Monday, March 07, 2011

BF but not Forever...

Once there was a man I called my best friend (after Ron of course) but no more... His ideas about friendship turned out to be very different from mine. How mistaken could I be...

We have been friends for quite some years. Last year he finally found the love of his life. I couldn't be happier for him! Of course that changed the friendship a bit, but that was to be expected and fine with me. The contact was less frequent, but our bond seemed as strong as it had always been. At the end of January I went to visit him for a day and we had a wonderful day together. A few days later he called, panic-stricken by a certain problem. Ron and I talked to him and calmed him down a bit. I was worried, but he said he'd go to his girlfriend so he would be okay. I asked him to let me know how it would work out.

After this I didn't hear anything from him for weeks. I tried to call several times, several numbers. Nothing! I was confused, but decided to give it some time. He obviously needed that. I sent him an invitation to Ron's birthday, like we did to all our friends. He didn't show up, didn't call, no card, nothing... Last Saturday I sent him a normal e-mail, asking him what was going on. I was still worried. Yesterday evening I got a short and cold answer. He had no use for other people's misery. He would contact me again when he would be in need for it. O yes, and a congratulatory message for Ron. All in two lines. I was speechless, hurt, flabbergasted, in shock, stunned, baffled... name it what you want, I think it's clear...

After a lot of crying I decided to send him an answer: "If that's your idea of friendship, I have no need for it. I'll make it easy for you. I break off all contact permanently. Pity it has to end this way, but this seems to be what you want. So be it." It hurt to make it so short and cold. It hurt(s) to do it at all, but I had to do it for self preservation. I can handle a lot from people I love, I accept a lot, but there are limits. People must go very far to reach them, but he did. It's over, irreversibly. But damn it, it hurts like hell!

I could give you gossip, slander or do some mudslinging and backbiting. I won't. That's not the person I am. I can't hate him (yet?). I hope he is happy. Might sound strange or misplaced but I mean it...

1 comment:

  1. What? What a strange idea of friendship... Especially since you had been friends for years! I know it hurts, dear Tink, but like you say: in the end this is the best solution. Take care of yourself and cherish your REAL friends!


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