The new year helped me to make a new start in eating. I finally succeeded in breaching the vicious circle, the binging... It is hard, very hard. I'm glad I did it though, it was about time to get a grip on myself!
I stepped on the scales last week, I'm back to 100++ kg... I expected that, I knew before I saw the figures. I can't blame anyone but myself. I don't want to linger on blaming myself. I know it so well and it doesn't work.
This new start is different new start than others in the past. I'm not setting any unreachable goals, I don't stop eating, I'm not putting myself on a killer diet. This time I'm doing it the right way. Start eating normally, change habits, stop fooling myself. So far it's going okay. Not perfect, but okay. That's good enough.
Last Thursday I went with Ron to his psychiatrist. She's good. I talked freely and told her about my feelings. She knows enough about eating disorders not to make the classic therapist mistakes, what a relief! She was honest enough to say that she doesn't know whether she can help me. That's fine. If she's willing to give it a try, so am I. This thursday is the next appointment.