Thursday, February 08, 2007

TT #28: support

Thirteen things about support
Last Tuesday my course 'Working with your own experience' was about support. An interesting topic, so I'm using it for this week's TT! I'll start with the 9 types of support you can get from another person and add a few remarks.

  • information source (you want answers) - Someone with knowledge who can give you the information (facts) you want - I rarely use people for this. My main sources of information are books and the internet.
  • think along with (you want to check your ideas) - Someone who listens to your ideas, thinks with you and offers suggestions to make things more concrete or find a solution - I like this kind of support, someone who does the brainstorming with me.
  • give orders (you want to be told how and what to do) - Someone that gives orders and instructions to do something; once you've done it once you can talk about it or ask questions - I can't think of a situation where I'd need this. I like to know what I'm going to do (and why) before I do it.
  • sounding board (you just want to tell your story) - Someone that just listens to what you're telling, nothing more nothing less - Don't we all need this from time to time? I know I do, frequently!
  • coach ( you want be encouraged) - Someone who is there for you and backs you up - I can't live without that, it feels safe to know you are not alone.
  • teacher (you want to know how to do it first) - Someone that shares his knowledge, outlook and opinions on things so you can make up your mind how to do it yourself - I am always curious about how others do something, but most of the time I end up doing it completely different. :-)
  • advisor (you want good advice) - Someone (preferably several people) that tells you what he thinks you should do; from the advices you choose what feels best - I don't mind to get advice as long as the advisor doesn't get mad when I don't follow it.
  • consolation (you want to be comforted) - Someone that just puts an arm around you and tells you everything will be all right - Often that's all I want! No advice, no solutions, just comfort! It always makes me feel better.
  • challenger (you want to be challenged) - Someone strict that challenges you by asking concrete questions and demanding answers or action and comes back to you about it - That doesn't work for me at all, only counter-productive. I hate to have-to-do something!
  • Of course a combination of the above types is possible!
  • Supporting someone else works as support for myself too. I don't mind people coming to me for support when I need it myself. Helping someone makes me feel better.
  • It depends (a lot) on the person what type of support they can give me.
  • I have learned to ask for support and even specify what type, but the best support is someone who knows you inside out and senses exactly what you need...

Oh my goddess, I'm the featured blog today on Thursday Thirteen. Yay!!! I'm the "oldtimer" (this being my 28th TT-list). The newbie is My Lil' Corner of the World; this is her first TT, visit her too if you can.


Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


  1. Very insightful! Thanks for sharing and thanks for coming by my blog :)

  2. hi tinkerbell. i have an important interview next week, and found your thoughts helpful re how to prepare for it.

  3. Nice TT, very interesting. People often tell me; why you ask me this, when you know you'll do exactly the opposite?!' :)
    I just like to have people's advice, and then make my own conclusions.
    Everyone needs a bit of support every now and then.

  4. I would have given the same answers ! I hate orders and never follow not even an instruction sheet ! You can imagine that I have been the "darling" of all my teachers, lol !

  5. PS I've just posted an extra photo of my favorite Gallen-Kallela painting below the TT, I think you'll like it. :)

  6. I ask for the help, but then don't take it. ;)

  7. Hi my TT is up

    Support is very important to homeschoolers so I enjoyed your list.

  8. thanks for visiting my blog ... my friend david winner (brilliant orange) knows more about dutch football than anyone else i know.

  9. It works the other way around, too, when you're the one giving support. It took me a while yesterday, when my teenage son came home all upset about a new school rule--I was pretty much giving him 1, 2, 3, 7, & 9, when what he wanted was 4 & 8, and maybe #6.

  10. Excellent list for the different kinds of support. We don't often think about the various roles that we play in other's lives.

    My list is up!

  11. I hear ya sister! I am on the healing path as well. :) Lots of hugs work miracles. ((()))

  12. you're so right about how helpful supporting someone else is! great list! and i'm the same way, when someone challenges me i shut down until they back off and then i continue on my own terms. i hate "having" to do something. stubborn i guess. haha! happy tt! great list!

  13. I never thought about enumerating the sources of support before but, of course, it makes sense. We all need the varying kinds at different points in our life -- sometimes several in the same day. Thanks for making me think about this in a new way.

  14. These are great. I didn't think about the fact that there are many roles a supporter takes. :)

    My 13 are up.

  15. I don't know what happened to my comment (waah!) - I came to let you know that I've selected you as one of the featured Thirteeners for the week at the Hub! Thank you for participating!!

  16. Great TT! I think my husband needs to take this course :) Sometimes men just want to FIX everything!!!

  17. Excellent list of support types. What's nice is that people can switch between the roles. For the people we love and care deeply about we provide a wider variety of support - we adapt to react to the needs!

  18. Great 13--I think I have used all and been all support options... Thanks for stopping by.

  19. Facinating list! Lots to learn there. Congrats on being featured today!

  20. Very interesting indeed, i had to do a personal support map for my counselling homework. I had to list all the things and people that give me support. Also what type of support like financial,physical and emotional. It quite surprising to find out where you get it from.
    Great TT

  21. advice is always great when its solicited. And I am with you, I hate being told or ordered what to do

  22. Anonymous8/2/07 21:04

    Hi Tink! What a great list. Something I've never really thought about ... types of support.

    Thanks for stopping by to visit my blog earlier today ~ and for mentioning it on you T13! :o)

    Enjoy your week in teh spotlight!

  23. Good posting! Blessed Be!Congrats on being the featured TT'er!

  24. Congratulation on being the featured blog :-)

    A great TT with a lot of truth in it :-)

    Thanks for visiting and do come back to check out when the fun begins!

  25. How facinating!!!

    Congrats on being the featured blog this week!!!


    A BLog of 2 Witches

  26. Very inspiring list.
    Thanks for sharing.

    I will Exercise for Comments!

  27. Anonymous9/2/07 01:37

    Very well done. Great TT. I think more people should take this advice.

    Thanks for visiting my TT

  28. I'm here via Whiskey Talking, I love your list and I hope that I'm more like a coach, but I'll bet I'm really more like a challenger.

  29. Inovative and insightful list.
    Good job!
    Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
    Thank you for your visit to mine.
    Have a wonderful day!
    Happy TT'ing!
    (")_ (")Š

  30. A very helpful list! I probably use all of these, at one time or another.

  31. Congratulations on being 'featured' and thanks for visiting. Yours was a very interesting TT. I was thinking of my own relationships with friends, coworkers, family as I read.

  32. I tried to leave a comment for you yesterday, but blogger would not let me.

    I like the last one.

  33. Learning to be a good support-person can help you support yourself. The only trick is realizing that, no matter how accomplished a person is, there comes a time when everyone needs a sounding board...a shoulder to cry on...a coach...a teacher...

  34. When you said "support," all I could think of was bras.

    Whoa. Wasn't at all what you meant.

    Happy TT!

  35. congrats on being featured, that's really cool!

  36. You will not believe this, but I was working on my TT-list about frustrations and while I started with no. 10 (!) everything disappeared. Yeah, very frustrating. It had taken me half an hour, so I left it at that. And missed out.
    Congrats on yours!

  37. I have only just found the Thursday 13ers but I work in Support, you were the first blog I clicked on to view! I was unsure of what content you could put up, but now I can put some more 'information' based 13's up and not just what's gone on in my week!

  38. i just wanted to stop by and welcome you to the blogroll!!


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