Monday, June 26, 2006


Last weekend Wonder and I drove to country estate "De Brookberg" in Neer (Limburg) to celebrate Litha with the Children of the Circle. We signed up for it some time ago. I had been doubting whether I should go or not, but decided to give it a go. In the introduction circle I told about my mum and I got sympathy and support right away. It was a wonderful group of people. Most of them I didn't know, but I felt at ease from the first moment.

Wonder had bought a new tent. There's a lot of room inside and you can stand upright in it. Wonder decorated it with a little altar, his drum, blankets and a box with candles. The view from the front was magnificent. The lake is beautiful and so is the landscape around it.

After the introduction the group split in two: workshop healing drawing and the sweat lodge. Wonder and I opted for the sweat lodge. He had done it before, for me it was the first time. The group itself built the sweat lodge. The framework was covered with blankets and canvas to keep the warmth in and the light out. We piled up big stones. With each stone we named a wish of transformation; I asked guilt to be transformed in freedom to be myself. The next stones we piled with a wish for someone else; I wished Ron could share in the energy and warmth I was receiving this weekend. Around the stones a big fire was built to heat them. While they were getting hot we took a dive in the lake, skinny-dipping. It was cold at first. The lake seemed to give me energy: I swam a fairly large round! Then it was time to enter the sweat lodge. It was dark and very hot. The sweat kept pouring of me, but I felt okay. We meditated and thanked the Great Mother. We did two rounds and in between and after we went into the lake to cool off. It was a very special experience, that I won't forget lightly...

In the evening we had dinner; everybody had brought something. We had self-made bread, white and whole meal. I took some soup and bread. After dinner I went for a walk along the lake on my own. There were sheep and water birds. I sat down and stroke a lamb, sooo cute! I took a picture of the sun behind a tree; I now have it as my desktop background. When I got back we walked to another place on the bank of the lake to have a drum circle. Wonder couldn't use his own drum; it had been too close to the fire and the skin had gotten out of the band. Therefore we took place behind the big round drum together. Wonder started to drum, but I didn't have the guts. Later Benjamin2Bears convinced me to try so I did, very gently. Wonder was in some kind of trance and was beating in a catching rhythm. I took it over and we drummed together. It was great!! At some moment I was overcome by the rhythm and started crying. One of the men encouraged me and put his arm around me to comfort me. It felt good to let it out. Afterwards we walked back and decided to go to bed.

After a good night I woke up around 7am. I went to the bathroom and then took a walk. In front of the tent I enjoyed the beautiful view. It was still early so I went back to sleep for a while. I missed breakfast, but wanted to swim in the lake one more time. I was all alone and it felt very magical. After everyone finished packing their stuff we stood in the circle to close it. I thanked everyone for their contribution to this weekend and told them I was very glad I had come. I've met wonderful people and the group feeling was very special. It was a pity to leave these splendid surroundings, but I was also very glad to come home with Ron again.

To see all of our pictures look here.


  1. It was good for you to go. and the release of the tears was healing for you. I am sending thoughts for you that happiness will return soon.
    Life does go on. Blessings my friend

  2. Thanks, Autumn!
    I hope you'll be fine too. Don't let the stress take over too much, although that's easier said than done... You're in my thoughts and I send you soothing energy!


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