O what a day...

This morning I did a guest lesson for staff nurses about eating disorders. It's one of the things I do to help others with my experience. It was part of a special information day in a mental health care institution. I tell about my own experiences and discuss with the audience (this time nurses, but it can be any audience). When they are social workers I try to make them see that patients are individual persons that need an individual approach. They aren't cases that need to be treated according to protocol. Of course treatment protocols are necessary, but I try to make them think outside the box. I give them a view from the other side. As usual the response was positive, they were thankful for my input. I believe I gave them something to think about and that's exactly what I want to achieve.

When I wanted to go home afterwards I encountered a problem. A car had parked so stupidly that I couldn't get out of my space. I tried to get out by direction of someone that tried to help, but it couldn't be done. I was stuck between a lamppost, a tree and that car. The personnel was very kind and tried to help me in every way they could. I called Ron and he got the name of the owner through the car dealer. Unfortunately that wasn't someone known there. After two hours I called the police, but they said they couldn't help me as I was on private property. Eventually two people from the local parking management team came. They weren't allowed to tow away the car either, but they managed to get my car a few inches sideways with a drag-rope on my tow bar. That way I could finally drive away. After three hours I was on my way home. I was pissed and worn out, but thankful for the help and happy to go home at last. Quite the adventure...

Birthday and other things

Time to catch up... My birthday was good. Yes, there were tears for Leo, but that was okay. I gave his picture a prominent place in the room. For Joke it was a sad day too of course, but she came early and I think she had a good time with all the guests. It beats sitting home alone and crying I hope.

I was happy to share both the sadness and the joy with my friends and family. It was busy, but not too much. I had asked money because I wanted to save for a good speedbike. Although I also got some lovely presents I had enough money to buy the bike I wanted. Yesterday we went to get it. Ron assembled it right away. I tried it for a while, but I'm still a bit weak. Last week I had a nasty cold, flu, virus or whatever it was. I feel a lot better, but it goes away slowly. Unfortunately I infected Ron, so now it's his turn to feel lousy and my turn to play nurse.

Last Saturday I had a wonderful get-together on the Veluwe. I was invited to an early Mabon ritual. The Lowland Systers and my coven were invited, so I saw quite a few familiar faces. I also got to know some other lovely women and a man. It was an eclectic group that went very well together. It felt warm, welcoming and strong. The ritual was beautiful. The surroundings were lit by candles. The weather had been very wet last week but we had dry weather with open skies and a gorgeous moon looking down on us. Magical... I was home very late and very tired, but it was worth it for sure!

Firsts

Today is my sister's birthday. The first time without Leo. She didn't celebrate her birthday, but of course I went to see her. She was very emotional, and so was I. Because Leo had his birthday only a few weeks later, they mostly celebrated the two birthdays together on Leo's in October. Last year Joke celebrated her own birthday. The last with Leo, as if it had to be that way. He was surrounded by friends and family, although we didn't know it was the last time...

This week my old "auntie" Rie died suddenly in her home; she was almost 81. She wasn't really an aunt, but the mother of my brother's childhood friend and their family became friends with mine. Through the years she was always there; sometimes every week, sometimes a few times a year. Modern, spontaneous, optimistic, loving... She was a wonderful woman and will be missed dearly by many. Today I got the announcement in the post. On top was a rainbow and the translations of the first lines of "Look for me in rainbows" by Vicky Brown, which was one of the songs on my mother's cremation. Again, tears...

Next Wednesday I'll have my birthday. It will be an ambivalent day. I will have a party, but it will also be exactly a year ago that Leo so unexpectedly died. I can't help but thinking about it. I know he would want me to celebrate my birthday as always. I'll try, but this first time it won't be completely 'as always' and in a way it will never be. I think about him every day and miss him, but certain days are significant whether we like it or not. Nevertheless, life goes on and so must we... I know I won't keep it dry next week though.

These 'firsts' are difficult. It will get 'easier', the raw pain and grief will soften. I know. Still, I hate these 'firsts'!

Awards

The 2010 Top Paganism Blog Awards are organised by Online PhD Programs and BestBloggers. Awards candidates are selected using audience nominations. The list of nominations is then filtered through to produce a list of award candidates. Each blog on this list is then scored by a panel of 5 judges. Each judge rates each blog across 20 different attributes providing it with a ‘subjective’ score. These ratings are combined into an aggregate, and the aggregates of the 5 judges are averaged to give the blog its final rating. The ratings are then compared, and awards are given out to blogs in the 99% percentile (meaning the top 1% of blogs receive awards). The award winners for the paganism category were announced on August 17, 2010. I was surprised but very honoured to hear ~*~Tinkerbell~*~ is one of the top 35 paganism blogs! There are very interesting other blogs on the list too; I'm using the list to explore new blogs.
Thanks for nominating me!!

~*~*~*~

Greenwheel from Green Witch Ways has bestowed upon me an award for a blog with substance! See her post here. Wow, thank you! I am flattered and again very honoured.

The rules for the award are :
1. Thank the blogger that gave you the award -
Thank you GreenWheel! Your blog does definitely deserve the award too!
2. Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, experience, using 10 words. -
Pfew, only 10? Sorry, no can do...
• no obligations (write whenever I want & whatever I want)
• personal (it's not an info only blog, but a personal account)
• pagan (I'm pagan so my blog is pagan)
• interesting (I write for myself, but I hope others find it interesting too)
• etc.... fill in your own idea about my blog
3. Pass the award on to 10 other blogs you feel have substance. -
Let's see how far I get:..
• Lyn at Witch Blog
• Suzie at Suzie Ridler
• Dori at From A Yellow House In England
• Lily at Irresistible Secrets
• Renny at RennyBA's Terella
• Vixen at Vixen's Den
Visit them, they deserve it! :-)