Farewell to Kyra

On November 30th a wonderful woman passed over to the Summerlands. Kyra was my HPs, my initiator, but first and foremost she was a dear friend. Although most of you reading this didn’t know her, I want to share some stories and thoughts about her.

When I met her for the first time some years ago, she was already diagnosed with Hodgkin's. It came back several times and even then she was already living on borrowed time. That didn't stop her from fighting, on the contrary! She has been a fighter until the end. She tried alternative methods, special diets, everything within reach that looked promising. She has managed to live way longer than the medical world would think possible. It was hard on her, but she hardly ever complained. That wasn't really in her nature and if she did she always tried to end the conversation on a positive note.

I met her on several occasions, mainly on events organised by the Pagan Federation in The Netherlands, but we had more in common than our pagan path and shared a lot of interests. We also kept in contact through e-mail, social media, etc. She was a gifted artist and very creative, although she was often trivialising it if I told her that. She shared her knowledge and ideas freely, always willing to explain something. We had talks about health and a body that didn't cooperate with what we wanted. In that area I was the one trivialising, because I didn't want to compare my health issues with her way more serious ones. Sometimes she was angry about that, but we also laughed a lot and didn't take ourselves too serious!

Her pagan path started in shamanism and that stayed with her. We often talked about it. In the beginning I was studying with Phyllis Curott, who combines wicca and shamanistic techniques into her own tradition. Kyra was very interested and shared some of her own practices with me. Later on she met Ron, my husband, and they got along very good too. They shared the love of drumming and liked to drum together. When Ron and I made our own shaman drums from scratch, she promised to make drum bags for us by felting. Unfortunately she didn't feel good enough to felt and wasn't able to even start on them. Fortunately I have other felting objects and art she made.

After some not-so-nice experiences on my spiritual path I was questioning myself whether this really was the right path for me. I felt a bit lost. Kyra helped me to find myself and my path again. She never told me what I should do, but helped me to discover by myself how I really felt, how to deal with it and what I wanted. That was the kind of friend she was: never judgmental, always there to help. Oh sure, she had her own shadows to fight. She wasn't perfect, no-one is, but we shared the ability to play the devil's advocate, to see problems from different perspectives, not necessarily our own.
When I had found my way again, and decided that yes, this is definitely the right path for me, she invited me to join her coven after she discussed it with the other coven members. That was the final step I needed to take to get back on track. It is a Greencraft coven, an Alexandrian based traditional craft wiccan tradition. I was the last one she initiated, a bittersweet honour... Because of the coven our contact intensified, we met more often and I loved that. If only she could have had more time...

We knew she lived on borrowed time, but her death still came very fast and suddenly. I'm glad she didn't have to suffer any longer, the pain is finally gone... May she rest in peace in the loving hands of the gods, they know she deserves it.
She had left instructions for her final goodbye. It was a private ceremony with people who cared about her very much. Beautiful, with tears of course, but we also celebrated her life just like she wanted. She was (is!) loved and will be dearly missed by many...

She wasn't someone for ostentation, didn't like to be the centre of attention, let alone admiration, but I really wanted to share this, so I hope she'll forgive me...
RIP, Kyra - merry meet, merry part, until we merry meet again!

Elegy for a Dead Witch

(by Doreen Valiente)

To think that you are gone, over the crest of the hills,

As the Moon passed from her fullness, riding the sky,

And the White Mare took you with her.

To think that we will wait another life

To drink wine from the horns and leap the fire.

Farewell from this world, but not from the Circle.

That place that is between the worlds

Shall hold return in due time. Nothing is lost.

The half of a fruit from the tree of Avalon

Shall be our reminder, among the fallen leaves

This life treads underfoot. Let the rain weep,

Waken in sunlight from the Realms of Sleep.

~*~*~*~

Also published in PaganPages January issue:
Tink about it: Farewell to Kyra

Long time no see

Yeah, I haven't been posting much lately... I have so much I want to do, so much I need to do and even more I have to do... Somehow that ends up in me doing nothing. I'll give you a little update though...

My health still bothers me. As I wrote before, I'm caught between happy feelings (yay, nothing's wrong) and discomfort. I don't feel good, on the contrary. I'm not sick, it's hard to describe. On top of the physical problems  I'm also struggling mentally. Life isn't easy at the moment. I won't tire you with the details, but it's more survival than life... Bleh, enough of that negativity.

From Ascension Day until the Sunday thereafter my coven was invited to the Greencraft Coven Convention in Castle De Berckt in Baarlo, Netherlands. Greencraft is an Alexandrian based Wiccan Tadition, founded by Hera and Arghuicha (read more on the Greencraft website).We had wonderful days filled with workshops, rituals, meetings and social interaction. The weather was very good, although a bit too sunny and warm to my liking. A lot could be done outside. Because the tradition celebrated its 20th anniversary the covens had prepared a beautiful and very special ritual to honour and thank Hera and Arghuicha. We were very honoured to be able to take part in this.

We are busy with Ron's business called Van Leeuwen Auto Advies (Van Leeuwen Car Advice) or VLAA. The website is online: www.vlaa.nl. The colours we are using come from Van Swieten, the transport company for which Ron's father worked and Ron has fond memories of. We have done a lot of work these last weeks/months. The logo, business cards, etc. are ready too. The car will get some advertisement next week. Let the customers come! :-)

Last weekend Ron and I went to a little folk festival called Teylinger Fest. It was organized for the first time this year, but hopefully it won't be the last! There were folk bands playing all day in the Ruin of Teylingen. On the fields around it were market stalls and entertainment. You can see our pictures in my Facebook album "Teylinger Fest 2011" (no need for a FB account to watch).

That's it for now. I'll try to post more regularly!

Birthday and other things

Time to catch up... My birthday was good. Yes, there were tears for Leo, but that was okay. I gave his picture a prominent place in the room. For Joke it was a sad day too of course, but she came early and I think she had a good time with all the guests. It beats sitting home alone and crying I hope.

I was happy to share both the sadness and the joy with my friends and family. It was busy, but not too much. I had asked money because I wanted to save for a good speedbike. Although I also got some lovely presents I had enough money to buy the bike I wanted. Yesterday we went to get it. Ron assembled it right away. I tried it for a while, but I'm still a bit weak. Last week I had a nasty cold, flu, virus or whatever it was. I feel a lot better, but it goes away slowly. Unfortunately I infected Ron, so now it's his turn to feel lousy and my turn to play nurse.

Last Saturday I had a wonderful get-together on the Veluwe. I was invited to an early Mabon ritual. The Lowland Systers and my coven were invited, so I saw quite a few familiar faces. I also got to know some other lovely women and a man. It was an eclectic group that went very well together. It felt warm, welcoming and strong. The ritual was beautiful. The surroundings were lit by candles. The weather had been very wet last week but we had dry weather with open skies and a gorgeous moon looking down on us. Magical... I was home very late and very tired, but it was worth it for sure!

Litha and more

Last Monday I had a very special Litha celebration with my coven. I really feel welcome there. I like them and I think they like me. :) Anyway, I have found my path back again. I feel at ease and confident about it. I can't share everything here. That's a pity, but that's just the way it is. I'll still share whatever I can.

Last year after I left the Temple of Ara I really felt bad, out of balance and lost. Now I can see it as something in the past. Phyllis Curott will always be dear to me and I've learned great things while working with her. I'm proud to have had her as a teacher. And a terrific part of the legacy is a group of wonderful women to work with, the Lowland Systers.

This is the robe I made for the Litha celebration. As you know I'm not a sewing-star (that's a huge understatement...) so I had help from Wonder and Ron. I have two belts: one straight and one braided (what a work!). The fabric (100% cotton) was white originally, but I decided to dye it. A bit of a gamble, but it turned out just the way I hoped it would! I bought the shawl some time ago and the colour fit perfectly.