Misja

This Wednesday I got a very sad message. Last Monday my cousin Misja died, only 35 years old. I knew he was ill, but still his death came as a surprise. Fortunately my brother called me before I got the card, otherwise the news would have been a big shock. I didn't have much contact with Misja, but I regularly heard about him from my mother. She would have been very upset to hear this too. Such a young man...

Thursday evening we all went to the funeral parlour to offer our condolences. That was the first time since mum died and I didn't look forward to it. I was glad to see he wasn't in the same room as mum. In the coffin was a man I didn't recognize as Misja, he looked old and very skinny. I know that's how he looked recently, but I'd rather remember him as the cousin I knew. The family had put a picture there of him in old times. In the next room I started to tremble and suddenly the memories from mum hit me and it became too much. I started to cry and sat down. I felt a bit awkward, but I guess the people there must have understood.

The cremation ceremony took place on Friday morning. Ron had to work, so I asked Joke and Leo to pick me up. I didn't want to drive myself. The ceremony was beautiful. Misja's girlfriend and his youngest sister have spoken. Of course I thought of mum a lot but I could take it, at least until my uncle walked past the coffin and broke down. He lost his wife on a very young age and now this... It was too much. No parent should have to bury his child. Heartbreaking. I cried on the way back across the cemetery.

I was very glad to be home afterwards, but it was okay. I wouldn't have wanted to stay away. I had to go through this at one point anyway and next time it will be a bit less hard. Although of course it will never be easy...