Marian Green Workshop Weekend

Last Friday I left in the afternoon for a workshop weekend with Marian Green, organized by the Dutch division of the Pagan Federation. The location was a Stayokay hostel in a beautiful lane in Arnhem. The normal travelling time would be 75 minutes, but because of traffic jams it took me twice that long. I had taken that into account, so I arrived approximately at the expected time, around 5pm.

The group wasn't as big as in the other workshop weekends, I think there were about 25 people. Most of them I had already met at other weekends, workshops, meetings etc. I shared my room with 2 others. Our 4th roommate had taken her own camper to sleep in. I didn't sleep too bad. I missed Ron very much all weekend, but I called him as often as possible.

Marian Green is an author who has been working in the field of ceremonial and folk magic since the early 1960s. She also organises a conference in the UK every March since 1968 to bring together (neo-)pagan writers and their readers, the Quest Conference. She has written more than a dozen books on ceremonial magic and witchcraft. She is the editor of Quest magazine, published since 1970. She teaches at The Invisible College and runs workshops in and outside the UK. I have several of her books and I like her approach very much.

We had our own big room with a very nice view. The theme of the weekend was "Inner Journey and Past Life Regression". Very interesting, but not something to take lightly. Therefore Marian provided us with a lot of theory and knowledge. We did several exercises to train certain elements. We looked into the advantages and dangers of past life regression. Eventually we used two different techniques, different but both effective. I have been back to two past lifes, quite an experience!

It was an intensive workshop mentally. It took me a lot of effort to keep concentrated and alert, but it was very much worth it. In between sessions I went for a walk in the surroundings of the hostel. The autumn is such a beautiful season! The trees have sensational colours. This one was down the street. Behind the hostel was a wonderful footpath. When I was standing still for a while this tree (the one in the middle) gave me a yellow leaf, that I've put in my daily planner.

Sunday after lunch it was time to say goodbye to old and new friends. We wanted to take a group photo, but a lot of people went home immediately and Marian didn't want to join us. Pity!
The journey home took a lot less time. I was so happy to see Ron again, and the cats and dogs! I'm very very tired, but I don't care. I'll take my rest and look back on a great weekend!

TT #16: sports

Thirteen sports I like to watch soccer, esp. World and European Championships (Dutch National Team) speedskating, allround and sprint cycling, esp. Tour de France (Lance Armstrong) figure skating darts car races esp. Formula One and rally tennis, esp. Grand Slam tournaments athletics gymnastics skiing, all disciplines swimming (Pieter v.d. Hoogeband, Inge de Bruyn) equestrian sports, but no horse-unfriendly ones! Olympics, I love to watch all the sports! ~*~*~*~ Links to other Thursday Thirteens! ~*~ Eveline ~*~ Judy Callarman ~*~ Candy Minx ~*~ amy ~*~ suki ~*~ Nathalie ~*~ Caylynn ~*~ Silver ~*~ Twyla ~*~ Darla ~*~ Sweet Kitty ~*~ Barb ~*~ Di ~*~ Sanni ~*~ Will ~*~ Ghost ~*~ tbirdonawire ~*~ Miranda ~*~ Mom's Secret Life ~*~ Crazy Fat Chick ~*~ Shaylondon ~*~ Missy ~*~ elementaryhistoryteacher ~*~ Brit ~*~ JohnH985 ~*~ Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Robbie DVD

Yesterday I've bought the new Robbie Williams DVD "And Through It All". It contains over 50 live performances from 1997 to 2006. Robbie live on DVD is the next best thing after going to a concert yourself. From his first Paris show in 1997 to the global stadium stages of today, And Through It All follows Robbie’s journey up the ladder of superstardom. Slane Castle, Knebworth, Live 8, special TV performances... It's all there. An amazing DVD (2 discs) from an amazing singer/entertainer!

Late Halloween

Last Friday Lothanna organised her annual Halloween Party. This time it was a bit later, because it also was a house warming. Lothanna and her boyfriend live together now in an appartment in Den Haag (The Hague). It is a nice and cosy appartment and they have furnished and decorated it with beautiful things. Ron and I bought a basket with a plant in it and I made a card to go with it.
Last year Ron didn't want to come along, but this time I managed to persuade him. He just wore black clothes, but that was okay (he looks gorgeous in black anyway!). Here's a picture of me. I wore the blouse I bought at Castlefest this year with... don't be shocked... a black skirt. Yeah, can you believe I bought a skirt for myself?? Unfortunately it's not visible on the picture. I bought it with Ron in the afternoon, he convinced me. The last skirt/dress of my own was my wedding dress in 1995. :-)
It was a very enjoyable party, but Ron and I were both very tired so we left around midnight.

TT #15: TV-series

Thirteen favourite TV-series (fiction) Star Trek - all the series, but especially The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager Charmed CSI - all, but especially the first one (Vegas) & NCIS & JAG Bones Buffy & Angel paranormal series like The Ghost Whisperer and Medium hospital series like ER English detectives like Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot X-files The 4400 science fiction series like V, Babylon 5, Stargate police series like Tatort (with Schimanski, German), Baantjer (Dutch) mini-series like The 10th Kingdom, Merlin ~*~*~*~ Links to other Thursday Thirteens! ~*~ Gattina ~*~ Caylynn ~*~ Barb ~*~ Wendy ~*~ Nathalie ~*~ mommyba ~*~ Twyla ~*~ Ally Bean ~*~ Tizzie ~*~ Darla ~*~ Chaotic Mom ~*~ AnnaMary ~*~ Bond ~*~ Cheysuli ~*~ Missy ~*~ The Shrone ~*~ Tammy ~*~ The Imperfect Christian ~*~ MommaBee ~*~ tiggerprr ~*~ Christine ~*~ sam ~*~ Susan ~*~ Mert ~*~ alisonwonderland ~*~ Kailani ~*~ Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Good news

This morning I had an appointment with the eye specialist. She did several tests, but everything is okay with my eyes. No sign of sarcoidosis there. Hooray! To see that she had to drop something in my eyes to keep my pupils big. That hurt! It should last for 2 to 3 hours, but it was a great nuisance to me until later this afternoon. Ah well, everything for the good news! Next week I'll have my blood tested again. The week after that I have a new appointment with the internist.

All Souls' Day

A few weeks ago I got a letter from the Roman Catholic church my mother attended. It was an invitation for the special mess on All Souls' Day (yesterday). They send this to the relatives who lost a loved one in the last 12 months. I immediately knew I wanted to go. I've been to the mess with mum on All Souls' Day in 1996, the year my dad passed away. Now I felt like going too, for mum and for myself. Later Joke decided to go with me.
It was strange to be in mum's church without her, although she was there in spirit. Every time I went there it was with her or for her, to pick her up after she had been cleaning there or drink something when she was hostess in the parish center. I expected her to walk around a corner any minute. We burned candles in the little chappel near the entrance, where the little cross with her name is hanging. It will hang there for a year and then we'll get it.
The mess was a bit long, but beautiful in a certain way. The priest spoke very personal. For every deceased church member a white candle with a name card in calligraphy was lit by the big Easter candle. The name and age were said out loud. That was a very emotional moment. At the end of the mess the relatives could get their candle. I have mum's on the mantelpiece next to her picture. Mum kept dad's candle and burned it at special occasions. I'll put their candles together and perhaps burn them next Samhain.
After the mess I wanted to light a candle in front of the Maria altar, for me that equals a goddess altar. Mum has regularly lit candles for me there. We drank tea and sat with my uncle Cor and aunt Corrie for a while. They were very kind and interested. Leo picked us up.
It was good to go. I know mum would have appreciated it very much and it felt like some kind of closure to me. The pain will never go away completely, I still miss mum and dad every day. I want to focus on their lives though, the memories I'll cherish, the love that never stops...

TT #14: looking back

Thirteen highs and lows of the last year Samhain is the pagan New Year, a time to look back and reflect... (Dec. 1-5) mini-vacation to München (Munich) (Dec. 14) 10th anniversary of our marriage (Feb. 10) Mum's 70th birthday party (Feb. 23) Heathcliff's death & (Aug. 14) Poemel's death (April 21-23) Phyllis Curott workshop weekend (May 27) moving downstairs after 4 years of rebuilding (June 14) mum's death to (June 19) mum's cremation (June 22) my first Robbie Williams concert in Amsterdam (June 24-25) Litha celebration on the Brookberg (July 8) full moon ritual on the beach of Zandvoort (Aug. 23) arrival Freyja & (Sept. 8) arrival Bastet (Sept. 14-17) weekend in London with RW concert in Milton Keynes (Oct. 20 - now) my sarcoidosis ~*~*~*~ Links to other Thursday Thirteens! ~*~ Gattina ~*~ Caylynn ~*~ Nathalie ~*~ Darla ~*~ Carmen ~*~ Judy Callarman ~*~ K T cat ~*~ Tammy ~*~ Olive ~*~ Shannon ~*~ Ghost ~*~ Duchess ~*~ Gail Martin ~*~ Julie ~*~ Skeezix the cat ~*~ Friday's Child ~*~ crse ~*~ tiggerprr ~*~ Lisa ~*~ Sparky ~*~ Silver ~*~ Jenny Ryan ~*~ Momma Bee ~*~ N. Mallory ~*~ Danielle ~*~ Joy Renee ~*~ Irish Church Lady ~*~ Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Blessed Samhain, Happy Halloween

A year of beauty. A year of plenty.
A year of planting. A year of harvest.
A year of forests. A year of healing.
A year of vision. A year of passion.
A year of rebirth.

This year may we renew the earth.
This year may we renew the earth.

Let it begin with each step we take.
And let it begin with each change we make.
And let it begin with each chain we break.
And let it begin every time we awake.

(Chant from the Reclaiming Samhain Celebration - listen to it here)

Yesterday evening Sorcha organised a Halloween Movie Night. This time we had chosen to watch "The Others" with my favourite actress Nicole Kidman. It isn't a frightening movie although it has its scary moments. In fact it is a wonderful story from a different perspective. If you haven't seen it, I can recommend it. We also made an ancestor altar in honour of Samhain. I brought a picture of mum & dad. When I took the picture, unfortunately some had already taken their pictures back. I planned on doing a meditation, but when I got home I was too tired.

Health update

Yesterday the internist called me back. He first told me what I already knew: it definitely is sarcoidosis. The values in my blood showed it and the rheumatologist agreed. He doesn't want to give me prednisolon because I already have high blood pressure and a very sensitive skin. I'm glad, I don't want prednisolon. The diclofenac is working good enough. I can walk better and the imflammations are less painful. Thursday I was worried because I started coughing a lot. The internist had seen some enlarged lymph nodes on my lung x-ray, so I have to be careful and pay attention. Luckily it seems to be just a cold. Nevertheless I bought echinaforce with vitamin C today for a better resistance and camomile tea for my sore throat. Better be on the safe side!

TT #13: Halloween

Thirteen facts about Halloween The name Halloween comes from The Eve of All Hallows --> All Hallows Even --> Hallowe'en. Witches call this holiday Samhain (say SAH~win). October 31 is the eve of Samhain (Halloween), November 1 the day of Samhain. The holidays of the Celts start at the evening and last the following day. Samhain is the pagan New Year's Day. The wheel of the year starts a new round. At this time the veil between world of the living and the world of the dead is very thin. We use this to honour our ancestors, our beloved dead. They could return to visit us, to help or give advice. There is no need to be afraid of the spirits of the dead. In ancient times, people set light in hollowed-out turnips to guide the spirits of the dead, and put out food as an offering. The lights have become the jack-o'-lanterns carved in pumpkins. Trick-or-treat candy comes from the food offering. The spirits of the dead turned into the ghosts, skeletons and scary monsters in the decorations and costumes. It is an excellent night for divination (tarot, runes, pendulum, etc.). At Samhain we call the Goddess the Crone. She is the Old One, the aspect of the Goddess that teaches us wisdom, that helps us let go when we need to change and grow. Letting go is a natural but difficult part of life. We invoke the Horned God, the stag whose antlers are fully developed. He represents the animals that give away their life so others can be fed. He reminds us that our lives are gifts given to us by other living beings. All food is a gift of life. When Persephone lived in the underworld she ate pomegranate. After eating this fruit she understood that the dark, far from being the place of death and endings, was instead rich with change and hope. Embrace dark and light, we need both to be in balance. used sources: "Circle Round" by Starhawk / Diane Baker / Anne Hill "Halloween" by Silver Ravenwolf ~*~*~*~ Links to other Thursday Thirteens! ~*~ Tracie ~*~ crayonsetc ~*~ Chelle Y. ~*~ Gattina ~*~ Mysterious Lady ~*~ Nathalie ~*~ The Mistress of The Dark ~*~ Caylynn ~*~ Katia ~*~ Carmen ~*~ Ghost ~*~ ali ~*~ Chaotic Mom ~*~ Jane ~*~ Hails ~*~ Darla ~*~ Eagle Lover ~*~ Judy Callarman ~*~ The Imperfect Christian ~*~ ren.kat ~*~ Cheysuli ~*~ le laquet ~*~ Uisce ~*~ tiggerprr ~*~ peppylady ~*~ Annie ~*~ Kukka-Maria ~*~ Melissa ~*~ Tammy ~*~ Haley-O ~*~ BecK ~*~ sam ~*~ K T cat ~*~ Di ~*~ Sparky ~*~ L.L.Barkat ~*~ crse ~*~ Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Sarcoidosis it is

Yesterday I had an appointment with the rheumatologist. Ron had to go to his psychologist, so Wonder went with me. First I had a long talk with the rheumatology intern; she also examined me. She was shocked when she saw my worst ankle. After she consulted with the rheumatologist, he came to me. He looked at my joints, asked some questions and then told me his opinion. For him it is certain without a doubt that I have sarcoidosis. Well, no surprise but still frustrating. He increased the Diclofenac and that's really helping a lot! He also told me that it can last some time before all the inflammations are gone, but that the pain and discomfort I'm experiencing now should be a lot less within a month (or two). I hope so! He'll report his findings to the internist right away. I'll speak with the internist this Friday.
Yesterday evening Wonder and I meditated for half an hour. I was floating and swimming in a clear blue sea with the sun shining from above, nice and comfortable. At one time I was a dolphin, wow! Afterwards I felt so much better, more at ease. I'm going to do it more often.

Sarcoidosis?

Ron and I spent the whole afternoon in the hospital. The internist suspects I have sarcoidosis, a complex multisystem autoimmune disease which can affect the lungs, skin, joints, eyes, brain, and other soft tissue organs in the form of multiple inflammations. At this time, there is no known cure for sarcoidosis. Hooray....
I have to visit more specialists and do more tests a.s.a.p. and at the end of next week I get the "verdict". For now I have Diclofenac against the pain and inflammations, and another medicine to prevent stomach problems.

TT #12: frustration

Thirteen frustrations I run into at the moment (Please bear with me, I really need to blow off steam...) having pain and painkillers don't help powerlessness not being able to walk, sit, stand or lie down in a normal way having no power to hold something firmly computer trouble that prevented me from venting in my weblog absolute boredom being slow at almost everything wanting to be there for my man but instead he has to do things for me all the time feet looking like those of an elephant waiting for 4 days until the internist has time to see me feeling like doing exactly the things I can not do having to ask others to help me a zillion times waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrr..... Did you come this far?? Wow, thank you for putting up with my rant! It feels good to do that though, really needed that. Don't worry, I know it's not all this dark. There are worse things, a lot of them. I'm just not having the time of my life at the moment... But as always, I'll scramble to my feet again and survive! :-) ~*~*~*~ Links to other Thursday Thirteens! ~*~ Peppylady ~*~ Candy Minx ~*~ Nathalie ~*~ Silver ~*~ Caylynn ~*~ Eveline ~*~ Katia ~*~ Carmen ~*~ Shannon ~*~ K T Cat ~*~ Cheysuli ~*~ Gattina ~*~ Sparky ~*~ Chaotic Mom ~*~ Judy Callarman ~*~ Darla ~*~ Uisce ~*~ Bubba ~*~ the superstar ~*~ Duchess ~*~ Mistress of the Dark ~*~ Twyla ~*~ Tiggerprr ~*~ Susan ~*~ Turtles ~*~ Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Update

I haven't been online for a while. I've had computer trouble, but that's solved for the most part. The other reason is even more unpleasant: I have problems with my joints. My foot (ankle) is still swollen, not only on the inside but also on the outside. My other ankle is hurting too. My left arm has (probably) inflammations from elbow to pulse to the joint of my little finger. They are red, warm and swollen. My right pulse and elbow are also painful. My GP doesn't trust it and has made an urgent appointment for me with the internist (Friday afternoon).
In the meantime I can't do a lot. It's driving me crazy!! I had to pass on the Lucie Silvas concert last Thursday and cancel aquaspinning for the second time. Ron has to help me out around the house and Wonder has helped a lot also. Still, it's frustrating! I want to be there for Ron and now he has to do things all the time: walk the dogs, run the house. I know I can't help it, but... grrrrrrrr!

Monday evening Wonder and I went to a lecture / presentation by Anodea Judith at Selexyz Scheltema in Almere. She is an authority on chakra psychology and has written several very good books about it. She is in Europe to promote her newest book, Waking The Global Heart (in Dutch: Hart Voor De Wereld). I'm so glad I went despite my joints, because it was very interesting! You can read all about it on the special website. Anodea is a very nice and friendly woman. Afterwards she signed her books for us. She looked at me and signed mine with "Blessed Be, Anodea Judith". She had seen my pentacle pendant and asked me whether I was pagan. When I confirmed that she told me she's pagan too. I wasn't surprised though, in the presentation and her books were enough hints.