I'm a member of the Occult Forum and attended several meetings in the past. Last year they started the Occult Café in Almelo. It's in another part of The Netherlands, not exactly near me. Lately there had been some agitation on the forum (all solved now), so I really wanted to go this time. Some people from the SFGA were going and I could get a lift from Amsterdam Central Station. The drive took over an hour. It was good to see Molaris and Aphrodite Moira again, along with other familiar and completely new faces. We had a great evening and before we knew it was time to go again. It didn't take long before the couple on the back seats fell asleep against each other; they looked quite cute and cosy together. I was home around 1.30am.
This morning I was up early with Ron, but went back to bed after he left. I just got out. Still very tired, but it was worth it!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Mabon with Whitelight
Last weekend Monique and I attended a Mabon-meeting of the Whitelight-forum which celebrated its first year! I post on the forum from time to time, but I didn't know much people irl beforehand. I was looking forward to it but had been busy with other things the days before, so I had to settle in for a while. Looking back I can say we had a great weekend!
The location was "Het Keldertje" (little cellar) on leisure-park De Woensberg. We had 4 little log cabins with 4 bunk beds each and a big collective cabin with kitchen. The weather forecast wasn't very good, but fortunately it was wrong; we had sunny weather most of the time!
Among the people was a couple from... IJmuiden! They looked familiar, but I didn't know them. When we talked a bit longer they turned out to be the neighbours of Ron's best friend (now only his ex-wife lives there)! I admired the woman's beautiful necklace and heard she bought it on a jumble sale just around the corner of my home. It's a small world...!
After introductions and lunch there were workshops. I had chosen "totem animal". First we got a guided meditation to find or meet our totem animal. It was wonderful to meet "my" black panther again. Later the totem I got in the Phyllis Curott weekend, a red deer, walked towards us with a little roe (deer) at his side. The little one told me she was Monique's totem animal, but couldn't get through to her. I welcomed her, but then it was time to leave. When everyone had returned from their journey we talked about our experiences. Monique had been disturbed in her meditation and failed to meet her animal, so I told her about the little roe.
Then we gathered around the tables to make a spiritstick, decorating a branch we found in the woods in the spirit of the totem animal. This is my result (picture taken at home in front of my big Bast statue).
Whitelight had given all of us a little decorated box. The accompanying assignment was to write a note for someone else with a wish. It wasn't easy to come up with a wish, but finally I wrote: 'I wish you BALANCE. Balance in yourself, balance in your life, on the inside and to the outside.' Saturday night in the Mabon ritual we had to give the box to someone in the group we didn't know. I instantly knew to whom I had to give it. She was very surprised, because my wish scored bull's eye. It was exactly what she needed and wished for. I got a box with a short note: 'much luck and happiness'. Who wouldn't want that?
The ritual took place around a campfire in a big circle. We drew the circle by walking around deosil (clockwise) three times and closed it by walking widdershins (counter-clockwise). It was a warm ritual, literally and metaphorically. Afterwards we sat around the fire and talked, sang and celebrated.
The night wasn't that bad, but I was glad it was over. I giggled and teased, didn't sleep much, had to go to the toilet (in a cabin further down), missed Ron like crazy... Nothing new! ;-)
Some of us woke up early to greet the sun at sunrise (7.16am). We did a nice little ritual in an open field. Then we made tea and coffee and talked a bit. I went for a walk in the woods with a little group. Joy (the dog of one of the forum-members) joined us. I missed my dogs, so I was glad to have a substitute. That sounds bad, but I really liked to play with her and have her around!
After the brunch there were more workshops. I have made a besom (broom). Silverwolf first explained something about the witches broom and its origin and then we got creative! We sat outside, the weather was fine. I want to decorate the handle later.
Too soon the time came to say goodbye and go home... Always an emotional moment. I had enjoyed myself very much, but was eager to go home also. I've met a lot of new people and I'd love to see them again!
The location was "Het Keldertje" (little cellar) on leisure-park De Woensberg. We had 4 little log cabins with 4 bunk beds each and a big collective cabin with kitchen. The weather forecast wasn't very good, but fortunately it was wrong; we had sunny weather most of the time!
Among the people was a couple from... IJmuiden! They looked familiar, but I didn't know them. When we talked a bit longer they turned out to be the neighbours of Ron's best friend (now only his ex-wife lives there)! I admired the woman's beautiful necklace and heard she bought it on a jumble sale just around the corner of my home. It's a small world...!
After introductions and lunch there were workshops. I had chosen "totem animal". First we got a guided meditation to find or meet our totem animal. It was wonderful to meet "my" black panther again. Later the totem I got in the Phyllis Curott weekend, a red deer, walked towards us with a little roe (deer) at his side. The little one told me she was Monique's totem animal, but couldn't get through to her. I welcomed her, but then it was time to leave. When everyone had returned from their journey we talked about our experiences. Monique had been disturbed in her meditation and failed to meet her animal, so I told her about the little roe.
Then we gathered around the tables to make a spiritstick, decorating a branch we found in the woods in the spirit of the totem animal. This is my result (picture taken at home in front of my big Bast statue).
Whitelight had given all of us a little decorated box. The accompanying assignment was to write a note for someone else with a wish. It wasn't easy to come up with a wish, but finally I wrote: 'I wish you BALANCE. Balance in yourself, balance in your life, on the inside and to the outside.' Saturday night in the Mabon ritual we had to give the box to someone in the group we didn't know. I instantly knew to whom I had to give it. She was very surprised, because my wish scored bull's eye. It was exactly what she needed and wished for. I got a box with a short note: 'much luck and happiness'. Who wouldn't want that?
The ritual took place around a campfire in a big circle. We drew the circle by walking around deosil (clockwise) three times and closed it by walking widdershins (counter-clockwise). It was a warm ritual, literally and metaphorically. Afterwards we sat around the fire and talked, sang and celebrated.
The night wasn't that bad, but I was glad it was over. I giggled and teased, didn't sleep much, had to go to the toilet (in a cabin further down), missed Ron like crazy... Nothing new! ;-)
Some of us woke up early to greet the sun at sunrise (7.16am). We did a nice little ritual in an open field. Then we made tea and coffee and talked a bit. I went for a walk in the woods with a little group. Joy (the dog of one of the forum-members) joined us. I missed my dogs, so I was glad to have a substitute. That sounds bad, but I really liked to play with her and have her around!
After the brunch there were more workshops. I have made a besom (broom). Silverwolf first explained something about the witches broom and its origin and then we got creative! We sat outside, the weather was fine. I want to decorate the handle later.
Too soon the time came to say goodbye and go home... Always an emotional moment. I had enjoyed myself very much, but was eager to go home also. I've met a lot of new people and I'd love to see them again!
Friday, September 23, 2005
Zen
Yesterday evening we had the monthly meeting of the SFGA in Amsterdam. The theme was Zen. Of course it's not possible to explain all about Zen in one meeting. Wonderwillow had invited Nico Tydeman (Dutch Zen-master) to tell something about it. He wanted to do it, but unfortunately he couldn't make it. He gave the name and number of someone else, but that man asked money to come. Perhaps he thought it was some kind of lecture, but that's not our intention. We just want to discuss a certain theme, in this case Zen, with somebody who knows more of it than we do.
Anyway, Wonderwillow decided to tell us about Zen himself. He did great, it was very informative. He was properly prepared and brought interesting books too. I'm not sure Zen is my thing, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from it. Some aspects appealed to me, some didn't. I want to read more about it, that's for sure. Hmmm, my to-read-list grows and grows... ;-)
It was a lovely evening with old and new friends, a valuable experience. I really like the concept, the set-up of our group!
Anyway, Wonderwillow decided to tell us about Zen himself. He did great, it was very informative. He was properly prepared and brought interesting books too. I'm not sure Zen is my thing, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from it. Some aspects appealed to me, some didn't. I want to read more about it, that's for sure. Hmmm, my to-read-list grows and grows... ;-)
It was a lovely evening with old and new friends, a valuable experience. I really like the concept, the set-up of our group!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
WW: Your local
Do you belong to any sort of groups of worship or regularly participate in any organizations? No, not really. I'm solitary. Online I'm a member of several pagan communities and forums. They come together irl once or twice a year.
What is the pagan community like in your area? Is it large or small, open or pretty hidden? In my town there is no pagan community, at least not that I'm aware of. I'm pretty sure there are more pagans around, but we don't do anything together over here.
Do you attend any regular events in your area? If I can look a bit further on (Amsterdam) I visit the witches' café and other activities of Merry Meet. I also have monthly meetings of the Spiritual Philosophical Society Amsterdam (in Dutch SFGA). Once per 3 months I go to the Witchy Girls Night in Amsterdam.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Friday
About Gaialynn... She is doing much better! She was scheduled to go home yesterday, but unfortunately she has an infection and fever. Now she has to stay at least until tuesday. Let's hope it's nothing serious, so she can recuperate at home and be with her kids. I talked to her on the phone on Thursday. She was disappointed she couldn't go home yet, but she definately sounded a lot better. The cards I've sent her hadn't arrived yet.
I've got my new datebook for 2006!! I bought it yesterday at Himalaya in Amsterdam. Just like this year I'll use the We'Moon spiral datebook. It is great: informative, lovely design, very colourful. I also like the philosophy behind We'Moon. The name stands for "We of the Moon" and "women". You can read all about it on their website.
Yesterday evening we had the first meeting of the bookclub (see here) at Luna's. Because I already was in Amsterdam, she invited me to come earlier and have dinner with her and her son. The food was great, she's a good cook. We talked and listened to beautiful harp music by Jenny of Omnia. Unfortunately the CD isn't available anymore.
When the other girls came we talked about the book and how our little club will work. Then suddenly I felt sick: heavy sweating, splitting headache and later on I had to vomit. It got worse, so I called Ron to pick me up. On our way home I threw up in the car. I was glad to be home... Not a very nice ending of a wonderful day. :-(
I've got my new datebook for 2006!! I bought it yesterday at Himalaya in Amsterdam. Just like this year I'll use the We'Moon spiral datebook. It is great: informative, lovely design, very colourful. I also like the philosophy behind We'Moon. The name stands for "We of the Moon" and "women". You can read all about it on their website.
Yesterday evening we had the first meeting of the bookclub (see here) at Luna's. Because I already was in Amsterdam, she invited me to come earlier and have dinner with her and her son. The food was great, she's a good cook. We talked and listened to beautiful harp music by Jenny of Omnia. Unfortunately the CD isn't available anymore.
When the other girls came we talked about the book and how our little club will work. Then suddenly I felt sick: heavy sweating, splitting headache and later on I had to vomit. It got worse, so I called Ron to pick me up. On our way home I threw up in the car. I was glad to be home... Not a very nice ending of a wonderful day. :-(
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Putting experience to good use
I've had eating disorders for over 20 years. Anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder (BED), abuse of laxatives, vomitting... Quite a list, but I can sum it up in one word: hell! I've tried all kinds of help with various effects. I'll spare you the details. About 5 years ago I found the turning point in myself and the following treatment did the rest. I never say I'm completely recovered, because eating will always be a weak point for me. But I've learned how to deal with it. I'm still not happy with my body, but I accept and respect it. I don't want to abuse or bring harm to it the way(s) I did in the past.
Some months ago I was thinking about all of this and decided to put my experiences to good use. On the website of the SABN (Dutch foundation for eating disorders) I read they were looking for 'experience-experts' to lead a self-help group for people with an eating disorder. Yesterday I finished the two-day training for it. It was very intensive, but I learned a lot. I know I'll still make mistakes, but everyone does. I got some tips to start a group in Haarlem with the help of a professional health care institution; that would be great. I'm excited and a bit scared, but it'll work out one way or another!
Some months ago I was thinking about all of this and decided to put my experiences to good use. On the website of the SABN (Dutch foundation for eating disorders) I read they were looking for 'experience-experts' to lead a self-help group for people with an eating disorder. Yesterday I finished the two-day training for it. It was very intensive, but I learned a lot. I know I'll still make mistakes, but everyone does. I got some tips to start a group in Haarlem with the help of a professional health care institution; that would be great. I'm excited and a bit scared, but it'll work out one way or another!
Monday, September 05, 2005
Robbie and sigils
A few days ago I was searching the web for some info on sigil magic. Not for any special reason; I can't even remember why to be honest! I'm always interested in symbols and what they stand for.
I had forgotten about the search when I got pictures of the artwork for Robbie Williams' new album Intensive Care. He is pointing his fingertip to the camera and on it is some strange symbol. I immediately thought of the sigils I had seen. I'm curious if it is one and what it stands for. I wish I could ask him, but I'm sure someone will! ;-)
Today Rob presented his new single Tripping on BBC radio. It's different again, but I love it! You can listen to it here (click on the "inspired" symbol appearing next to the words).
I had forgotten about the search when I got pictures of the artwork for Robbie Williams' new album Intensive Care. He is pointing his fingertip to the camera and on it is some strange symbol. I immediately thought of the sigils I had seen. I'm curious if it is one and what it stands for. I wish I could ask him, but I'm sure someone will! ;-)
Today Rob presented his new single Tripping on BBC radio. It's different again, but I love it! You can listen to it here (click on the "inspired" symbol appearing next to the words).
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Blogging
For a long time I've had 2 online journals: my LiveJournal for 'normal' day-to-day stuff and another one for witchy things (first on Muselog, later here on Blogspot). But the two aren't separate parts of my life; it's all connected, all part of me! So I decided to stop updating LiveJournal and post everything here. I've imported a few 2005 posts from LJ into here.
Guess I'm here to stay! ;-)
Guess I'm here to stay! ;-)
Monday, August 29, 2005
A candle for Gaialynn
This candle is burning for my friend Angelina (Gaialynn). She had surgery last week, but this morning she was taken back to the OR. There are complications and the coming 48 hours will be critical. All her friends are thinking of her and burning candles, but she can use every extra thought and/or candle. So if you have a moment, wish her well in every way you want to. Join me and let the universe know this wonderful woman can't be missed yet...Update Aug. 31: the situation is still very critical. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, send healing energy and/or burn a candle. She needs it very much...
Update Sept. 1: relieved to say she's doing better! She is out of the IC. It's not completely over yet, but the worse is behind her. Time to heal...
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Wellness
Another new body experience for me... I'm on a role! :-)
Yesterday I had a professional massage. No sportmassage, no physiotherapy or something... a wellness massage! I never thought I'd have the nerve for it, but again the opportunity presented itself. The circumstances were reassuring enough for me to take the plunge: in the comfort of my own living room and done by a dear friend I trust. Still I was nervous; not afraid, but insecure about my body and very vulnerable. Luckily that feeling disappeared soon after the start. I managed to 'surrender' myself and really enjoyed it! The approach was firm but never painful, on the contrary. I felt like in the dozy state before I fall asleep, very pleasant. Afterwards I felt refreshed and at ease. So if you ever want or need to pamper yourself, I can highly recommend a massage!
My friend's website (in Dutch) is here.
Yesterday I had a professional massage. No sportmassage, no physiotherapy or something... a wellness massage! I never thought I'd have the nerve for it, but again the opportunity presented itself. The circumstances were reassuring enough for me to take the plunge: in the comfort of my own living room and done by a dear friend I trust. Still I was nervous; not afraid, but insecure about my body and very vulnerable. Luckily that feeling disappeared soon after the start. I managed to 'surrender' myself and really enjoyed it! The approach was firm but never painful, on the contrary. I felt like in the dozy state before I fall asleep, very pleasant. Afterwards I felt refreshed and at ease. So if you ever want or need to pamper yourself, I can highly recommend a massage!
My friend's website (in Dutch) is here.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Skyclad
*** skyclad = clad in sky = dressed in air = naked (in ritual) ***
For Friday I had planned a personal, solitary ritual at home. The idea had been in my mind for weeks. Thursday the vague idea got more specific. I wrote the text in the middle of the night and finished it on Friday morning. I prepared myself, the altar and the ritual space. Suddenly I felt the urge to do this ritual skyclad, so I decided on the spot to do it. I never worked skyclad before, because I never felt right with it. I've accepted my body, but that doesn't mean I like to see it... This time was different. The circle and ritual felt very powerful and being skyclad fitted in perfectly. I had no problem whatsoever with it. Quite a strange experience for me, but I'm glad I did it! I always wanted to try, but somehow planning to be skyclad only made me giggle. :-) This was the perfect opportunity, I took it and I'm proud of myself for it.
This is a picture of the altar. I used my new Celtic tree tapestry as an altar cloth and kept the rest simple.
For Friday I had planned a personal, solitary ritual at home. The idea had been in my mind for weeks. Thursday the vague idea got more specific. I wrote the text in the middle of the night and finished it on Friday morning. I prepared myself, the altar and the ritual space. Suddenly I felt the urge to do this ritual skyclad, so I decided on the spot to do it. I never worked skyclad before, because I never felt right with it. I've accepted my body, but that doesn't mean I like to see it... This time was different. The circle and ritual felt very powerful and being skyclad fitted in perfectly. I had no problem whatsoever with it. Quite a strange experience for me, but I'm glad I did it! I always wanted to try, but somehow planning to be skyclad only made me giggle. :-) This was the perfect opportunity, I took it and I'm proud of myself for it.
This is a picture of the altar. I used my new Celtic tree tapestry as an altar cloth and kept the rest simple.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Castlefest 2005
Sunday I've been to Castlefest in the gardens of Castle De Keukenhof in Lisse, a historical fantasy event. There was a lane with booths full of pagan stuff. My friends Whitelight and Vrouw Holda both had a stall. I met a lot of friends and acquaintances. Two of them, Torc & Ivy, celebrated their love and commitment in a handfasting ceremony. I was part of the circle and it was a wonderful and loving ritual. Pictures can be found here.
I bought a celtic tree tapestry (like this one, but in greenish). I want to use it with other tapestries I bought before in my own room (when the rebuilding downstairs is done). I also bought a beautiful little bottle, made of glass with a pattern in it.
I was very tired when I got home (still am), but it was worth it! I had a great day! My pictures are in an online album.
I bought a celtic tree tapestry (like this one, but in greenish). I want to use it with other tapestries I bought before in my own room (when the rebuilding downstairs is done). I also bought a beautiful little bottle, made of glass with a pattern in it.
I was very tired when I got home (still am), but it was worth it! I had a great day! My pictures are in an online album.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
WW: Your knowledge
Do you keep a journal or some other archive to keep track of what you learn, rituals you attend, etc?
Yes, I have several journals for different parts (a Reiki journal, a ritual journal, etc.) and several files for solitary and groups. I store everything in real files / folders and on my computer.
Would you ever want to share all the knowledge you've gained on your path? Or would you prefer to keep it personal, only to those close to you?
I wouldn't share it with just anyone, but I'd like to share with someone special or a little group. There are things nobody will ever see, but I often share stuff.
How do you plan to pass down what you know to your children?
I have no children and don't know whether there will be any, but I have good examples of pagan parenting in my circle of friends. I would learn and tell a lot, but eventually it's their own decision. If they would choose my path, I'd be very happy to show them the way.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Snoopy...
This is a picture of our cat Snoopy when she sat on my keyboard last week. Today I had to let her go... She was old (16) and lately her health was failing. There wasn't much the vet or we could do, conditions of old age. To treat one problem would only worsen another. She didn't have any pain, ate and drank enough; she just got very thin.
The last days she started to wobble a bit. I knew her end was coming... I did all I could to make it easier on her. I let her sleep on my chest at night, carried her around in my arms, I stroke her as often as she wanted, gave her reiki, etc.
Today she was deteriorating rapidly. I hoped she would pass away on her own at home, but her little heart was too strong. When the vet gave her an anaesthetic, she didn't react and the final injection wasn't even necessary...
Her tiny body will be cremated, her soul will join those of our other pets at the rainbow bridge...
Snoopy
May 25, 1989 - † July 26, 2005
I'll never forget you, sweetie. You're in my heart forever...
A new candle is burning in front of my biggest Bast statue. I know she'll take care of my little darling.
The last days she started to wobble a bit. I knew her end was coming... I did all I could to make it easier on her. I let her sleep on my chest at night, carried her around in my arms, I stroke her as often as she wanted, gave her reiki, etc.
Today she was deteriorating rapidly. I hoped she would pass away on her own at home, but her little heart was too strong. When the vet gave her an anaesthetic, she didn't react and the final injection wasn't even necessary...
Her tiny body will be cremated, her soul will join those of our other pets at the rainbow bridge...
Snoopy
May 25, 1989 - † July 26, 2005
I'll never forget you, sweetie. You're in my heart forever...
A new candle is burning in front of my biggest Bast statue. I know she'll take care of my little darling.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Tour de Lance, number 7!!!
It's official, HE DID IT! Lance Armstrong took his 7th Tour de France victory in a row. Man, did he deserve it...!!! He is the very best, but also a nice person interested in every cyclist in the tour. His preparations are called fanatic; maybe they are, but it sure pays off! Only he can do this... I've been his fan ever since I first saw him on Dutch television, long before his illness and the Tour victories. I was devastated when I heard about the cancer, but always believed in his comeback. And what a comeback it has been... I know this is his last performance as a professional. He'll be greatly missed, even if he will show up as a part of the Discovery Team staff or something. I'm sure this won't be the last we'll see and hear from him.
I know he probably won't read this, but still I say:
I know he probably won't read this, but still I say:
Thank You, Lance, for everything!!!
He shared the podium with his twin daughters and son Luke while Sheryl Crow, friends and family were watching. I'm so glad they were all there for him. He looks great and happy with his kids. Tonight he'll throw a big party and tomorrow he'll take his family and friends to the south of France to enjoy a well-deserved holiday. Enjoy your time off, Lance. I wish you all the best and more.
He shared the podium with his twin daughters and son Luke while Sheryl Crow, friends and family were watching. I'm so glad they were all there for him. He looks great and happy with his kids. Tonight he'll throw a big party and tomorrow he'll take his family and friends to the south of France to enjoy a well-deserved holiday. Enjoy your time off, Lance. I wish you all the best and more.
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