, but still my heart is racing regularly and my blood pressure is too high even in rest. I'll have to make a doctor's appointment next week. Perhaps my medications have to be adapted; they all interact. We'll see.
Last saturday we went to the Elf Fantasy Fair in Haarzuilens, a festival for fantasylovers, pagans, live action role play (larp), re-enactment, etc. with great music, stands, workshops, lectures and more on the grounds of Castle De Haar. We had a great time! You can see our pictures in my Picasa webalbum:
The finances for Ron's business are finally done. The normal banks weren't interested, didn't even take a look at the businessplan. We don't have personal money to invest, so the verdict was an established fact: not interested. We didn't give up and turned to Qredits, the only nationwide operating microfinance institution in The Netherlands. We got a visit of one of their business advisors and he liked the idea and plans. Finally, after almost a year of pursuing this goal, the business can really start.
Sounds good, huh? It is, really! But from that moment on eveything seemed to be doomed. Whatever we did, it all backfired. Whatever we started went wrong. It would be too much to spell it all out, but man... it was exhausting and undermining our motivation. But again... we won't give up! Things can only get better... Luctor et Emergo! ;-)
I haven't been feeling very well the past weeks. Something went wrong with my heart and blood pressure medication (my fault). Last week after I went countrydancing I collapsed at home. My heart rate and blood pressure were skyhigh. I really felt very bad. My medication is okay again, but still my heart is racing regularly and my blood pressure is too high even in rest. I'll have to make a doctor's appointment next week. Perhaps my medications have to be adapted; they all interact. We'll see.
Last saturday we went to the Elf Fantasy Fair in Haarzuilens, a festival for fantasylovers, pagans, live action role play (larp), re-enactment, etc. with great music, stands, workshops, lectures and more on the grounds of Castle De Haar. We had a great time! You can see our pictures in my Picasa webalbum:
Elf Fantasy Fair
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Reiki Master
Friday morning I got my Reiki 3rd degree attunement / initiation together with 4 others. It was a very intense experience for me and very emotional. Water kept running from my eyes and it weren't tears, a strange feeling! My body felt very heavy, but not uncomfortable. Afterwards I couldn't stop yawning.
After lunch we immediately started giving 1st and 2nd degree attunements to a group of people. Attunement is hard work for me. I got energy from it but my body was exhausted. I'll have to be creative to find a good way for me to do this, but that shouldn't be a problem. The Reiki Master gave me some tips already. It was a long, but very instructive and nice day. After taking my time with studying I can finally call myself a Reiki Master!
Monday, April 04, 2011
Berner Sennen Beach Walk
Yesterday Ron and I went with Arwen to an organized walk on the beach of Noordwijk with 50 to 60 Berner Sennen (Bernese Mountain) dogs from all over The Netherlands. For us it wasn't far, just a 45 min. drive. The weather forecast had been very bad for this afternoon, but fortunately they were all wrong! It was dry, quite warm and even sunny from time to time. Almost perfect conditions for dogs on the beach. We didn't bring Foofur this time. The beach is not his favourite and we had already been to the IJmuiden beach the day before. Of course Arwen had a blast! We walked along the beach near the sea. She loves the water and was soaking wet in no time. We enjoyed ourselves very much, but at the end we were dog-tired! ;-))
I've put our pics in an album here.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Magical Realms stampset
I collect stamps, Dutch stamps, but when I came across this beautiful British set I simply couldn't resist.
The set is called Magical Realms and features worldfamous magical characters: Rincewind & Gytha Ogg (Terry Pratchett's Discworld series), Dumbledore & Voldemort (J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series), Merlin & Morgan Le Fay (Arthurian legend) and Aslan & The White Witch (The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis). My compliments to the Royal Mail for this amazing issue!
Want them too? I ordered directly on the Royal Mail website.
Want them too? I ordered directly on the Royal Mail website.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Booktip: WyrdWood - The Story of Dusty Miller
description:
"Dusty Miller 13th is an English Shaman and Folk Magician. He is descended from the aboriginal inhabitants of Britain, the Elfin tribes who dwelt in the primeval forest before the Celtic invasions. He carries the traditions and wisdom of his Elfin ancestors through into the modern day. In this book, written with the consent and active co-operation of Dusty and his family, Dusty's relationship with the Ancient Tree Spirits known as Dryads is explained, along with the manner in which he gathers LiveWood from the Dryads – wood which still contains a living, sentient spirit – and crafts it into magical tools, such as wands, staves, cudgels and pendants. These LiveWood artifacts are items possessed of powerful and ancient Magick, with an emphasis upon healing, protection and becoming successful in life."
Monday, March 14, 2011
Relaxing yurt weekend
I got to know the yurts in Otterlo when I spent two weekends there with the Lowland Systers last year in March and November. When Ron heard my stories and saw the pics he said he would like to go there too!
So last weekend we stayed in a yurt with 3 friends and we had a great time. We all needed the peace and quiet after days/weeks/months of stress and other stuff. The weather cooperated nicely, it was dry and sunny. Ron and I drove to the yurt friday afternoon, the others arrived in the evening.
Saturday we woke up slowly and spent the day doing whatever we felt like! The men did some archery, I went for a walk in the woods, we all relaxed and enjoyed ourselves. In the afternoon the hottub was fired up. The men tried it first (very hot!), later in the evening the ladies joined them. In between we had a barbecue! After soaking and relaxing in the hottub we went back into the yurt. I slept a lot and very well!
On Sunday we had another quiet morning. Slowly we started packing and clearing out stuff. In the afternoon we drove home after a wonderful weekend with friends, fun and relaxation. Just what the doctor ordered! ;-)
So last weekend we stayed in a yurt with 3 friends and we had a great time. We all needed the peace and quiet after days/weeks/months of stress and other stuff. The weather cooperated nicely, it was dry and sunny. Ron and I drove to the yurt friday afternoon, the others arrived in the evening.
Saturday we woke up slowly and spent the day doing whatever we felt like! The men did some archery, I went for a walk in the woods, we all relaxed and enjoyed ourselves. In the afternoon the hottub was fired up. The men tried it first (very hot!), later in the evening the ladies joined them. In between we had a barbecue! After soaking and relaxing in the hottub we went back into the yurt. I slept a lot and very well!
On Sunday we had another quiet morning. Slowly we started packing and clearing out stuff. In the afternoon we drove home after a wonderful weekend with friends, fun and relaxation. Just what the doctor ordered! ;-)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Duke Taylor
I learned about Duke Taylor through his Facebook-page. He was a wonderful dog with a heart condition. On his page he raised awareness and tried to help other dogs in every way possible. Every day I checked in to see how Duke was doing, to look for new pictures and/or causes.Unfortunately Duke lost his fight on March 4th. He has crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge. In the end he didn’t suffer and had the chance to spend the night with all of the family, one more time. Just like Duke, his tail was wagging and he was licking anyone who would be near. He was a fighter and kind soul. He was a champion, a very special dog. His family is hoping to keep his spirit alive and The Duke Nation (all of us fans and supporters) is keen to do so. His page will be continued to spread the word about animal causes and help other animals in need.
RIP dear Duke, you won't be forgotten!
I donated $ 10 in loving memory of Duke to help other dogs in need.
If you're willing and able it would be great if you do so too.
Any amount is welcome! Thank you.
Monday, March 07, 2011
BF but not Forever...
Once there was a man I called my best friend (after Ron of course) but no more... His ideas about friendship turned out to be very different from mine. How mistaken could I be...
We have been friends for quite some years. Last year he finally found the love of his life. I couldn't be happier for him! Of course that changed the friendship a bit, but that was to be expected and fine with me. The contact was less frequent, but our bond seemed as strong as it had always been. At the end of January I went to visit him for a day and we had a wonderful day together. A few days later he called, panic-stricken by a certain problem. Ron and I talked to him and calmed him down a bit. I was worried, but he said he'd go to his girlfriend so he would be okay. I asked him to let me know how it would work out.
After this I didn't hear anything from him for weeks. I tried to call several times, several numbers. Nothing! I was confused, but decided to give it some time. He obviously needed that. I sent him an invitation to Ron's birthday, like we did to all our friends. He didn't show up, didn't call, no card, nothing... Last Saturday I sent him a normal e-mail, asking him what was going on. I was still worried. Yesterday evening I got a short and cold answer. He had no use for other people's misery. He would contact me again when he would be in need for it. O yes, and a congratulatory message for Ron. All in two lines. I was speechless, hurt, flabbergasted, in shock, stunned, baffled... name it what you want, I think it's clear...
After a lot of crying I decided to send him an answer: "If that's your idea of friendship, I have no need for it. I'll make it easy for you. I break off all contact permanently. Pity it has to end this way, but this seems to be what you want. So be it." It hurt to make it so short and cold. It hurt(s) to do it at all, but I had to do it for self preservation. I can handle a lot from people I love, I accept a lot, but there are limits. People must go very far to reach them, but he did. It's over, irreversibly. But damn it, it hurts like hell!
I could give you gossip, slander or do some mudslinging and backbiting. I won't. That's not the person I am. I can't hate him (yet?). I hope he is happy. Might sound strange or misplaced but I mean it...
We have been friends for quite some years. Last year he finally found the love of his life. I couldn't be happier for him! Of course that changed the friendship a bit, but that was to be expected and fine with me. The contact was less frequent, but our bond seemed as strong as it had always been. At the end of January I went to visit him for a day and we had a wonderful day together. A few days later he called, panic-stricken by a certain problem. Ron and I talked to him and calmed him down a bit. I was worried, but he said he'd go to his girlfriend so he would be okay. I asked him to let me know how it would work out.
After this I didn't hear anything from him for weeks. I tried to call several times, several numbers. Nothing! I was confused, but decided to give it some time. He obviously needed that. I sent him an invitation to Ron's birthday, like we did to all our friends. He didn't show up, didn't call, no card, nothing... Last Saturday I sent him a normal e-mail, asking him what was going on. I was still worried. Yesterday evening I got a short and cold answer. He had no use for other people's misery. He would contact me again when he would be in need for it. O yes, and a congratulatory message for Ron. All in two lines. I was speechless, hurt, flabbergasted, in shock, stunned, baffled... name it what you want, I think it's clear...
After a lot of crying I decided to send him an answer: "If that's your idea of friendship, I have no need for it. I'll make it easy for you. I break off all contact permanently. Pity it has to end this way, but this seems to be what you want. So be it." It hurt to make it so short and cold. It hurt(s) to do it at all, but I had to do it for self preservation. I can handle a lot from people I love, I accept a lot, but there are limits. People must go very far to reach them, but he did. It's over, irreversibly. But damn it, it hurts like hell!
I could give you gossip, slander or do some mudslinging and backbiting. I won't. That's not the person I am. I can't hate him (yet?). I hope he is happy. Might sound strange or misplaced but I mean it...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Seidr themeday about divination
Yesterday I attended a seidr-themed workshop about divination / oracle "under the mantle" with Linda Wormhoudt in Amsterdam. It was a very interesting day. Linda told us a lot about the methods of divination used in Northwestern Europe. It is too much to share it all, but I'll let you take a peek. :-)
For example, Útiseta/útisetta literally means "sitting outside" and 'sitja á haugi' means "sitting on a burial mound". The practitioner or 'vala' retreated to a place in nature, covered herself with a mantle, blanket or animal skin and just sat there. Singing and praying she tried to get into contact with the dead (ancestors) to seek information and/or advice. Unknown how long exactly, she just came back when she had an answer.
We tried it ourselves. At first I didn't feel comfortable at all covering myself. I struggled to find the right position for me. Then suddenly I found it and I surrendered myself. I had gone in with a question and almost immediately I got answers, or at least tips / clues. I can't really ecplain, you have to experience it!
Sitting "under the mantle" I encountered an unexpected 'guest'. Next to me a polar bear showed up and offered to be my power animal. He said I needed him in this time of my life and he'd be happy to help me. Wow, I didn't really know what to say... I never heard of someone getting a power animal this way, but of course I'm honoured. I've always been fascinated by bears and a polar bear is really special. I don't know what it stands for exactly, but I'll look it up later. For a moment I saw myself walking with a female black panther on one side and a male polar bear on the other. Magnificent, I'm privileged!
For example, Útiseta/útisetta literally means "sitting outside" and 'sitja á haugi' means "sitting on a burial mound". The practitioner or 'vala' retreated to a place in nature, covered herself with a mantle, blanket or animal skin and just sat there. Singing and praying she tried to get into contact with the dead (ancestors) to seek information and/or advice. Unknown how long exactly, she just came back when she had an answer.
We tried it ourselves. At first I didn't feel comfortable at all covering myself. I struggled to find the right position for me. Then suddenly I found it and I surrendered myself. I had gone in with a question and almost immediately I got answers, or at least tips / clues. I can't really ecplain, you have to experience it!
Sitting "under the mantle" I encountered an unexpected 'guest'. Next to me a polar bear showed up and offered to be my power animal. He said I needed him in this time of my life and he'd be happy to help me. Wow, I didn't really know what to say... I never heard of someone getting a power animal this way, but of course I'm honoured. I've always been fascinated by bears and a polar bear is really special. I don't know what it stands for exactly, but I'll look it up later. For a moment I saw myself walking with a female black panther on one side and a male polar bear on the other. Magnificent, I'm privileged!After lunch we did some other experiments and exercises with other methods of Nordic divination. At the end of the day I was exhausted, but it was well worth it!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
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