Last post of 2010!

The last weeks I haven't been posting much. Don't worry, I'm still here! I've been busy with some major issues in my life. I won't beat around the bush... In a very sneaky way the eating disorder monster found its way back into my life. I hate to admit it, but it's true. Good news is I'm fighting back with all I've got! It is hard, but I'm more determined than ever to get rid of it once and for all...
Another big decision: I decided to try a life without anti depressants. They've helped me in the past and I'm glad they did. After I forgot them for a week (yes, really forgot!) and didn't even really notice it I decided to give it a go. So you see... major issues...

This morning I walked a labyrinth on a foggy beach and it was magical! The fog in my head is slowly clearing away. It will take some time until the ad remainders left my body completely. I asked some guidance in the labyrinth.The answer was clear enough: have faith! So that's my intention for 2011...

To all of you: blessings and all the best for 2011. May your best day of 2010 be your worst in 2011! :)

For Ron

Our love started off on rocky ground

But together we stood tall

Because the love we found

Can really conquer all!

If it wasn’t for you

I wouldn’t be here

The reverse is also true

We just need each other near

Together we are strong

Two halves of one heart

Friends, lovers, soul mates all along

A bond never to fall apart

All the words in all the books can not describe my love for you

So it will take all of my life and more to prove you that it’s true


~*~*~*~

Today is our wedding anniversary, we got married 15 years ago. We are together for 24 years though. I remember that beautiful day back in 1995. Very cliche perhaps, but it really was the happiest day of my life...

Each day I love you more

I love you more than I did yesterday

But less than I will do tomorrow

Forever!

BBC Booklist

I encountered this list again (on Facebook) and finally decided to see how I did and post about it. :)

So the BBC (anno 2003) believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. Bold the ones you've read, and italicize the ones you've read parts of but didn't finish.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (my all-time favourite book!)
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible (Roman Catholic school and upbringing)
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (yep, all of it!)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
24. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
25. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
26. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
27. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
28. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
29. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
30. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
31. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
32. Emma -Jane Austen
33. Persuasion - Jane Austen
34. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis
35. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
36. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
37. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
38. Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
39. Animal Farm - George Orwell
40. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
41. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
42. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
43. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
44. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
45. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
46. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
47. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
48. Atonement - Ian McEwan
49. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
50. Dune - Frank Herbert
51. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
52. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
53. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
54. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
55. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
56. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
57. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
58. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
59. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
60. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
61. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
62. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
63. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
64. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
65. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
66. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
67. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
68. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
69. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
70. Dracula - Bram Stoker
71. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
72. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
73. Ulysses - James Joyce
74. The Inferno - Dante
75. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
76. Germinal - Emile Zola
77. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
78. Possession - AS Byatt
79. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (still read it every year)
80. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
81. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
82. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
83. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
84. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
85. Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
86. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
87. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
88. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
89. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
90. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
91. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
92. Watership Down - Richard Adams (love it!)
93. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
94. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
95. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
96. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
97. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
98. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Not 100 because in the original list there were several Harry Potter books, now it's one. The winner was The Lord Of The Rings and I couldn't agree more!

Wow, I got 70 out of 98! I didn't read all of them in English, but also in Dutch of course. I always try to read a book in the original language if possible (mostly English, some German and French).

How did you do??

Disneyland Paris

Thursday Ron, Joke and I returned from a 4-day/3-night stay in Disneyland Paris. We had a fabulous time! Because of the snow and x-mas decorations it was a true winter wonderland. So beautiful... We stayed in the Santa Fe Hotel in a simple but well-equipped room with double beds, decorated in Cars-style. A shuttlebus service was available to go to the parks.

The first day we left early, because it was a 500 km (310 mi) drive. When we arrived we moved into the room, unpacked and rested for a while. We decided to take the bus to the parks to look around a bit. Joke had been there before with Leo, so she knew where to go. The parks were covered with snow. Around 5pm the Once Upon a Dream Parade started, my absolute favourite thing to do (watch). Main Street looked wonderful. A few times my eyes filled with tears of sheer happiness. Finally there, as I've always wanted ever since the opening in 1992... My inner child enjoyed herself to her heart's content!

After an early night and deep sleep we had an early breakfast, so we could leave for the parks early too. Guests of the Disney hotels are allowed early access before opening hour. The first thing we did was Space Mountain. Holy moly, that was quite a ride! I loved it, although I was a bit unstable when I got out. Some attractions were closed because of the weather and/or refurbishing. We did all we could and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. From thrills to wonderful attractions like "It's a Small World" and "Peter Pan's Flight". It was very tiring but I walked on adrenalin! We never had long waiting times; that's the benefit of going on weekdays outside holidays. For dinner we had booked the Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Great entertainment and the food was good (except for the cold potatoes).

Wednesday we 'did' the Walt Disney Studios Park. That one is smaller but also great in a different way.The absolute tophit was The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror! Woohoo! Inside it looked spooky and the ride was awesome. The Moteurs... Action! Stunt Show Spectacular was abridged because of the snow, but still spectacular. It was very cold on the grandstand, so after the show we had some hot chocolate and went into the theatre to get warm again. When we had seen what we wanted, we walked to the other park again to shop and of course watch the Parade again. I bought and got some wonderful Tink-stuff! We had dinner in The Steakhouse about which I can be brief: a big disappointment, not something I'd recommend. But we didn't let that spoil our fun too much! We returned to the hotel, very tired (and Ron with painful knees) but very satisfied after another great day.

Thursday we decided to skip the parks and drive home early because the weather forecast was bad. The homeward journey was long. In France and Belgium it wasn't that bad, but in the Netherlands we fell into an early traffic rush hour. We were home around 6pm. First we picked up the dogs at Ron's sister; they were so happy to see us! I had missed them a lot, and the cats too. We ordered dinner in and talked about our adventures. What an experience, what an amazing time...

A selection of our (800+) photos are in my Facebook album "Eurodisney December 2010".

Catching up

The last few weeks have been very busy. First Ron had a very nasty flu. Just when he was recovering he got an acute cystitis, which is very painful especially for a man. On top of that his knees are aching again. In between all of that Ron is working hard to get his own business going.

A friend invited Ron and me to celebrate Samhain with a group we know from a pagan forum and former meetings. First it wasn't possible because I had a ritual planned with my coven on Saturdaynight, but that was delayed. In the evening we did a beautiful ritual and afterwards there was a Halloween party in the big hall. Everything was decrated and looked great. I wore a Caspar the Friendly Ghost mask and a witches' hat. Ron stayed up late, but I went to bed earlier because I was very tired.

November 16th I went to the first viewing of the Take That documentary "Look Back Don't Stare" in Theater Tuschinski in Amsterdam. It's about Rob's return to the boy... eh... manband. I had won tickets! If you're interested in Ron and Take That I can recommend it. At times I was surprised there eventually came a cd. :) I understand why Rob has so much fun being back with the boys. If this is the way for him I'm okay with it. I already bought a ticket for the concert in the Amsterdam Arena on July 18th next year and I'm looking forward to it!

Last weekend I spent another weekend in a yurt with the Lowland Systers. This time it wasn't as cold as early this year. We had a wonderful time! The first day we used to catch up with each other and make plans for the weekend. Saturday we slept in. I woke up at half past 10! The last weeks had asked a lot of my energy, so I had to use the weekend to recharge my battery. In the afternoon we did some magical groupwork and when it was dark we walked into the woods to do our ritual. We found a stump that was perfect to use as an altar. Afterwards we had dinner in the yurt. It's such a great accomodation! It has a lovely atmosphere, especially by candlelight. Sunday morning we packed our bags and said our goodbyes. We already have plans to return there next year. :) You can see my pics in my Facebook album "Yurt 2".

Farewell to Bagheera

In 2008 I introduced Bagheera the black panther (leopard) to you in this blogpost. I adopted her through Big Cat Rescue. Now it's time to say goodbye....

BAGHEERA
born: March 1, 1989
died: November 10, 2010

She lived far longer than most of her kind do, but that doesn't make it easier to let her go... I cried... I really loved her from afar...

Bagheera came to Big Cat Rescue from Oklahoma on May 27, 1995 with Adonnis, another black leopard. They were both declawed and being kept as pets. Their owners then moved and didn't have room for either of them at their new location.
Adonnis and Bagheera, the two roommates, were able to spend their days together in a very large cat-a-tat built especially for them as a contest prize won by Julie Hanan, a Big Cat Rescue volunteer. They were located in an area of the sanctuary that isn’t accessible to all volunteers or guests.

A slideshow was also created when they were re-introduced and began life together again in their new, larger cat-a-tat. That can be viewed here. The video below will give you an opportunity to see just how playful and affectionate they were with each other.

Sadly, Bagheera was left without Adonnis when he passed away on January 13, 2010. Her health continued to fail and the people at Big Cat Rescue said a tearful goodbye to her as she joined Adonnis over the rainbow bridge, finally free, after living 21 years in captivity.

text by Big Cat Rescue

Please support Big Cat Rescue if you can, they do GREAT work! Every donation helps! They are also on Facebook, Twitter and other networking websites.

Blogblast for peace 2010

Today I'm joining hundreds of bloggers across the world in a movement called "Blogblast For Peace". Bloggers will unite in a global cry for peace in this annual event. One day. One voice. All it takes is one post. Won't you join us?

This is the third time I'm participating in Blogblast for Peace. I chose quotes that emphasize that peace on earth starts with peace within. The dove doesn't need explanation, and the Tink in outline is my personal touch. I hope you like it!

Blogblast for Peace links
BFP website
info on Mimi's blog
eventpage on Facebook
fanpage on Facebook

Finally found!

I finally found my black panther statue! After years of looking, searching, asking... The black panther is my power animal or totem for as long as I can remember. I really wanted a nice statue, but most I found showed an angry panther, often with open mouth. I know they are predators, but still I was looking for something else. A few weeks ago I was surfing the web when I encountered BlackPantherAnimals.com. Wow, a paradise for black panther fans like me (they also have other animals though). After some consideration I decided to buy Black Panther On Rock and Tiny One. The postage costs startled me as always from the USA to here, but I really wanted to have this. Now that I found her, I couldn't let go... I'm very happy!
Bastet shows you how big it is:

O what a day...

This morning I did a guest lesson for staff nurses about eating disorders. It's one of the things I do to help others with my experience. It was part of a special information day in a mental health care institution. I tell about my own experiences and discuss with the audience (this time nurses, but it can be any audience). When they are social workers I try to make them see that patients are individual persons that need an individual approach. They aren't cases that need to be treated according to protocol. Of course treatment protocols are necessary, but I try to make them think outside the box. I give them a view from the other side. As usual the response was positive, they were thankful for my input. I believe I gave them something to think about and that's exactly what I want to achieve.

When I wanted to go home afterwards I encountered a problem. A car had parked so stupidly that I couldn't get out of my space. I tried to get out by direction of someone that tried to help, but it couldn't be done. I was stuck between a lamppost, a tree and that car. The personnel was very kind and tried to help me in every way they could. I called Ron and he got the name of the owner through the car dealer. Unfortunately that wasn't someone known there. After two hours I called the police, but they said they couldn't help me as I was on private property. Eventually two people from the local parking management team came. They weren't allowed to tow away the car either, but they managed to get my car a few inches sideways with a drag-rope on my tow bar. That way I could finally drive away. After three hours I was on my way home. I was pissed and worn out, but thankful for the help and happy to go home at last. Quite the adventure...

Birthday and other things

Time to catch up... My birthday was good. Yes, there were tears for Leo, but that was okay. I gave his picture a prominent place in the room. For Joke it was a sad day too of course, but she came early and I think she had a good time with all the guests. It beats sitting home alone and crying I hope.

I was happy to share both the sadness and the joy with my friends and family. It was busy, but not too much. I had asked money because I wanted to save for a good speedbike. Although I also got some lovely presents I had enough money to buy the bike I wanted. Yesterday we went to get it. Ron assembled it right away. I tried it for a while, but I'm still a bit weak. Last week I had a nasty cold, flu, virus or whatever it was. I feel a lot better, but it goes away slowly. Unfortunately I infected Ron, so now it's his turn to feel lousy and my turn to play nurse.

Last Saturday I had a wonderful get-together on the Veluwe. I was invited to an early Mabon ritual. The Lowland Systers and my coven were invited, so I saw quite a few familiar faces. I also got to know some other lovely women and a man. It was an eclectic group that went very well together. It felt warm, welcoming and strong. The ritual was beautiful. The surroundings were lit by candles. The weather had been very wet last week but we had dry weather with open skies and a gorgeous moon looking down on us. Magical... I was home very late and very tired, but it was worth it for sure!

Firsts

Today is my sister's birthday. The first time without Leo. She didn't celebrate her birthday, but of course I went to see her. She was very emotional, and so was I. Because Leo had his birthday only a few weeks later, they mostly celebrated the two birthdays together on Leo's in October. Last year Joke celebrated her own birthday. The last with Leo, as if it had to be that way. He was surrounded by friends and family, although we didn't know it was the last time...

This week my old "auntie" Rie died suddenly in her home; she was almost 81. She wasn't really an aunt, but the mother of my brother's childhood friend and their family became friends with mine. Through the years she was always there; sometimes every week, sometimes a few times a year. Modern, spontaneous, optimistic, loving... She was a wonderful woman and will be missed dearly by many. Today I got the announcement in the post. On top was a rainbow and the translations of the first lines of "Look for me in rainbows" by Vicky Brown, which was one of the songs on my mother's cremation. Again, tears...

Next Wednesday I'll have my birthday. It will be an ambivalent day. I will have a party, but it will also be exactly a year ago that Leo so unexpectedly died. I can't help but thinking about it. I know he would want me to celebrate my birthday as always. I'll try, but this first time it won't be completely 'as always' and in a way it will never be. I think about him every day and miss him, but certain days are significant whether we like it or not. Nevertheless, life goes on and so must we... I know I won't keep it dry next week though.

These 'firsts' are difficult. It will get 'easier', the raw pain and grief will soften. I know. Still, I hate these 'firsts'!

Awards

The 2010 Top Paganism Blog Awards are organised by Online PhD Programs and BestBloggers. Awards candidates are selected using audience nominations. The list of nominations is then filtered through to produce a list of award candidates. Each blog on this list is then scored by a panel of 5 judges. Each judge rates each blog across 20 different attributes providing it with a ‘subjective’ score. These ratings are combined into an aggregate, and the aggregates of the 5 judges are averaged to give the blog its final rating. The ratings are then compared, and awards are given out to blogs in the 99% percentile (meaning the top 1% of blogs receive awards). The award winners for the paganism category were announced on August 17, 2010. I was surprised but very honoured to hear ~*~Tinkerbell~*~ is one of the top 35 paganism blogs! There are very interesting other blogs on the list too; I'm using the list to explore new blogs.
Thanks for nominating me!!

~*~*~*~

Greenwheel from Green Witch Ways has bestowed upon me an award for a blog with substance! See her post here. Wow, thank you! I am flattered and again very honoured.

The rules for the award are :
1. Thank the blogger that gave you the award -
Thank you GreenWheel! Your blog does definitely deserve the award too!
2. Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, experience, using 10 words. -
Pfew, only 10? Sorry, no can do...
• no obligations (write whenever I want & whatever I want)
• personal (it's not an info only blog, but a personal account)
• pagan (I'm pagan so my blog is pagan)
• interesting (I write for myself, but I hope others find it interesting too)
• etc.... fill in your own idea about my blog
3. Pass the award on to 10 other blogs you feel have substance. -
Let's see how far I get:..
• Lyn at Witch Blog
• Suzie at Suzie Ridler
• Dori at From A Yellow House In England
• Lily at Irresistible Secrets
• Renny at RennyBA's Terella
• Vixen at Vixen's Den
Visit them, they deserve it! :-)

Castlefest and handfasting

(I've written this post more than 10 days ago, but forgot to hit "post" I think..??)

Last Saturday Ron and I went to Castlefest, a medieval/fantasy/pagan/steampunk festival in Lisse. There were a lot of market stalls, artists, musicians and other entertainment. It's a huge piece of land, so we first made a round to see everything. Most people are dressed up medieval, pagan, etc. My friend Krissy had made a beautiful blue gown for me. I had used some make-up (which I rarely do) and I really felt pretty. People even said I was radiating! With Krissy I bought a corset to wear over the dress. I always thought that made me look fat, but it didn't; it showed my... ehm... assets so to say! ;-) I also bought a beautiful black (matt) saucer with a spiral in it.

This time there was an extra reason to visit Castlefest. We were invited to attend the handfasting of two friends. They had asked Ron to take pictures. The ceremony was really beautiful. They were very nervous. They are together for 12 years and this was a wonderful confirmation of their special bond. It brought tears to my eyes, and I wasn't the only one! You can see the pictures in this album, but please note they are private and not for other use!

Congratulations to Rob & Ayda!

Rob and Ayda got married yesterday at his LA mansion. They planned to marry somewhere else, but some stupid guest couldn't keep his/her mouth shut and leaked to the press. I hope they had a wonderful wedding, the most beautiful day of their lifes, that they'll look back at for years to come. I'm so glad for Rob he finally found the love of his life and Ayda is one lucky lady! ;-) I wish them all the best and a lot of privacy away from the paparazzi!

About Rob re-joining Take That... I'm still not decided about the reunion. For Rob it seems to be what he wants, so then basically it's fine with me. But he is so much more than Take That and I'm afraid we'll miss a lot of that... I never really was a huge TT-fan, so maybe that plays a part too. I like Take That, I love Robbie Williams; that's the difference.

Back from Lier

We're back from a two weeks vacation in Lier, Belgium. We stayed at a private paradise of friends in the middle of nature and had a great time. The weather was very hot, but we also had some cooler (well, less hot...) days with an occasional shower. This was our third year there, but it will never become boring.

The dogs had a great time too, living outdoors most of the time. Foofur knew it, but it was Arwen's first time there. She enjoyed it fully, and so did Foof! Running free, rolling in the grass, dozing in the sun... On our walks along the river Nete they met horses, donkeys, cows, rabbits, birds... Arwen went swimming in the river. I panicked a bit when she went into the flow, but she is a great swimmer. She dawdled to come back. :)

We  buried Boris' ashes on a partly hidden spot on the property. He enjoyed it there sooo much and it was the last place where he was happy. We made a circle of stones to mark it. He's at a good place. We buried his ashes, but Boris will always live in our hearts.

We visited the famous Zimmer Tower in Lier for the first time. Of course we had made pics before on the outside, but we decided to do the complete tour and it was very interesting! We also did some shopping and sightseeing. Lier is a beautiful old city.

We like flea markets and the like a lot. It is always nice to visit one outside our own area. In Belgium we visited one jumble sale around a church and two huge car boot sales. Our last full vacation day was the Belgian National Holiday, so we could choose which one to visit!

There was a lot of chamomile in the meadows nearby, so Ron sneaked behind the fences and picked a big bunch (see picture on top of this post). I infused the chamomile flowers in oil and put it in the sun. It's sitting in the kitchen windowsill at home now.

All in all we had a wonderful time, our batteries are recharged!

Comment moderation

Much to my regret I have just changed my settings to moderate all comments on my blog. I don't like it (at all!), but lately the spam comments with hazardous links are numerous. I delete them as soon as I spot them, but it doesn't help. I hope moderating will keep them away. If you have other tips, feel free to share!

Please don't let it stop you from commenting; your comments are always very welcome!

The Complete Walt Disney World 2010

No, I haven't been to Disney World. I wish! I'm afraid our budget doesn't allow it at the moment, but I'm sure we will one day. We will definitely take this book with us!

Recently I joined NetGalley, an inexpensive and green way for publishers to share their digital galleys securely. Professional readers (reviewers, media, bloggers, journalists, librarians, booksellers and educators) can all use NetGalley for free to read and request galleys they want to review. The review is totally independent, so you can be honest if you don't like the book too. There are categories to choose from and other search options. There's a wide range of galleys available. I downloaded Adobe Digital Editions (also free) to read the books, but most publishers also have files for a Kindle. I had to get used to reading on the computer, but with the laptop it's okay. I'd love to have an e-reader though, or even better: an iPad.

The first book I requested was "The Complete Walt Disney World 2010", the only independent Disney guide ever honoured by the Walt Disney Company. It's the winner of Disney's iParenting Media Award for Outstanding Family Product. Other honours include Travel Guide of the Year and Nonfiction Book of the Year. That sounds very promising, but of course I had to see it for myself.

I browsed the pages first to get an overall impression. Then I dived in and read articles and reviews, watched gorgeous pictures, etc. The guide can help you to organise your visit beforehand with all info you can think of. When there it can help you find your way. It is easy accessible and easy to find anything you want or need. For me it was easy to imagine I was there. I like to travel by book or internet and this is a great book to do just that. I went for rides, visited Epcot, booked a beautiful room and located Tinker Bell (who else? *lol*). It provided me with lots of pleasure.
So if you think about visiting, already planned to go or want to take a virtual tour like I did... this is the guide you need!

Happy Birthday, Arwen!

Arwen is 1 year old today! Happy Birthday, sweetie! Unbelievable how fast this year has gone by. I remember holding her for the first time. So small, smaller than Foofur, but with those huge paws. She's grown into the size of her paws now. Still cute, still a puppy, full of misschief though, playful and happy. I can write about her for pages and pages long, but I'll let the pictures speak. Look at her first year in pictures on Facebook or Hyves (same pics, resp. English and Dutch comments). Enjoy!

Litha and more

Last Monday I had a very special Litha celebration with my coven. I really feel welcome there. I like them and I think they like me. :) Anyway, I have found my path back again. I feel at ease and confident about it. I can't share everything here. That's a pity, but that's just the way it is. I'll still share whatever I can.

Last year after I left the Temple of Ara I really felt bad, out of balance and lost. Now I can see it as something in the past. Phyllis Curott will always be dear to me and I've learned great things while working with her. I'm proud to have had her as a teacher. And a terrific part of the legacy is a group of wonderful women to work with, the Lowland Systers.

This is the robe I made for the Litha celebration. As you know I'm not a sewing-star (that's a huge understatement...) so I had help from Wonder and Ron. I have two belts: one straight and one braided (what a work!). The fabric (100% cotton) was white originally, but I decided to dye it. A bit of a gamble, but it turned out just the way I hoped it would! I bought the shawl some time ago and the colour fit perfectly.

And the winner is...

Mike, you've just won a free copy of 'Learning To Stand'! Congratulations! Please e-mail me your home address, so Claudia can send you your prize. Enjoy!

Learning To Stand

Last year I let Claudia Hall Christian hijack my blog to promote her fabulous novel The Fey (see blogpost). Now it's time to let you know about the second novel in this series: Learning To Stand. I read it a few weeks ago. I was really looking forward to see how Alex' story would continue and I wasn't disappointed in any way. If you liked The Fey, you'll like Learning To Stand. I love both!

After all Alex Hargreaves has been through everyone expects her to move on. That's not as easy as they make it sound though... Alex struggles to get back on her feet. Meanwhile the world around her doesn't stand still. Things happen around her and she has to get herself together. She's the only chance of survival for a little kid. With the courage of despair she leads her team into a very dangerous encounter.

The book grabbed me and I couldn't lay it down. Page after page I wanted to read to know what would happen next. Indeed, a page-turner par excellence. Interested? Claudia is offering you a 20% discount on all of her books. Use discount code "BLOGTOUR" in her Create Space store. Learning To Stand is also available at Amazon, but it's not possible to offer the discount there.

But it gets even better! If you comment on this blog post you are automatically entered to win a FREE copy of Learning To Stand. I will wait until the beginning of next week to give you some time. Just like last year I'll put the names of the commenters on little papers and pick one blindly, so... take your chance and leave a comment!
Claudia will be checking in and answer your questions.

Some links to visit:
On A Limb With Claudia - Claudia's blog
Stories by Claudia
AlexTheFey - home of the Alex the Fey thriller series
Denver Cereal - serial fiction by Claudia

Herbal fun again

Today I made a wonderful walk in the dunes with Foofur & Arwen. While they were walking around me I picked some red poppy (papaver rhoeas), not the opium poppy: that's papaver somniferum. Back home I put them in alcohol, oil and hot water (separately). Internally poppy helps against coughs, throat aches, hemorrhage, nervousness and insomnia. In external application it has a soothing and moisturising effect on the skin.

I love my herbal experiments. I have made quite a few. At the moment this is my window sill in the kitchen:

From left to right: herbal vinegar, lemon balm oil infusion, poppy tincture, echinacea root tincture, rosemary oil infusion, poppy oil infusion, valerian root tincture and poppy water infusion. On the far right is water with gemstones.

Ceramic art

Some time ago I noticed a picture on Flickr by Suzie Ridler that showed a lovely ceramic bowl. I did some searching and ended up at Etsy. De Baun Fine Ceramics sells beautiful handcrafted bowls, incense burners and more. They have all been created by artist Diane De Baun. She has been working with clay since the early 80’s. Her websites are full of wonderful ceramic art, so it was hard to choose! After a while I had narrowed down my list to two bowls. I couldn't decide, so I just ordered both! Last week they arrived and I love them! The left one with cats and triple moon is 4 inches in diameter, the right one 4 1/2. I've put them on my altar.

Do you want to shop for yourself? Here are the links:
De Baun Fine Ceramics - website
De Baun Fine Ceramics - Etsy Store

Busy(ness)

The last months have been tough. Ron officially lost his job on May 1st. We knew that beforehand, so we acted early to get all the paperwork and applications done in time. To cut a long story short: we did the right thing but the social security authority made a mess of it and sent us from pillar to post. I'll spare you the details, but it was very frustrating. We've had quite some weeks... Both depressed and desperate, but somewhere deep within determined to overcome this. And it looks like we are finally on a winning streak. We aren't there yet, not by a long shot, but I'm moderately positive.

Despite his qualifications and experience it isn't easy for Ron to find another job, because he is too old at 45. Unbelievable, isn't it? He had to think about what he would want to do first. That took a while to figure out. Some time ago we talked with my brother and he suggested that Ron would start his own business. Ron worked out the idea and we did some research. The social security authority agrees the plan is good enough to give it a try! So now we are at the beginning of a new path. It will take time to bring it about, but that's okay. At least we can work towards a positive future again!

Herbal Healing Salve

Ever since I joined HerbMentor, I've been trying out stuff. I made a nettle infusion and started with an echinacea tincture. Today I made a herbal healing salve with comfrey, plantain, calendula and St. John's Wort. I made a slideshow of the process:

The pictures of the infusion, tincture so far and the salve are also in my Flickr-album "Herbal Stuff".

10th PFI Conference Netherlands

Last Saturday I went to the 10th PFI Conference in Lunteren. I left home early to be in time for the opening ritual. At arrival I already met a lot of friends and other acquaintances and that went on throughout the day. It's a great opportunity to meet people!

The opening ritual was performed by Frigga Asraaf and Michiel from the Asatru network Het Rad. Central in the ritual stood three branches that represented the PFI Netherlands: one for Lady Bara (National Coordinator PFI and organizer of the Conference), one for Morgana (International Coordinator PFI) and one for the PFI in general. We all brought ribbons to decorate the branches. I hung mine in Lady Bara's branch. The result was placed in a special place during the day.

All day workshops were given in different rooms in the building; sometimes it was very hard to make a choice! Workshops I attended:
*** The Wild Hunt by Gardenstone (lecture with music and pictures)
*** Powersongs by Frigga Asraaf & Michiel (singing powersongs together)
*** Feeling the energy of the landscape by Linda Wormhoudt (info, experiencing, trance journey)
*** Polarity in Wicca by Boann & Dagda Segais (Gardnerian HPS & HP guided us in connecting with the Goddess and God)
I enjoyed them all very much: interesting and fun to do!

In between the workshops I had time to explore all the stalls. I restrained myself and only bought 2 books and some beautiful cards. From Frigga Asraaf I bought her book "Asatru - een naslagwerk" (Asatru - a reference book), one of the most extensive Dutch books on asatru. At the table of bookshop De Wijze Kater I bought The Wicca Herbal by Jamie Wood.

In the closing ritual the branches for Lady Bara and Morgana were given to them. Then it was time for dinner: a delicious Indonesian buffet. Very yummy!!! Around 8PM The Lowland Paddies started playing in the big room. Great music and very good to dance. There had been a balfolk workshop in the afternoon and this was the perfect moment to get some exercise. I enjoyed watching! :)
Around 10PM I said my goodbyes. I dropped two friends in Amsterdam and drove home.

Witches Cafe Haarlem

Yesterday I've been to the Witches Cafe in Haarlem for the first time. It is organised by George and Sander of Mandragora in De Groene Godin, a lovely little shop I got to know a few weeks ago by doing a workshop there.  It is a nice place with great ambience.

This month Jungian therapist Annemarie Peters held a short presentation about her book "Dochters van de Maan" (Daughters of the Moon). In the book she shows the link between women's monthly cycles and the moon. She told us about how the book came to life, shared the essence of the book and did a wonderful guided visualisation with us. Very interesting! In between and afterwards I chatted with Annemarie and the other visitors while we enjoyed herbal tea and yummy cake. A wonderful evening that bears repetition!

Numen, the nature of plants

Today I watched an excellent documentary: Numen, The Nature Of Plants. It was an exclusive screening for HerbMentor-members. Numen (defined as the animating force in nature) is a 95-minute documentary film focusing on the healing power of plants and the natural world. It is for herbalists, gardeners, medical practitioners, plant lovers - and everyone concerned about human and environmental health.

The film is built around interviews with a series of experts and individuals that in turn share their opinion about a lot of topics. In between they show beautiful footage of medicinal plants. That works very good. It is educating, moving, awakening, inspiring, compelling, and so much more. I can really recommend it to everyone!

Here's a 10 minute preview, enjoy!

Beltane Blessings

Have a wonderful Beltane!!!

(Samhain Blessings to my pagan friends in the Southern hemisphere)

The leaves are budding across the land

on the ash and oak and hawthorn trees.

Magic rises around us in the forest

and the hedges are filled with laughter and love.

Dear lady, we offer you a gift,

a gathering of flowers picked by our hands,

woven into the circle of endless life.

The bright colors of nature herself

blend together to honor you,

Queen of spring,

as we give you honor this day.

Spring is here and the land is fertile,

ready to offer up gifts in your name.

we pay you tribute, our lady,

daughter of the Fae,

and ask your blessing this Beltane.

Elf Fantasy Fair 2010

Elf Fantasy Fair 2010

Last Saturday Ron and I went to the Elf Fantasy Fair in Haarzuilens, a fantasy event for pagans, fantasylovers and everyone else. On the grounds of Castle De Haar around 25,000 people come together to enjoy medieval music, dancing, lectures, theatre plays, sales booths and parades.
The entrance was badly organised. We arrived around 10am, but stood in line for almost two hours!!

We met a lot of our friends there. I ran into Kit Berry and her husband again; she's the author of the Stonewylde book series. One of my favourite artists was present too: Josephine Wall! I love her paintings, but forgot to bring my book to let her sign it.
The entertainment was good as always. We listened twice to stories told by Donderelf. Bifi from Greenthingz was crowned Queen of Elfia. There was LARP-play, re-enactment, music and so much more.
In the evening we went home. The fair was open until 10pm, but we were pooped! It was a lovely day, we enjoyed ourselves very much.

(click on the picture above to see our pictures in a webalbum)
(more pictures here)

Ron entered the Elf Fantasy images contest.
Please vote for his pictures:
1: Aandacht
2: Donderelf
3: Elfenbankje

I'm back!

Wow, it has been looooooong since I posted a blog. The reason..? Hmmm. The easiest answer would be "I'm busy", but that's not all true. I often thought about posting, but it just didn't end up here. Ah well, whatever the reason... I'm here! :-)
I have been doing some things during the 'silent time' that are worth mentioning; here are some (not in any particular order).

April 10th I attended a workshop with Linda Wormhoudt about Seidr. She has written a great book about it: "Seidr, het Noordse pad", so I was looking forward to learn more. We were asked to bring our staff or another stick, as the theme of the day was to work with the staff and with energyfields. Apart for some theory it was a lot of action; not hearing about it, but trying it ourselves. Very interesting and worthwhile!

I discovered a lovely bookshop in Haarlem called De Groene Godin (The Green Goddess). I often shop in Haarlem and I even lived in the city centre long ago, but I didn't know it. It's a little shop with a large table in the back where you can sit, drink tea etc. and workshops are held. I did a workshop there with Mandragora some weeks ago. We made an ointment and a tincture. I learned new things and had a great evening!

I was asked to tell my personal experience story and talk about depression in a theme group of a day-care program in a hospital. I went there twice. The first time I told my story and answered questions; the second time I answered more questions and we discussed it further. The supervisor/counsellor was very content, the group was positive and for me it was another good experience with this work!

The Tuesday before Easter Evert and I went to the Matthäus Passion in Breda. It was a great performance with wonderful soloists. My favourite part are the bass voices and they were very good! In the afternoon we went to 'my tree' in the Mastbos. It had been some time since I could be there. We also visited the burial mounds (around 1700-1000 BC) on De Regte Heide. There are six of them, but a little one in the back caught my attention. It felt very strong. There was a tree nearby and I couldn't resist climbing in it...

More later! :)

Morning Sun

Robbie Williams has given his new single “Morning Sun” to Sport Relief as their official charity single for 2010. The song will be released on March 8. He said: “I am very happy to donate my time to help Sport Relief and I thank my co writers for doing the same. Please join us in helping this very worthwhile cause”. All of the record company profits and artist royalties from digital single sales of the track in the UK will go to the charity, as will income from the writers and their publishers.
You can donate to Sport Relief by visiting their website.

The music video is directed by Vaughan Arnell, director of classic Robbie videos including Angels, Feel and Bodies. Watch Robbie rocket out of space on an intergalactic voyage through the stars here or here.

How do you rate the morning sun
After a long and sleepless night
How many stars would you give to the moon
Do you see those stars from where you are
Shine on the lost and loneliest
The ones who can’t get over it

And you always wanted more than life
But now you don’t have the appetite
In a message to the troubadour
The world don’t love you anymore
Tell me how do you rate the morning sun

Stuck inside the rainbow years
And you could happen to me
‘Cause I’ve been close to where you are
I drove to places you have seen
It all seems so familiar
Like they’d been sent to kill ya

It doesn’t take an astronaut
To float into space is just a thought
The morning brings a mystery
The evening makes it history
Tell me how do you rate the morning sun

And the village drunk
Sadly passed away
It was a shame
I never knew his name
I wonder if he sat there every morning
And watched the sun rise

How do you rate the morning sun
It was just too heavy for me
And all I wanted was the world
If you are the starlet in the sun
Don’t go wasting your time
‘Cause there is no finish line

And you don’t see anything
Not even love not anything
The night could take the man from you
A sense of wonder overdue
The morning brings a mystery
The evening makes it history
Who am I to rate the morning sun

Written by R. Williams, D. Spencer, K. Andrews, R. Scott, S. Ralph, D. Black

Passport

Today we finally applied for new passports. They expired in September 2009, but first we didn't have the money (2x €50,90) and then we couldn't find them... They have a fixed place, but somehow weren't there anymore. We searched the house several times, but alas... This week we decided to report them missing. That would have meant extra costs, but we really didn't know where else to look. Before we did inform the police we decided to search one more time. And o wonder... we found them, in Ron's photography bag! At first we wondered why, but suddenly we knew. Ah well, they have been found.

Of course we needed passport photo's. I never like pictures of myself, but the requirements for a passport made it even worse: ears visible, 100% front view, no smile. Ron had to take his glasses off. The photographer made an extra set of 'normal' pictures. Mine are both horrible, on the 'normal' pic I have slit-eyes because he made me laugh. At least Ron's pics are nice. :-)
Since a short time there are fingerprints on the Dutch passports. I thought about ink, the old-fashioned way, but none of that! It worked with a scanner, nice and clean. Next Friday we can pick up our new passports!

Weekend in a yurt

Two weeks ago the Lowland Systers spent the weekend (Friday to Sunday) in a yurt in Otterlo. There are 5 yurts (or gers as the Mongolian people call them) on a field, and a tipi with electricity where you can cook. In the yurts there is one electric point, no water and a central stove to heat. Like the yurt itself the interior is authentic and made in Mongolia. You can see pictures in my Facebook photoalbum (no need to have a FB-account).

We got together to make a fresh start. We dealt with the Ara-stuff and are moving on. We all are doing our own thing, but we decided to stay together as a group. Ara Lowlands has changed into Lowland Systers. One woman decided to step out and go her own way. We are with 6 women now. This weekend was to reconnect with each other.

We did a beautiful pathworking on Friday evening and a ritual on Saturday night. We did our ritual bading in the hottub in the snow. First we had to remove a thick layer of ice and then heat the tubstove for hours. When we finally got in, the water was still a bit chilly and near the bottom quite cold. We didn't stay in very long, but we did it anyway. Great for teambuilding! :)

Anyway, the weekend was a big success and we had a lot of fun!

Winter Olympics closed

Wow, what a two weeks we had! I really need to kick the habit. I especially followed the speedskating, which was mostly at an unearthly time for me. Perhaps it's not the wisest thing to go to bed around 2-3AM and later almost every day when you're chronicly fatigued, but it was worth it.
The Netherlands didn't do bad; we are 10th in the medal count:

• GOLD Nicolien Sauerbreij - Snowboard - Ladies' Parallel Giant Slalom
• GOLD Ireen Wust - Speed Skating - Ladies' 1500 m
• GOLD Mark Tuitert - Speed Skating - Men's 1500 m
• GOLD Sven Kramer - Speed Skating - Men's 5000 m
• SILVER Annette Gerritsen - Speed Skating - Ladies' 1000 m
• BRONZE Bob de Jong - Speed Skating - Men's 10000 m
• BRONZE Laurine van Riessen - Speed Skating - Ladies' 1000 m
• BRONZE Speed Skating - Men's Team Pursuit

The Dutch men's bobsleigh turned out to be a disappointment; the 4-men sleigh didn't even start. The 10000 m men's speedskating should have been gold for Sven Kramer, but the much-discussed wrong lane-switch caused a disqualification. He didn't take his revenge on the Men's Team Pursuit. Bad communication cost the men the final. Although they are the best by far (note the olympic record in the bronze final), they failed to prove it.

Nevertheless there was a lot to cheer about and party in the Holland Heineken House, where all the medallists were honoured. The double gold on the 1500m (men and ladies) was a surprise. The gold by snowboarder Nicolien Sauerbreij was the onehundredth gold medal for The Netherlands in olympic history. The first one was for the men's sailing in Antwerp 1920. :-)

I know I have neglected blogging during the olympics. I'll post about some "old" things in the coming days.

Firechild by Maxine Sanders

This weekend I finished "Firechild", the autobiography of Maxine Sanders. It was a very fascinating and highly interesting book. Of course I knew who she was and that she was married to Alex Sanders, King of the Witches, but that's about it.

This book is an open, honest and brave account of her life: the abuse by her father, her life with and without Alex, her successes and failures, her views on witchcraft now and back then, her role as child - mother - priestess - wife - teacher and more. Still it's very readable, almost like a novel. I'm glad I read it and learned more about this inspiring woman and her extraordinary life. She is so much more than 'just' the (ex-)wife of Alex Sanders!

Next to the personal part I'd say this is a must-read for witches/wicca anywhere. This is part of our history. The things witches had to go through in those early days are shocking; for example being stoned (literally!) or having their house set on fire... It shows the way things were done, what changed and what didn't. Of course it is a personal account, people will disagree with her views, but that's okay. This is her story.

"This is one of the most important books ever published on modern paganism: a full and candid autobiography by one of its most influential, and charismatic figures."
Professor Ronald Hutton - Author of The Triumph of the Moon

TwitterTink

I've been putting off Twitter for a long time, but I finally gave in. ;-) I've been following some people on Twitter, but didn't open an account. A friend convinced me it's easier to follow by having my own account. That's true, so... I'm twittering!
Want to follow me? Click on the button in the sidebar or right here:

A. Vogel workshop

The last week I've been in and out of bed / couch. At first I just had a sore throat, but later the rest of a nasty cold or flu was added. In between I've been doing things. :)

Last Friday I was invited to do the workshop "In balance" at the A. Vogel / Biohorma headquarters in Elburg. It was quite a drive and I wasn't feeling that well, but I really wanted to go! I arrived around 10am. One by one the participants came in. The welcome was very friendly and warm. All the Vogel people we encountered that day were like that. You could feel they really like their jobs and vouch for the Vogel products. The whole atmosphere felt very good.

After the welcome we were divided in two groups. My group first got a presentation about the company, how they work, the philosophy, some products and A. Vogel himself by a very enthusiastic man called Marcel Brienne (he starts talking when you visit the Dutch Vogel website). I already know and use Vogel products, but it was very interesting nevertheless. He had also brought some little jars with raw materials.

When he was finished a nice lady explained and helped us to make our own oils. There was a lot of stuff to choose from. I made two oils: the first from 80% almond oil / 20% jojoba oil with lavender, camomille and marigold, the second from 100% jojoba oil with thyme and rosemary. It was a lot of fun!

Next stop was the factory to take a look there. We got white coats and hats for hygiene. We have seen all the departments from processing to bottling with information and explanation by factory personnel. In another room a public health inspector was checking things.

Then it was time for lunch! The tables were full of delicious dressed rolls and other yummy things. After lunch we watched a short film, an introduction before we drove to the A. Vogel gardens. Everything was still covered in snow, but the gardener made the fields come alive while he told us all about 'his' gardens. I definitely want to go back in summer to see the gardens in bloom! The gardens are in a protected country estate, but always open to everyone. In the shop on the nearby farm we drank hot chocolate (or glühwein) before we drove back.

There were drinks and snacks to welcome us back. We sat for a while before it was time to go home. To my surprise we got a bag full of Vogel products and a Vogel umbrella as a goodbye gift. Wow, what a day! I really enjoyed myself and learned a lot in the process. The long drive home full of traffic jams couldn't even spoil the fun, although I was sooo glad when I got home!

Windmills

My country is a land of windmills. Of course you all know the old-fashioned beautiful windmills, but we also have a lot of the modern wind turbines. And there will be more to give us more energy in an enviromentally friendly way.
Last Friday I participated in a citizen's panel, that looked into locations to place a lot of new windmills (and replace old ones) on request of the Ministry of Housing, Spatial Planning and the Environment. It is an ongoing project which started early 2009. The project manager gave an introductory talk about the plans and what was expected of us. Then we split up in groups to discuss four of the possible locations from a citizen's prospective. Several experts were present and available for questions. Wind energy is a good thing, but of course there are pros and cons. Our country isn't very big and when you rule out areas of dense population, nature reserves, airports and flight routes there isn't that much left. It was a very interesting afternoon and it feels good to be a part of all this. Nothing is decided yet, but we and our suggestions were taken very seriously.

End of the aftercare group

In August I started an aftercare group for people with an eating disorder with Chantal in Haarlem. Unfortunately we had to call it quits last Monday. The group we started with said goodbye one by one and we couldn't find enough new participants to keep the group going.. We did all we could think of to promote the group and to make it known, but the response wasn't enough.

In December we had 3 people. Then one of them stopped to get more intensive therapy. One other was very enthusistic, but after one cancellation we didn't hear from her again. I tried to contact her by mail, sms, phone... nothing! I really don't understand; I hope nothing serious happened.

And so we ended up with only one participant. When I contacted Chantal about it, she had more bad news. She has to stop because of health issues of her own. I know another woman that wants to step in, but into what...? The foundation of the group is gone. We could only pull the plug...

I feel disappointed. Everyone always says there aren't enough aftercare groups in our area, but when there is one there aren't enough participants. I know I did my best, but I'm sad about it nevertheless. It was the right decision to stop, but it feels wrong...

COT #30: getting warm

CATS ON TUESDAY is a group of cat lovers

who share pictures and/or stories about their cats once a week,
hosted by Gattina.

It's been a while since I posted for Cats On Tuesday. After a lot of dog-talk it's cat-time again!
Outside it's cold, colder than usual. We are having snow, hail, glazed frost... and there's more to come. The cats have their own methods to keep warm!

Freyja claims the central heating in the kitchen.

Bastet snuggles up to Arwen.

When Maia doesn't join Freyja on the radiator, she's on a pile of fleece blankets.